Step One: Meeting Girls
Go to a place frequented by the opposite sex.
A good place to start would be the bar, mall, or local children's playground.
Step Two: Indroducing Yourself
Remember, chicks are NEVER interested in who you really are. Tell her you're a NASA Astronaut that discovered alien life on the moon, and now the NSA is after you trying to kill you. Spies and astronauts are sexy, and by saying this, you will be doubly so.
Step Three: Winning Her Over
If she doesn't think you're insane, ply her with your wit, charms, money, or roofies.
Step Four: Your House
Once you're back at the house, refuse to open any doors for you. Explain you believe in equal rights and like to show it in every way possible. A sure way to win over women is being a feminist.
Once inside the house, blame the stray toenail clippings on your roommate. If she asks where your roomie is, say he's out. If she asks why there's only one bed, one cup, one play, one fork, one knife, one spoon, etc. avoid the question. Another good question to avoid is when she asks why you have what appears to be a bee's nest in the corner.
Show her around to make her feel at home. Say "This is my kitchen, bathroom, closet, bedroom, living room" When she asks why you call one room by five different names, avoid that question too, and hope she doesn't notice the urine stains near the bed.
Step Five: Getting Her In Bed
The easiest and most simple way to do this is to pull out your wallet and say "So its 200 bucks for an over-nighter, huh?"
Otherways include knocking her over the head, or plying her with three bottles of vodka.
---
Another funky radical bombtrack started as a sketch in my notebook
---
Go to a place frequented by the opposite sex.
A good place to start would be the bar, mall, or local children's playground.
Step Two: Indroducing Yourself
Remember, chicks are NEVER interested in who you really are. Tell her you're a NASA Astronaut that discovered alien life on the moon, and now the NSA is after you trying to kill you. Spies and astronauts are sexy, and by saying this, you will be doubly so.
Step Three: Winning Her Over
If she doesn't think you're insane, ply her with your wit, charms, money, or roofies.
Step Four: Your House
Once you're back at the house, refuse to open any doors for you. Explain you believe in equal rights and like to show it in every way possible. A sure way to win over women is being a feminist.
Once inside the house, blame the stray toenail clippings on your roommate. If she asks where your roomie is, say he's out. If she asks why there's only one bed, one cup, one play, one fork, one knife, one spoon, etc. avoid the question. Another good question to avoid is when she asks why you have what appears to be a bee's nest in the corner.
Show her around to make her feel at home. Say "This is my kitchen, bathroom, closet, bedroom, living room" When she asks why you call one room by five different names, avoid that question too, and hope she doesn't notice the urine stains near the bed.
Step Five: Getting Her In Bed
The easiest and most simple way to do this is to pull out your wallet and say "So its 200 bucks for an over-nighter, huh?"
Otherways include knocking her over the head, or plying her with three bottles of vodka.
---
Another funky radical bombtrack started as a sketch in my notebook
---
