Redneck Computer Lingo:
"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.
BONUS:
Subject: Tragedy
President Clinton went to an elementary school to address a group of children about tragedies. Before he started, he asked the children to give him an example of a tragedy. Several students raised their hands and he selected a little girl.
The girl said, "If a boy chased a ball into the street and was killed by a car, that would be a tragedy."
Mr. Clinton replied, "No, that would be an accident."
A second student said, "If a bus full of children drove over a cliff and all were killed, that would be a tragedy."
The President thought for a moment and said, "No, I believe that would be a great loss." Clinton asked the class again for an example and no one raised a hand. He said, "Surely someone can give me an example of a tragedy."
Finally a little boy spoke up and said, "If you and Mrs. Clinton were on Air Force 1 and a bomb exploded and you both were killed, that would be a tragedy."
The President was very glad and said, "Yes, that would be a tragedy. Can you explain why?"
The boy said, "Well, it wouldn't be an accident and it sure wouldn't be a great loss!"
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I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal!
"Hard drive" -- Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" ---- Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" ------ Place in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy" ------ When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" ------- How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" --------- Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" -------- First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" ------ What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" ----- Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line.
"Mouse" ------- Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
"LAN" -------- To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" ------ What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"bit" --------- A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" -- What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" ------ What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.
BONUS:
Subject: Tragedy
President Clinton went to an elementary school to address a group of children about tragedies. Before he started, he asked the children to give him an example of a tragedy. Several students raised their hands and he selected a little girl.
The girl said, "If a boy chased a ball into the street and was killed by a car, that would be a tragedy."
Mr. Clinton replied, "No, that would be an accident."
A second student said, "If a bus full of children drove over a cliff and all were killed, that would be a tragedy."
The President thought for a moment and said, "No, I believe that would be a great loss." Clinton asked the class again for an example and no one raised a hand. He said, "Surely someone can give me an example of a tragedy."
Finally a little boy spoke up and said, "If you and Mrs. Clinton were on Air Force 1 and a bomb exploded and you both were killed, that would be a tragedy."
The President was very glad and said, "Yes, that would be a tragedy. Can you explain why?"
The boy said, "Well, it wouldn't be an accident and it sure wouldn't be a great loss!"
------------------
I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal!