Chain Mailings
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding
out 50 billion fuking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas
with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it
removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak
show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I
scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model
in the magazine! What a bunch of bullsht.
So basically, this message is a big FUK YOU to all the people out there who
have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize
me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by some Pharoh
in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower
and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuk them. If
you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing.
I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some
omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fuking care. Show a
little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by
sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS: Chain Letter Type 1 /~unreal/ubb/html/frown.gifscroll down)
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Make a wish!!!
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No, really, go on and make one!!!
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Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!
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Not that, you pervert!!
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Is your finger getting tired yet?
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STOP!!!!
.Wasn't that fun? /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif Hope you made a great wish /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif Now, to make you feel
guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096
people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off
a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't
like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it
goes: *Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter. *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people
will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter. *Send this
to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life. *Send this to 10-20
people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter and will firebomb your house. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2 Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see,
there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms,
no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no way of counting the emails
sent and this is all a complete load of bullsht. So go on, reach out. Send
this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you
accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks
again!!
Chain Letter Type 3 Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since
1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it
works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible
will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1 Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
Saturday. She had recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then
tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.Not
only did she smell nasty,she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in
his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend (hey,some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell
and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This
CouldHappen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and
Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will
be okay.
Chain Letter Type 4: As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
every one of your friends. Friends A friend is someone who is always at your
side, A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of sh^t, and
your breath smells like you've been eating catfood. A friend is someone who
likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of as@holes, A friend is
someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself, A friend is
someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs, A friend is
someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves
and doesn't speak much English...* no, sorry that's the cleaning lady, A
friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish
of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
have sex ever again.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's
funny, sendit on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a
leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for
27years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
forward this mail,otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll have to look at me
naked!
[This message has been edited by OFUY (edited 01-27-2000).]
Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of being
kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not forwarding
out 50 billion fuking chain letters sent to me by people who actually
believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6 year old girl in Arkansas
with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it
removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the travelling freak
show.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone
you send "his" email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, lookyhere! If I
scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model
in the magazine! What a bunch of bullsht.
So basically, this message is a big FUK YOU to all the people out there who
have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe
the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment and sodomize
me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by some Pharoh
in 5A.D. and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower
and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity. Fuk them. If
you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing.
I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor,
wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some
omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fuking care. Show a
little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by
sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.
THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS: Chain Letter Type 1 /~unreal/ubb/html/frown.gifscroll down)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Make a wish!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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No, really, go on and make one!!!
.
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.
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Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!! Wish something else!!!
.
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Not that, you pervert!!
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Is your finger getting tired yet?
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STOP!!!!
.Wasn't that fun? /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif Hope you made a great wish /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif Now, to make you feel
guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096
people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off
a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't
like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it
goes: *Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter. *Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people
will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter. *Send this
to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a
stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life. *Send this to 10-20
people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid
chain letter and will firebomb your house. Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2 Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see,
there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms,
no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved,
because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutley no way of counting the emails
sent and this is all a complete load of bullsht. So go on, reach out. Send
this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you
accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks
again!!
Chain Letter Type 3 Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since
1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and
probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it
works:
Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible
will happen to you like:
*Bizarre Horror Story #1 Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
Saturday. She had recently recieved this letter and ignored it. She then
tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall.Not
only did she smell nasty,she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
*Bizarre Horror Story #2Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in
his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his
boyfriend (hey,some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell
and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This
CouldHappen To You Too!!! Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and
Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will
be okay.
Chain Letter Type 4: As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
every one of your friends. Friends A friend is someone who is always at your
side, A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of sh^t, and
your breath smells like you've been eating catfood. A friend is someone who
likes you even though you're as ugly as a hat full of as@holes, A friend is
someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself, A friend is
someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you
should be raped by mad chimpanzees, then thrown to vicious dogs, A friend is
someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves
and doesn't speak much English...* no, sorry that's the cleaning lady, A
friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish
of being rich to come true. Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never
have sex ever again.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's
funny, sendit on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a
leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for
27years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
forward this mail,otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll have to look at me
naked!
[This message has been edited by OFUY (edited 01-27-2000).]
