"The Corporate Zodiac"
June 18th, 1997:
Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth.
Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it
is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by
engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is
typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we
all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...
ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly
immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in
the organization; combined with your extreme organizational
traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that
you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work
than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because
you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/ DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/ "TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat,
yet completely spineless, you are destined to
remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a
single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry
other "Middle Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a
"Middle Manager".
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are
destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life.
Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your
worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers", as
everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager".
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab
ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked
your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a
headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service".
Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to
sleep with your manager.
CONSULTANT: 666.
------------------
I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal!
June 18th, 1997:
Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth.
Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with "customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the hell can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it
is said that ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by
engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is
typically full of all the latest "ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we
all know what is really causing your "carpal tunnel"...
ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly
immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in
the organization; combined with your extreme organizational
traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that
you are completely insane.
HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the
organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work
than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because
you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND mail a letter!
MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/ DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/ "TEAM LEADS": Catty, cut-throat,
yet completely spineless, you are destined to
remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a
single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry
other "Middle Managers", as everyone in your social circle is a
"Middle Manager".
SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are
destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life.
Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your
worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for
yourself. Best suited to marry other "Senior Managers", as
everyone in your social circle is a "Senior Manager".
CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab
ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked
your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a
headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service".
Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to
sleep with your manager.
CONSULTANT: 666.
------------------
I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF! Opinions expressed by Taskmaster are not necessarily those of Planet Unreal!