i'm depressed (rant, read at your own damn risk)

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Bad.Mojo

Commander in Chief o' the BMA
Mar 17, 2000
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I have this problem. Its a fairly serious one. Its like a mental illness, but worse. Because there is nothing physically wrong with my brain. Its a matter of internal mental conflict, two sides of me, the logical and the emotional, the id and the superego, warring with each other.

On one hand, I hate everything man is. I hate the way we defy nature. I hate the way we are born into this world and all we contribute back is destruction. I hate the fact that all we give back to nature is clear cutting and pollution. I hate the way we pock-mark our mother Earth with mortar shells and bomb impact craters. I hate the way we erect concrete jungles and proclaim in one fell swoop that we have both defied nature and stroked our own over inflated egos by doing so. I hate how we all refuse to look beyond our own lives and see all the problems occuring everywhere. I hate the way we look at people less fortunate than us and all it makes us feel is lucky... lucky that we're not in their place, and yet we do nothing about it. I hate everything we do. I hate how petty we are. I hate how we screw each other over for our own instant gratification.

And on the other hand, I wish I could be like those people. I wish I had never seen what I have, or been where I have been. I wish I could be happy with who I am and what I have. I wish I could just concentrate on today. I wish I could just feel alive for once. I wish I could look at myself in the mirror and smile and know that today would be a good day. I wish I could walk down the streets downtown and feel happy with everything.

I want to be what I hate the most. You wonder where my anger comes from? It comes from this. It comes from the fact that I'm jealous of what I hate. I don't hate them because I can't have it, because I have had what they have. I hate it because it makes me sick. And still I want it.

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CBuzz

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Mar 5, 2000
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welcome to the real world where realism wins out over idealism any day. It's perfectly natural for someone as intelligent as you to be at this stage at your age... you think more than most so it affects you more severly.
 

Goat Fucker

No Future!
Aug 18, 2000
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Hell BM...all the shit we go thruw, is what makes us what we are.

I´we been to hell and back, but all the shit i´we gone thruw, has matured me. I can hold my own, and i dident end up like the emptybrained teens that fills our present time.

But damn yeah, sometimes i wish that i could be one of the beutifull people, just floating fruw life on a pink cloud, protecting them from reality.
And when i see a couple kissing on the street, i wish that i could have just a second of that joy.
But hell..who am i kiding.

I hate them, yet i envy them.
But atleast im my own man, and dont need some some jerkoff telling me how to live my life. Its a lonely path, but its the only one i know.

I HATE THEREFORE I AM

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Zundfolge

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Dec 13, 1999
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You notice how nobody is angry when ants build an ant hill, and nobody is pissed when beavers dam a river. But when man builds something it's seen as some sort of abominiation.

Man is part of nature, what man does is "natural". Now this is not an excuse for wanton distruciton, or for carelessly poluting the air and water, but man is not some sort of alien invader of the pure earth. There are plenty of people and companies that take seriously the impact they have on the environment, but mans presence will change things but change in and of itself is not always bad.

Now as to how man treats man, that's something to be pissed about, but just sitting there pissed off doesn't help things. What do you plan on doing about our little part of humanity?
At the risk of sounding too Pollyanna, try to look for the positive things man has done, don't dwell so much on the negative. Don't allow yourself to get caught up in the whole culture of angst. Your only other option is to decide to be at odds with the rest of humanity and eat yourself alive. This doesn't mean to give up and not do what you can to change things for the better, but you have to evaluate what YOU can do and leave the rest alone.

You live in one of the most beautiful countries in the world, so get off your ass, climb on you bicycle (assuming you have one) and go outside for a while, get some sun.

You certianly can't feel good about the world while you're on the net /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif


ü

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Keiichi

Old Timer
Mar 13, 2000
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My view on the whole "Man vs. Nature" thing is this: Nature started the war for survival long ago. Now that Man is kicking it's ass, it wants to call it quits. That's not how we (I) play this game.

-Keiichi

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Torque Wrench

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Jun 23, 2000
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I've always had my own theory of man and nature. I think it will ultimately be a race; will man mature and grow enough to help undo the damage that has been done? or will nature prevail and unleash it's own power and end the existence of man?

Who knows, I know I enjoy my own life and the direction it is going. I may be contributing to the pollution and destruction of this world, but I also know that I help aid it in small little ways (pick up garbage, recycle, pollution efficient cars, etc.). Maybe it's not enough, maybe it is. I just do the best I can and am able to live with the things I do without it bothering me.

Sometimes I'm just trying to get to know myself. Maybe someday I'll be like BM and have a hard time with what goes on around me. Who knows? Sometimes I think I envy the way he does, other times I'm thankful I don't

"If fishes were wishes, we would all cast nets" - Gurney Halleck, Dune
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Liquid Night

Argumentative type.
May 18, 2000
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Don't envy people whose minds are compartmentalized. Don't envy people whose souls are dead. Sensitivity is strength. Hate and ignorance are weakness. The people who should be sad aren't and the people who shouldn't be are. That's life. Try and make a difference. It's all you can do. I definitely know where you're coming from man.

"Consistency is the last resort of the unimaginative" - Wilde.
 

Alpha_9

Infiltration lead level designer
Jun 1, 2000
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I second Zundfolge's comment

When you enter a room that's an absolute mess, the best way to feel better about it is to start picking stuff up. Maybe the mess our world is in isn't one that can be "cleaned up" in our lifetime, but if you do what you can to improve it, and focus on positive things that do exist, I guarantee you will feel better. Not perfect maybe, but better.
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"Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."

John Donne
 

jaunty

Active Member
Apr 30, 2000
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its really simple..

i'll ignore the nature bit for a minute

a person.. i.e you or i... is a smart intelligent person who wants to live life to its fullest (most of the time) and is happy, rational and thinks logically (ditto)

People on the other hand.. are shit and will never go anywhere.. and are the exact opposite

so you fit into one of the two categories.your either a person (mojo is a good example of this) or your one of the people.. (most people you see on trains in peak hour. (thats aussie for rush hour yanks)

by this i mean that they conform to whatever they're told..such as communism is a bad thing (i'm not getting into the communism argument so dont even try to post and tell me i'm wrong coz i dun wanna hear it)... but no one told them that for all the war raveged nations, communism is an excellent thing to prop the country up on its feet again, sux in established nations tho..

and no one told them that if he IMF lends a country so many millions they'll be fucked for all eternity because they can never repay the debt.. and coisidently borrow more to repay the first loan and its a vicous cycle in which many countries resources (labour, minerals etc) are exploited for almost free by western nations... but they guy on TV sed that

IMF = Good
Commies = Bad

so he must be right because joe blow told me the tv never lies so i'll believe that... have i wondered int o a tangent here ?

ok i'm done now

have a fuct day <img src=http://geocities.com/r337m0nk3y/dvv/boid.gif>


[This message was edited by jaunty on Sep 01, 2000 at 03:53.]

[This message was edited by jaunty on Sep 01, 2000 at 03:56.]
 

I_ABuGa

Vetran
Apr 27, 2000
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hmmm...

I dont agree with Zundfolge that Man is part of nature. I believe that Man's intellect places him somewhat out of the loop, different than almost all nature's other creatures. In many ways we as a species have conquered that game of survival of the fittest, En Sabah Nuir, here on Earth. We cannot say that we are conforming to the dictates of nature. Man is master of his own destiny, gifted with CHOICE. Because of this, his actions have great weight upon the world and thus a great responsibility that, as a species, he doesnt seem to have recognized.

I agree with the other points though. But then one cannot help but turn one's head and see the effect of Man's actions, even in a country side. In all but the most remote places I have been to, and I've been to many forest/jungle treks, Man's signature is almost always clearly visible. Logging, strip mining, chalets for the rich-ass bastard who wants air-conditioning, swimming pools, hot-water, club house, steak house, satellite tv, etc. along with his "nature".

Can you believe that in the middle of west Malaysia's primary forest there stands a whole "club" with all of the above? Its jungle trekking - hacking and slashing through undergrowth when all of a sudden you realize that all the oldest and tallest trees are missing, the jungle seems sparse, and the ground scarred with old tracks of tracktors, bulldozers and such /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif

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Shit Happens... and with great regularity too. We just have to deal with it one turd at a time.
 

Zundfolge

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Dec 13, 1999
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well yeah, I could go for a nice 40yr old scotch right now.
But good wine is the nectar of the gods.
And good beer is the water of life.

can I get an amen!?

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MikeeUSA

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May 25, 2000
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Wine has at LEAST 4 times more alchoal than "A FOTEY OUNCAH!"

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Mikeez UT

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JonnyBoy

alive
Jun 6, 2000
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okokokokok

ok.... im gonna settle ALL disputes over what the best liquor is........ MIKES HARD LEMONADE. damn that stuff is good when youre looking for something not too hard but not too girly(or gay) like a whine cooler or some shit like that. hhhahahah that reminds me of a funny story. wanna hear? TOO BAD SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND LISTEN!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif ok, i went to a party at u-mass one time(im sure you all heard of the college) and i saw this girl i knew and a guy asked if she wanted beer or vodka or a fuzzy navel(don't get me started on how much fuzzy navels suck! /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif ) anyway, she goes, do you have any whine coolers? so, after about a minute of dead silence(ok maybe not but the next part is true) two guys dumped beer all over her!! and she had to go home liekthat!!!! ahahahahahahhahah!!!!!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif ok, maybe it was a dumb story but still.

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