Alcohol Warning! Sound familiar? Due to increasing products liability litigation, beer manufacturers have
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an A$$hole.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANK.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. </UL>
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"There is no point in tip-toeing through life to get safely to death."
"Whom ever sacrifices freedom for security get's nor deserves either."
[This message has been edited by Lizard Of Oz (edited 12-12-1999).]
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
<UL TYPE=SQUARE><LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an A$$hole.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANK.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
<LI> WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy. </UL>
------------------
"There is no point in tip-toeing through life to get safely to death."
"Whom ever sacrifices freedom for security get's nor deserves either."
[This message has been edited by Lizard Of Oz (edited 12-12-1999).]
