Surgery

[QUALTHWAR]

I’m having surgery this Thursday on my shoulder. The doctor said I wore out my shoulder joint from years of furious masturbation. They said I only have a 98.7% chance of surviving the operation, so it’s going to get dicey. After the operation, I’ll be in a sling for 2 weeks then have to wear panties for 4 more weeks. I don’t feel comfortable wearing a sling.

 

[Rukee]

It's been nice knowing you.

 

[Twrecks]

Don't come back until you lose the sling.

 

[oosyxxx]

I’m having surgery this Thursday on my shoulder. The doctor said I wore out my shoulder joint from years of furious masturbation. They said I only have a 98.7% chance of surviving the operation, so it’s going to get dicey. After the operation, I’ll be in a sling for 2 weeks then have to wear panties for 4 more weeks. I don’t feel comfortable wearing a sling.

Yer in luck. My buddy's a shoulder joint masturbation syndrome surgeon. Takes care of 'em all da time. But choo gotta make da comm-oot!

 

[QUALTHWAR]

Surgery in the morning. Evidently, they are going to sew my lower lip to my forehead. At first this made no sense, but when they told me they weren’t giving me any anesthesia, I assumed the lip thing was to muffle the screaming. Good times! BTW, I heard that they were filming Saw X in my operating room.

 

[MONKEY BOY]

Furious Masturbation Pays Off

QWALTHWAR, I believe your doctors are wrong about the reasons for your shoulder surgery. Furious masturbation does not cause bad shoulders, it strengthens them.

Actually, furious masturbation causes vision loss as can be seen by my profile. My opthomalogist told me that I will need to remove my penis for the time that I am wearing my prescription glasses.

So, my only fun right now is furious nose-picking and waste throwing...until I can remove my glasses.

At least you have the luxury of wearing panties. They make me chafe.

 

[QUALTHWAR]

yes, i think the biggest bonus here is having a note from my doctor that i need to wear panties.

 

[QUALTHWAR]

hey MONKEY BOY! i think i found your long-lost father

 

[MONKEY BOY]

Ah, there he is!

Ahhh, he still looks young after all these years. If only he would stop with his smoking habit. I had always told him that if he doesn't stop that he would grow up to look like me one day.

 

[TurdDrive]

MONKEY BOY you spelt faeces wrong.,

 

[MONKEY BOY]

Pass complaint to Wikipedia

Unless Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_feces) and the Mayo Clinic (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ascariasis/DS00688/DSECTION=causes) are wrong, I believe "feces" is the correct spelting of "feces".

Monkey Out

 

[TurdDrive]

Wikipedia

Lol

You know you cant quote wiki.

 

[MONKEY BOY]

Eh??

Eh??

 

[QUALTHWAR]

If you do decide to start throwing poo, do you at least put on some gloves so you don’t get it all over your hands?

 

[MONKEY BOY]

Gloves?

What are "gloves"?

 

[QUALTHWAR]

that's what i thought

 

[MONKEY BOY]

Crazy Man

Is "Crazy Fu*ker" your real name? I personally like "Captain Andy" myself.

 

[QUALTHWAR]

i'm not a real captain, but i do play one in the bedroom.

 

[oosyxxx]

Those are the freaky tales that you tell so well. You don't like his dirty raps? You can go to hell 'cause Qualthwar's on the mic serving cocktales.