Damn Red Necks!

[CHRYSt]

TRUE STORY!
Friend and I were headed out camping in the shenandoah mts. We stopped in a gas station for some smokes, and there were 2 rather large redneck women in there also purchasing smokes.
Well, my friend was wearing surgical scrubs that he had goten from a surplus store. On these scrubs was written: Walter Reed Medical Center -- Operating Room

One of the ladies noticed this and queried of my friend: "Operatin' room? Are you an operator?" (She was completely serious) The other woman (also completely serious) interjected with "Naw, he's a Surgeon!" The first woman replies with an amazed look, and asks "A surgeon? Do you operate on brains?"
We left quickly, and as we were leaving we heard "I never done met a surgeon before"
Apparently redneck intelligence, or lack thereof, is not just a rumor

"Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM

 

[[FiS]Prophetus|PUF]

Haha! Good one...here is another one (not true tho)

A man from New York city decided to move to Montana for a change of pace. Well, he found himself a nice little ranch about 20 miles from a small town of 100. As he was moving in, his next door nieghbor from 5 miles down the road popped up at his doorstep.

"Howdy!", said the old man, "Just moved in I see."

"Yep. Just move in from New York city."

"City man are you, well, hell! I better invite you over to my party tonight."

"Thanks." replied the New Yorker.

"Let me warn ya tho, there's gonna be alot of drinking, hooten and holleren, and getting naked and having alot of crazy sex now."

Of course this astonished the New Yorker, but it's not like he hasn't partied like that before. So, he tells the old man he'll be there. The old man tells him what time to show up and started to leave. But, before the old man gets too far down the road, the New Yorker shouts, "Hey what should I wear?"

The old man promply shouts his reply, "Hell, don't worry, it's only gonna be you and me!"

 

[Taskmaster]

My sister had her kidney transplant operation done at Walter Reed Medical Center. That is one fine hospital, of course it better be as that is where all the higher up military folks, including the Prez, go.

Just thought I would share that... How to tie it in... uh, my sister lives near the Alabama border with Florida and there are lots of rednecks up there.

/~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal!

 

[[FiS]Prophetus|PUF]

Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought that they should go to college to get ahead. The first one went to see a professor who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" asked the first redneck.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do." answered the redneck.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good," the redneck responded in awe.

The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you have a house."

Impressed, the redneck shouted, "Amazin'!"

"And since you have a house, that dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (The redneck is obviously catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume you are a heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard of. I cain't wait to take this here logic class."

The first redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend is still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin'?," the friend asked.

"Math, history, and logic," replies the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked the friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?"

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"