I was sitting downstairs, watching 3rd Rock From the Sun and slap-boxing the one-eyed champ looking at that hot alien chick when I realised I have a serious lack of any real friends.
I think my lack of friends stems from the fact that I hate everybody.
Now, that's an easy explanation for it all, and I figure the reason why I hate everybody is because fully half the people I know have "extendable" genitals, and the thought of a penis is so disgusting to me, I'd rather perform self-circumcision and then stick my newly changed member into an electrical outlet.
Pretty graphic? No kidding. But hey, think about this: A world of lesbians. This is my dream world, really. Who fights over pieces of paper and metal with faces and numbers on them? Men. Who fights over lines on a map? Men. The only thing I'd ever fight over if I was a women is if Shirley Jenkins told me my ass looked fat in my brand new Gap pants. And even then it would just be wussy hair pulling and goofy name calling. And if I ever wanted a baby, I could to my friendly Ms. Doctor, get my ovaries pumped full of X chromosomes, and go home with a nice toasty bun in the oven.
And who knows a woman's body better than a woman? Nobody would ever have to worry about pleasure again.
Nobody would ever drink out of the carton again, nobody would ever leave the seat up again, nobody would ever wipe their nose on the bread again (I DID IT ONCE... ONCE!!!)
Now, everybody run to your nearest underground doctor and create the fem Utopia we all know we want. For once, you might actually make your parents (Mom and Mom, now) proud.
***If you're friends with P, well then you're friends with me
If you're down with P, then you're down with me***
Now all I gotta do is sit on my thumbs and wait for the Thought Police to kill this one off.
GO BABY! BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING!
I think my lack of friends stems from the fact that I hate everybody.
Now, that's an easy explanation for it all, and I figure the reason why I hate everybody is because fully half the people I know have "extendable" genitals, and the thought of a penis is so disgusting to me, I'd rather perform self-circumcision and then stick my newly changed member into an electrical outlet.
Pretty graphic? No kidding. But hey, think about this: A world of lesbians. This is my dream world, really. Who fights over pieces of paper and metal with faces and numbers on them? Men. Who fights over lines on a map? Men. The only thing I'd ever fight over if I was a women is if Shirley Jenkins told me my ass looked fat in my brand new Gap pants. And even then it would just be wussy hair pulling and goofy name calling. And if I ever wanted a baby, I could to my friendly Ms. Doctor, get my ovaries pumped full of X chromosomes, and go home with a nice toasty bun in the oven.
And who knows a woman's body better than a woman? Nobody would ever have to worry about pleasure again.
Nobody would ever drink out of the carton again, nobody would ever leave the seat up again, nobody would ever wipe their nose on the bread again (I DID IT ONCE... ONCE!!!)
Now, everybody run to your nearest underground doctor and create the fem Utopia we all know we want. For once, you might actually make your parents (Mom and Mom, now) proud.
***If you're friends with P, well then you're friends with me
If you're down with P, then you're down with me***
Now all I gotta do is sit on my thumbs and wait for the Thought Police to kill this one off.
GO BABY! BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING!