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Illiterate catlogue delivery peeps cant read my no junk mail sticker what should I do

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by FragTastic, Jan 22, 2011.

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What counter tactics should be inflicted on these spam delivering scum?

  1. Phone the catalogue company and complain

    12 vote(s)
    44.4%
  2. Try to pass off maltese as a rottweiler using black\brown paint and possibly an air compressor

    11 vote(s)
    40.7%
  3. Try to disguise a man eating animal as the mailbox

    9 vote(s)
    33.3%
  4. Sesame street stickers on the sign in the hope of them developing an interest in the alphabet

    9 vote(s)
    33.3%
  5. Electrify that mailbox and see if they understand electricty as well as they do the written language

    17 vote(s)
    63.0%
  6. Give them a proctology with the offending material.

    11 vote(s)
    40.7%
  7. Crush the mailbox with the car and say at least I won the battle if not the war

    8 vote(s)
    29.6%
  8. Beat them with a dictionary untill they have some idea that it has other uses

    11 vote(s)
    40.7%
  9. Try to paint the mailbox with chameleon paint

    10 vote(s)
    37.0%
  10. You didnt think of this one frag. Ive posted it below

    8 vote(s)
    29.6%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. d3tox

    d3tox Face down in a pool of his own vomit.

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    GIVE THEM A PROCTOLOGY LOLOLOLOLOL
     
  2. FragTastic

    FragTastic Hitscanned

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    Thanks guys, Ive enjoyed some of your creative answers. :D
    Yes BIg Al Ill post a pic later. Its a fairly solid stone number to give you some idea. I dont know how id go running it down with the car really lol.
     
  3. El JuaKo

    El JuaKo Fear the Mariachi

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    in barcelona we put a recycle bin next to the mailbox and labeled it as "commercial mail goes here" it was kind of effective but you still get some pamphlets.
    most of these guys want to get rid of the stuff they carry so they can get paid
     
  4. Danja

    Danja New Member

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    I think that you should spend several months ****ing with them by moving your mailbox, putting it against different walls, turning it around so that the slot is blocked, etc. After this goes on for a while the Mailman, while not scared, will feel uneasy about coming to your place. This is when you can move on to phase two.

    Follow them home and raid their trash to find their name and the names of anybody they live with. Leave, on top of your mailbox, a letter addressed to him perfectly but inside just leave a blank piece of parchment with half of a sentence written down. After that leave pictures of their front door and other similarly personal messages in your mailbox.

    Keep this going for about a year and then one day put your mailbox on their front door while they're away delivering mail. Set up a webcam across the street and watch them flip their **** at the haunted mailbox.
     
  5. Raynor.Z

    Raynor.Z Ad Nocendum Potentes Sumus

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    Shock 'em with high voltage.
     
  6. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    Put a wild cat in your mailbox.
     
  7. Vaskadar

    Vaskadar It's time I look back from outer space

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    Naw... stuff a rattlesnake in there, if you can.
     
  8. NeoNite

    NeoNite Worst hack fraud ever

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    How about a chimp?
     
  9. dotnetbeast

    dotnetbeast Mood Muzik

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    Put a white substance in a bag and then put that bag in an envelope. Put a stamp on it, leave it in your mailbox.
     
  10. Balton

    Balton The Beast of Worship

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    Have an eagle nest in your mailbox.
     
  11. KaL976

    KaL976 *nubcake*

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    No Go Postal option? Pffft.
     
  12. Hadmar

    Hadmar Queen Bitch of the Universe

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    Dig a big hole and hide. The next time someone stuffs spam into your mailbox yell THIS IS SPAM ASSASSIN before kicking him down the hole.
     
  13. FragTastic

    FragTastic Hitscanned

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    lol so true i totally missed that one :eek:
    Postal (the game) is illegal in australia. Im using that as my defence lol. Ive literally never played it. Good answer though :D Also the reason I left "you didnt think of this one frag" as the bottom option in the poll ;)
    [EDIT] Sorry Al i got mailbox pics but havent dl camera yet
     
  14. Peavey

    Peavey Rattus Norvegicus

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    What in the hell is a catlogue.....
     
  15. FragTastic

    FragTastic Hitscanned

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    lol i should have gone with the american spelling "catalog". catalogue didnt fit in too well. I had trouble with space with both topic and poll answers. Paper spam, advertising material shoved in your mailbox, junk mail etc.... Doesnt the reference to a "no junk mail" sticker in the OP say it well enough? ;)
     
  16. Peavey

    Peavey Rattus Norvegicus

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    I was going to joke about my cats leaving logs in the litterbox :( I am idiot :shake:
     
  17. FragTastic

    FragTastic Hitscanned

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    lol id better get the pics of the mailbox up so someone can 'shop that in :p
    Big cat log on my mailbox
    Its not like this could really be labelled a "serious" topic anyhow ;) silly in silly topic is not idiotic
     
  18. Balton

    Balton The Beast of Worship

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    dude, you live in Australia. get a nice little redback family to nest in your mailbox and you're set.
     
  19. -Jes-

    -Jes- Tastefully Barking

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    Hire a private military company to protect your mailbox.
     

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