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HUGE MISTAKE

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Papos-x, Aug 26, 2005.

  1. Papos-x

    Papos-x He's the sweetest. Just never cross his path.

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    Hey, Long time no see everyone.
    Now to cut to the chase. I need alot of help for a huge mistake I made and it cost me my best friend.

    Here's the story.
    For the last few days my friend was acting like a complete dick to me because of the following reason. I was hanging out with his ex which is also my friend so it was completely legit. She got a call from my friend and he told her that his grandfather just passed away. She told me and as much as I wanted to call him I knew if I did, I would have to go hang out with him and lose my quality time with his ex. So I didn't see him that day and the next day I left to go to Ocean City Maryland. Every day during the trip I wanted to call him but I thought, O man he's going to be mad I'm a day late and the next day came and O IM 2 days late. I just kept digging myself deeper and deeper. I finally got back from vacation and I went for a drive and decided to go pay my respects to him and his family. I pass by his house and hes outside in his car and I look at him and say "Hey" and he drives off without acknowledging me. So I get a little mad at that and try to keep my cool. So the next day I see him online so I decide to talk to him. I must have said sorry and I acted like an idiot and all that good stuff about 1000 times. I told him that I feel like **** letting him down like that. All he kept saying is "It's over and I'm Done".

    I have no clue what to do.

    And please dont criticize me. I already feel like **** and Im looking for solutions to help me out.
     
  2. Thrash123

    Thrash123 Obey Leash Laws

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    The saying that time heals all wounds works in this situation. Just be patient and, don't get huffy with him about it. That is what I would do.
     
  3. Papos-x

    Papos-x He's the sweetest. Just never cross his path.

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    I really hope that works. Thanks..
     
  4. U/D/T/SNAKE

    U/D/T/SNAKE Only partially annoying now

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    Hey man you gotta be there for your friends. Time does heal though...we've all got stories about how we screwed over our best of friends over the years. Give it time. The best thing you can do now is just ask the guy out for a dinner and some drinks on you...works for me If he brings anything up , just say "I just wanted to go out, lets put that in the parking lot and drive it another day" We fellas forget pretty easy.
     
  5. Harrm

    Harrm I am watching porns.

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    He's not your friend if he wont allow you to own up to your mistake. If he's willing to drop you over this, imagine how loyal he'll be if things get hard later on in life.

    --Harrm
     
  6. 5eleven

    5eleven I don't give a f**k, call the Chaplain

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    Does he know this, and more importantly; does he BELIEVE it?
    This makes it sound less legit than claiming that it is, at least if I were in his shoes. Sounds to me like you have made a choice and maybe don't want to believe it yourself. Friend hanging with ex, and doesn't call when my family dies.....he has the "some friend you are" syndrome. If there truly is nothing romantic in your relationship with his ex, then as has been said, it will just take time. When he does talk to you again, you need to tell him this and be honest. On the flip side, if there is something romantic going on, when he does talk to you again, you need to tell him and be honest.
     
  7. Rostam

    Rostam PSN: Rostam_

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    You made a mistake, for that you will burn in hell for all eternity.

    No you want me to be honest, here is what I would do, I'd give him time. Time to accept that you are not perfect, meanwhile though you have some thinking to do as well. Nothing should become between friendship. You shouldn't be thinking about whether or not your friend will start talking to you again, if he will start being nice to you again and whatever. You should be thinking about what you want to do to help him realise it was a mistake, one that will not be made again. If things don't work out, there is no big deal. It's about you being a friend.

    And now, Buddha:
    "A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker."
    In other words, telling him 'the good stuff' a thousand times doesn't change anything.

    Talking about Buddha, you should read a bit about him. Getting mad because your friend drives off, after you choose to forget about him, isn't right.

    But hey this is me, and how I feel about it. Everybody makes mistakes, so I hope things work out. If they don't, but your intentions were good, then there is little to feel bad about. So I'd say focus on just that, obviously how you bring these intentions to life are different from person to person. I'd go to the one closest to him and tell him/her everything, I wouldn't want to angre somebody that I consider a friend with my presence so I'd first make sure it's safe.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2005
  8. ecale3

    ecale3 Sniper - May be harmful to your health.

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    I would give you advice, but i'm a mean spirited ******* who happens to also be evil as ****. I couldn't give you any advice that'd do your friendship any good.
     
  9. Cap'n Beeb

    Cap'n Beeb Banned

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    You apologized profusely, he won't accept it. Time to move on dude :hmm:
     
  10. Arethusa

    Arethusa We will not walk in fear.

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    Some people don't stick around for you to stab them in the back twice. I'm not saying it's healthy and I'm not saying it's right, but that's just how it works some time. This may be reparable, but if he's taking it hard and seriously, you're going to have a hell of time doing it. Whether you want to or not really depends on how you view friendship.

    I'd also agree with Rostam. Getting mad at your friend for this, even a little, isn't going to make fixing it any easier. I can understand if you're frustrated or even hurt, but that's something else.

    I'd give you more encouraging advice, but I guess I'm the kind of person who doesn't tend to stick around.
     
  11. TheWhaleShark

    TheWhaleShark This world is spinning around me

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    I won't criticize you any more, since you have admitted that you acted slightly dickish-ly. It's true; that was a bit of a harsh choice to make, as losing a family member is quite often very rough.

    However, your friend is also overreacting, as it was only SOMEWHAT dickish of you to do that. A good talk between the two of you would lead to some kind of better understading; however, that's not going to happen right now, as he just lost his grandfather. Like others have said, give it time and come back to it with a level head and less overriding emotions. He needs time to grieve his grandfather, and it seems that you'd just exacerbate the situation right now.

    Just be there for your friend if he does feel like talking; I'm of the "friend forever" mindset, so I tend to take people back even if they've been dicks in the past. Just give it time and play it by ear.
     
  12. Papos-x

    Papos-x He's the sweetest. Just never cross his path.

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    Actually He called me yesterday to tell me he was sorry for the way he acted and then asked if I wanted to go hang out and play pool... so we did.
     
  13. Arethusa

    Arethusa We will not walk in fear.

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    Good to hear.
     
  14. Rostam

    Rostam PSN: Rostam_

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    Don't think you 'owe' him anything now though. Just try to be a friend.
    But yeah, good to hear. Glad he called you and say he is sorry, few people, let alone men, would do that. Only real friends.
     
  15. U/D/T/SNAKE

    U/D/T/SNAKE Only partially annoying now

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    Always, always leave the "ex" alone. nothing but an issue. Never do it. You basically, screwed up in all ways. Have some ( I know this will sound corny) HONOR, fess up and by all means leave the girl alone. I dont care what the circumstances are, so dont give me "I dont know everything" just a staple, never **** with the ex...ever.
     
  16. Rostam

    Rostam PSN: Rostam_

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    Bollocks, snake. Absolute bollocks...
     
  17. U/D/T/SNAKE

    U/D/T/SNAKE Only partially annoying now

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    Um whats that mean?

    Does that mean balls? Me no know
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2005
  18. Rostam

    Rostam PSN: Rostam_

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    It means bull****.
     
  19. U/D/T/SNAKE

    U/D/T/SNAKE Only partially annoying now

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    Right, Im wrong, so everyone just go pick up your best friends ex, dont call him when his father dies etc. Great, what an honorable way to live. Me lives differently.
     
  20. Psychomorph

    Psychomorph  

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    Now your're wrong.
     

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