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Coming up front...

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Zur, Aug 18, 2014.

  1. gopostal

    gopostal Active Member

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    There will always be reasons not to act. Not acting though just isn't an option (eventually). It's so damn cliche but you really do only get one shot at life and time isn't on your side. Look at your options, pick the one that feels right and don't fear rolling the dice.

    Try to focus on the positives too. We heard it all ten years ago: "You don't know a single person, you have no family there!"..true, we made new ones. "West coast people are a very different personality!"..so true and I love them for it, always entertaining. "You don't know where you are going to live, what about your kids?"...they never missed a day having a bed to sleep in. We worked it all out but the thing to remember is that it's all temporary. Our new life replaced our old and we are so much better off for it.

    Yeah the unknown is scary but when it's less scary than the known, it's time to change things up.
     
  2. toniglandyl

    toniglandyl internal data fragmentation : 62203480%

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    I know, I just got a job (yay!) in the UK (Surrey), so I have to move there and it's quite intimidating how expensive things seem to be.
    But if he's got a place to stay at least one month, it could be a good way to test the waters without too much financial impact.
     
  3. DarkED

    DarkED The Great Oppression

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    Can we get a link?
     
  4. ambershee

    ambershee Nimbusfish Rawks

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    £800 per month rent on a studio flat (probably about 4x3 meters in Surrey...), £100 council tax, £80 utilities and internet, £300 general cost of living: £1280 per month to scrape by - and that's not including a car or transport which is often required.

    Minimum wage = £6.31 per hour x 120 hours a month (full time): £757.20

    In other words - good fucking luck!
     
  5. gopostal

    gopostal Active Member

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    I asked paper to remove the thread, it's in the non-public section now. Like I said before I was a real asshole and I made more than a few people really angry with me. In that UT99 thread I posted quite openly about personal things and it was being used to taunt back at me by a couple of the guys who are still angry. I've had my home address, phone number, full name all posted for everyone but teasing me over certain very personal parts of my fight hurt far worse than that. So, I asked paper to remove the thread and he (being the great guy he is) immediately did so.

    I never said anything on the forums about this. I just figured it best to take away the ammunition and wait till it died down. I know I deserve some measure of retribution for what I inflicted but it was too much at a time when I was just too raw.

    If you want to read the thread (it went multiple pages and spanned well over a year of updates) you might ask papercoffee. He can set single user permissions to threads and I'd tell him that it's fine. I only ask you use discretion and not repost it back out in the public. I think once you read through it you'll understand.
     
  6. Balton

    Balton The Beast of Worship

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    That's the difficult part.
    As I understand you, you want to be independent and free of family who has been a burden to you in the past. Maybe instead of thinking what would be easy(ie. going to family in the uk) think about where you would like to make a thing for yourself.
    As a resident of the EU you could live anywhere in Euroland, even better, as a British citizen that you are(you are, right? Passport and all) you also have the benefit to live in most Commonwealth countries(Canada, Australia I think SouthAfrica and India too) with little bureaucratic hurdles. You have many choices and that adds two other difficult things to do. Make a decision and work on realizing that decision. It's not easy but based on past threads I believe that is what you have been wanting to do for a long time.
     
  7. Carbon

    Carbon Altiloquent bloviator.

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    Hmm...sorry I brought it up at all then mate. I had no idea about the drama behind it all.
     
  8. gopostal

    gopostal Active Member

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    No worries my brother. For every one of those guys there's also a guy like you ;) I choose to concentrate on the positive.

    That was kinda my whole point with posting. Life can stack against you Zur but it's your choice whether to wake up happy or not. No matter the cost you have to make it so you *are* waking to the promise of a new day. Anything less is compromise and that's the road to unhappiness.
     
  9. BillyBadAss

    BillyBadAss Strong Cock of The North

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    I think the question you need to be asking yourself is, what do you want to be doing? Where do you want to be living?
     
  10. Capt.Toilet

    Capt.Toilet Good news everyone!

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    Well guess what? That is life. If life gave you Roses, Peaches, and Vagina every day of the week then it would be a pretty boring existence.

    Have you tried asking family for assistance? What jobs have you applied for? What jobs do you feel you are capable of doing with your current disabilities?
     
  11. gopostal

    gopostal Active Member

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    Life "sucking" is a very relative thing. You can always find someone that would trade spots with you faster than you could finish asking. However, once you start to feel that way then the only thing that gets you dug back out of that hole is changing your outlook.

    Don't overlook self-motivation. Your brain is as plastic as hell and can be molded for what you want it to do. Get yourself 'up' for something and reinforce that behavior. Your brain will learn that and start to do it on it's own. For instance I've never been an athlete in any form. Since early June I've been running every day and not letting myself miss. Nothing crazy, just a 30 minute run each day. I use a certain set of songs and I always end the run to Limp's "Rollin". I happened to hear that in my car a couple of days ago and without me thinking about it the hair on the back of my neck stood up and I felt that charge-up you get to make the final hard kick of your run. Heart rate came up, adrenaline started to dump, it was totally Pavlovian.

    My point is your mind works like muscle memory. If you aren't happy with what you are feeling then you need to make yourself feel differently for a while until that becomes your normal. True change takes time and there's no magic wand to make it happen fast. Roll the dice brother! What's the worst that can happen? You'll be unhappy with the result? BFD, you are unhappy now. You can't lose.
     
  12. Jacks:Revenge

    Jacks:Revenge ╠╣E╚╚O

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    we haven't heard back from him now for 2 weeks.

    maybe he went to find family to live with.
    hope he's not hangin' from the rafters.
     
  13. AlteredForms

    AlteredForms Registered User

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    Jesus, and I thought my life was bad. I do not know truly what I can say to make you feel better. Take it a day at a time, but surround yourself with people whom you care about and trust.

    Which Unreal game do you play the most? Get online and start playing alongside people on the servers.

    I've been doing just that with some of the players from OldUnreal and we're having an absolute blast.
     
  14. Leo(T.C.K.)

    Leo(T.C.K.) Well-Known Member

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    Do you really think you're alone in that? Or rather, that UK compared to "europe". Don't get your illusions up. I'm in the Netherlands for quite a while already, without many people not realizing it and I am suffering greatly often, but most often it feels like it's not me at all, like parts of my real mind are gone. I am in such a mess that I fear talking about it....
     
  15. Zur

    Zur surrealistic mad cow

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    I'm getting ready to present an end-of-studies project to get a degree. At least that's one thing that will get done.
     
  16. BillyBadAss

    BillyBadAss Strong Cock of The North

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    There you go! Now, where do you want to move to improve your situation?
     
  17. AlteredForms

    AlteredForms Registered User

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    Finish your studies and see where you can go from there.
     
  18. Zur

    Zur surrealistic mad cow

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    If I had no limits I'd try my luck in london (expensive ?) or another part of the UK. Maybe look into what support I can get from Belgian services for working abroad.

    Here's the thing. I wouldn't know where to start. I need to work to support myself and not there yet. I'd need to break out of the closed loop where I've been getting the impression of getting rejected for being the token brit.

    You and I talked about hernias. The pain has gone and I can walk properly again. Figure I triggered it (L4-L5) by throwing an object while rotating around. Right now, I'm having trouble getting up at 7-8am where I'd like to be. I seem to either need some heavy sleep or not be able to nod off before midnight.
     
  19. BillyBadAss

    BillyBadAss Strong Cock of The North

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    Work for a couple years in your own country first. That will help you land a job easier. Just a job that shows you have been working will do. Then look abroad. None of this will just happen tomorrow, so make a plan that you can accept will happen in a few years.

    Basically, look at it like you are working to escaping to paradise.:)

    That's good to hear. About the sleep; that is just poor sleeping habits that have your biological clock off. Stop drinking if you are and wake up at 7am by alarm clock and just get yourself out of the house if anything to just walk around. Take some photos of people going to work at that hour or something. Basically, just get out of the house. Sometimes it's just fun to be up and out so early. It feels like you are using your time wisely and productively. Eventually your body clock will adjust in a few weeks time.
     
  20. Leo(T.C.K.)

    Leo(T.C.K.) Well-Known Member

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    But if you have illnes/disability that will not adjust the clock and to some people it's non adjustable you might end up in bad situation where you will overwork yourself and then you will be unable to finish anything.
    Like with me it got better at one time and I was able to do major house hold tasks but hardly had time for anything else. But then all the pushing, ordering, stress, insults, and other shit i had to hear/withstand. And now I am in situation where I again find myself lacking energy even for house hold and I don't even play computer games beause I can't. And that's also one of the things that make me depressed and keep me down. No real income apart from a ilnesss/disability pension from my home country that threatens to go wrong because the procedures in this country are incompatible and i got no help at all in the end despite promises etc and it went like that for a long time and now im just stuck.
    Long ago I wanted to fast forward studies at my home country and do something. But everyone ultimately stopped me, either it was not possible that early or they didnt have faith in me, dragged me down, abused me, then me going ballistic in 2004/05, screwing my situation even further after being through severe illnesses etc. Fake/manipulated charges following, spending months in hospitals, that kind of stuff back then. Then the slow recovery and downfall again. Misunderstood all the time, manipulated by either this person and that, even though in th long term i was right that i should have more focused on studying instead of the "prescribed" rest and recovery because at some point it was too late and then that last private high school(because other high schools refused to make individual study plan for me) i was at with that pompous headmaster who just grabbed money, lied about stuff and hardly could adapt to me, all with new technology hype and shit. That's why I am opposed to such schools funded by high pro
    file companies so nobody should suffer what i went through and still being expelled and then filed fake charges against me, like breaking a window/door which i didnt actually break. The glass was cracked to begin with and while i went angry i did not break the glass on the door further or making it collapse. Someone did it after me to make it seem like i really broke the glass and the stone was put there in place afterwards.

    And that's why those son of bitches should be taught a lesson!

    If you ever wonder why I'm seemingly so insane it's all this and more.
     
    Last edited: Sep 8, 2014

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