I'd actually put more influence on Killcreek's tits than anything else that will sell this game.
"Look... kinda attractive chick in Playboy. Hey, she made a game... maybe the game will have tits in it too!"
Redneck/Pre-pubescent "Jeff K."-esque h4xX0r kid runs out and buys Daikatana.
Anybody remember Wasteland for the Apple ][? That game kicked Daikatana's ass.
I actually played the Daikatana demo, because I have a curious/suicidal streak, and I found that self-termination via sulfuric acid administered through the rectum would be only slightly less enjoyable than playing this game.
Frogs, Black Men named Superfly, Time Travelling to Save the Future, Bad Graphics, Horrible Cheesy Acting and Plot, Swamps with Bugs and Reptiles, and Cheap Whores.
Hmm. I could get the equivalent by walking to the local video store and renting Frogs, Shaft, Time Cop, Feeders, Feeders 2, Gator!, and Porky's, respectively. All that and the fact that the video store clerk would be a skinny white kid with a greasy hair cut that would just look at me funny, instead of a chubby geek with ugly ass hair resembling more of an overweight mexican librarian than the "Supa-P1mp/Gaming God" he believes himself to be. And rather than compare these titles to say, Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy III (okay, he'd more likely compare them to a movie, say, Apocalypse Now or A Clockwork Orange), he'd just shoot me a funny look.
John Romero said it best when he said he'd been working in the industry for 20 years. He's right. Even though DooM and Quake were absolute crap only bought up because everything else was crap and Epic Megagames still thought side scrolling rabbits were cool, and the boys at Valve were just discovering that if you touch your own penis it feels good, they revolutionized how we feel about games, and immersed us deeply into them. But now its time for him to retire and collect that fat-ass pension of his, while telling us all li-- uh, great and wonderful stories of how he got laid "by the hottest chick that just dug my pudge" last night.
In case anybody wants to know why I think DooM is crap, it was drug on. That and truly, Wolfenstein was the father of the 3D revolution. And about Quake, if anybody was wondering, the original premise was a massively multiplayer online game, where "dragons could hear you in their caves as you spoke over the microphone with a friend just outside the village so you could trade items in the field and you'd all roleplay guys like Thor and Odin". It was called Quake: The Quest for Justice. I shit you not. When I read that I remember seeing John Romero's name, and hating him. I pictured him as some sort of sick cross between Caesar Romero (The Joker from the original Batman series) and some Dungeons and Dragons playing goof. THE GAMER! WATCH AS HE SHOOTS HIS FRIENDS IN THE WOODS WITH A CROSSBOW! LAUGH AS HE WEARS WHITE MAKEUP AND DYES HIS HAIR GREEN! WHAT HAS THE DYNAMIC DUO GOTTEN THEMSELVES INTO THIS TIME? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK, SAME BAT-TIME, SAME BAT-CHANNEL.
Honest to God, I'll give Romero one thing to his credit in Daikatana. The hero of the game (amusingly enough named Hiro...) is *NOT*... I REPEAT... *NOT* a lone space marine saving everybody from demons from Hell or another planet! (ever notice the aliens in the Quake series are absolutely obsessed with human Judaio-Christian religious iconography? Odd, isn't it... hmmm... they're so untalented and uncreative, they rip off their own games...)
And in case anybody doubts that id isn't a pile of steaming rip-off shit-o-rama, take a look at their new bonus pack for Quake III. As far as I know, its a free bonus pack with new features, which include some sort of pickups that enhance speed, damage, etc. (Relics, anybody) add team play games much like UT's... the list goes on and on.
Frankly, writing this post, I realize how FFFFFF UUUUUUU CCCCCCC KKKKKKKing (heh, censor THAT one) sick of id and ION Storm I am. Superb rip-off artists and other wise no talent hacks. As I right this, it is quarter after noon on Sunday, May the 28th. I hope that in exactly one week's time from now, every employee at those two pathetic companies have learned the unfortunate news that their entire family has been brutally and painfully killed (with much suffering) in a terrible car accident (that they intentionally caused) while the other people walked away without a scratch, and then a Priest or other representitive of whatever religion they are tells them their family is going to burn in Hell, and that they are probably keeping a seat warm for them right now.
And yes, I really mean that. Go to Hell you ****ing no-talent, lifeless, conning, money-grubbing, rip-off hacks, your half-assed attempts at entertainment (I'm sure laughing your asses off all the way to the bank at the poor naive people who shell out money on your steaming horse shit is plenty entertaining for you, though) are wearing thin, and I'm not buying into that "final version will be better" bullshit anymore. If you can't release a demo that showcases an excellent game, you can't release jack shit.
Boy, I'm glad I got that off my chest.
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I find it absolutely frigging hilarious that people today spend more time worrying about how long they're going to live instead of actually going out and living.
[This message was edited by Bad.Mojo on May 28, 2000 at 12:17.]
