I have an enlarged penis. I don’t have the money to have an operation. It’s in your best interest to help out with operation money so that I can have penis deduction surgery of else I may be stealing away your girlfriend. Nothing personal.
Deformity
- Thread starter QUALTHWAR
- Start date
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Cat Fuzz
Qualthwar's Minion. Ph34r!
Put a red flag on it. For safety. You know, like when you have a bunch of lumber that's too long for your truck you have to have a red flag on it.
I had a baby elephant's trunk put there, saves a bunch of time cause it shoves food straight up my bungholio, nolonger have to chew or swallow, plus the money saved on enimas alone paid for it months ago...
Cat Fuzz
Qualthwar's Minion. Ph34r!
That sounds like the joke I heard recently. This bush pilot is flying over Africa and his plane crashes. He’s hurt pretty badly and wakes up about 2 weeks later to find that some old bush doctor saved his life and got him patched up. The guy lost an eye, an arm, and his penis.
The old doc used what he could find to help the guy and gave him the eye of an eagle, the arm of a gorilla, and an elephant trunk for a penis. The doc tells the guy to come back in a couple of months for a follow-up visit.
So the guy comes back and the doc is asking him how he’s been doing. The guy says pretty good. This eye, I can see like 10 miles down the road. This arm, I have the strength of 10 men. But every time I walk out across my lawn, my penis grabs a big clump of grass and tries to shove it up my ass.
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
"Yeah right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.
Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet,
he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were, or what we did, but, by God, we took first and second place!"
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.
"Yeah right!" she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.
Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring! The woman is amazed!
Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring loudly.
The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman sleeps soundly.
The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet,
he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks back into the bedroom he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.
He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were, or what we did, but, by God, we took first and second place!"
