Bob, a lawyer, was driving home one evening over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in
newspaper and lying on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and he was speeding................
Wouldn't you know it........ a cop jumped
out in front of him, radar gun in hand, motioning for him to pull to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like the good citizen he was.
The cop strutted slowly up to the window and said, "D'you have any idea how fast you were going, Boy?"
Bob thought for a second and replied, "Maybe 60?"
The cop triumphantly exclaims, "67, 67 mph, son....67 in a 55mph zone!!"
"But if you already knew officer," Bob says, "why did you ask me?"
Fuming at Bob's response, the officer growled, "That's speeding and you're
going to get a ticket which will result in the payment of a fine!!"
The cop then took a good look at Bob, in his
stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job, Boy!!! Why, I've never seen anybody so scruffy in my
entire life!!"
At this, Bob calmly replies, "I do have a job - I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop leaned in the window, wrinkling his nose at the smell of Bob's fish, and asked, "What did you say, Boy?"
Bob replied, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop, scratching his head, replies, "Okay - what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Bob explained, "People call me up and tell me they need to be stretched. I then usually go to their homes, though sometimes
they come to me.
I have them bend over, and I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, then one hand and then finally two." With half a
smile, Bob continues with, "After that, I slowly spread the rectum apart until it's
a full six feet across - then I quit."
The cop, absorbed with this bizarre image in his mind, asked "What the hell do you do with a six foot a$$hole?"
Bob nonchalantly replies, "You give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge."
newspaper and lying on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and he was speeding................
Wouldn't you know it........ a cop jumped
out in front of him, radar gun in hand, motioning for him to pull to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like the good citizen he was.
The cop strutted slowly up to the window and said, "D'you have any idea how fast you were going, Boy?"
Bob thought for a second and replied, "Maybe 60?"
The cop triumphantly exclaims, "67, 67 mph, son....67 in a 55mph zone!!"
"But if you already knew officer," Bob says, "why did you ask me?"
Fuming at Bob's response, the officer growled, "That's speeding and you're
going to get a ticket which will result in the payment of a fine!!"
The cop then took a good look at Bob, in his
stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job, Boy!!! Why, I've never seen anybody so scruffy in my
entire life!!"
At this, Bob calmly replies, "I do have a job - I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop leaned in the window, wrinkling his nose at the smell of Bob's fish, and asked, "What did you say, Boy?"
Bob replied, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop, scratching his head, replies, "Okay - what does a rectum stretcher do?"
Bob explained, "People call me up and tell me they need to be stretched. I then usually go to their homes, though sometimes
they come to me.
I have them bend over, and I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, then one hand and then finally two." With half a
smile, Bob continues with, "After that, I slowly spread the rectum apart until it's
a full six feet across - then I quit."
The cop, absorbed with this bizarre image in his mind, asked "What the hell do you do with a six foot a$$hole?"
Bob nonchalantly replies, "You give him a radar gun and stick him at the end of a bridge."
