The Ward is finished

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oosyxxx

teh3vilspa7ula
Jan 4, 2000
3,178
71
48
Maybe he signed a non-disclosure agreement and, being a man who respects a good contract, will not disclose without the expressed written consent of Wart Carpenter.
 

Cat Fuzz

Qualthwar's Minion. Ph34r!
I actually do have a picture on my phone that if I let it loose on the intertoobs I'd be sued for a lot of money. I took it before they told us not to take pictures of this particular subject. The movie takes place in a mental ward. I can tell you that much since it's public knowledge already.
 
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QUALTHWAR

Baitshop opening soon.
Apr 9, 2000
6,432
71
48
Nali City, Florida
web.tampabay.rr.com
I have more. Base the story on snails. The patients in the ward are allowed to own snails that they race. But one day, the prize snail that has won the most races is found dead under someone’s wardrobe. The snail’s shell is intact, but its insides have been all sucked out. At first they suspect the person who owns the wardrobe, but they soon begin to suspect the person with the crappy snail who has lost every snail race that they’ve had. The name of this person is Ward.

Other snail owners begin to worry that their snail will be next to be sucked by Ward the snail sucker, so each person, on their own, devise a plan to kill Ward and stop his snail-gut sucking in its tracks. But what these people don’t know is Ward is onto them and has stolen a cork screw from the kitchen facility. Each time someone sneaks into his room at night to kill him he’s waiting for them and jabs the cork screw into their eye and plucks it out. Then he shoves the eye into the old snail shell of the first snail that was killed. He then sits it on a window sill that everyone passes each day until someone realizes that it’s not a snail, but an eyeball that’s been jammed inside a snail shell.

Each time someone tries to kill him he harvests one of their eyes, jams it inside the shell, and places it on the window sill. Eventually, everyone but Ward looks like a pirate because they are all walking around with an eye patch. Towards the end of the movie, you learn that the first snail was accidently killed by the cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She didn’t even know that she had sucked out the snail’s insides and pushed the remaining shell under someone’s wardrobe.

As a story twist, the cleaning lady and Ward hook up and have sex like wild snails. They decide they really like the pirate look that everyone is sporting, so they take turns jabbing each other in the eye with a cork screw and pulling out an eye. I don’t want any money for my idea, but I will take 80 pounds of gold, a Cher wig, and one of those beer helmets where I can put a can on each side. Also, a new keychain that reads “Sporty” on it. If my demands are not met, I will kill a snail for every man, woman, and child on the planet.
 
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oosyxxx

teh3vilspa7ula
Jan 4, 2000
3,178
71
48
I have more. Base the story on snails. The patients in the ward are allowed to own snails that they race. But one day, the prize snail that has won the most races is found dead under someone’s wardrobe. The snail’s shell is intact, but its insides have been all sucked out. At first they suspect the person who owns the wardrobe, but they soon begin to suspect the person with the crappy snail who has lost every snail race that they’ve had. The name of this person is Ward.

Other snail owners begin to worry that their snail will be next to be sucked by Ward the snail sucker, so each person, on their own, devise a plan to kill Ward and stop his snail-gut sucking in its tracks. But what these people don’t know is Ward is onto them and has stolen a cork screw from the kitchen facility. Each time someone sneaks into his room at night to kill him he’s waiting for them and jabs the cork screw into their eye and plucks it out. Then he shoves the eye into the old snail shell of the first snail that was killed. He then sits it on a window sill that everyone passes each day until someone realizes that it’s not a snail, but an eyeball that’s been jammed inside a snail shell.

Each time someone tries to kill him he harvests one of their eyes, jams it inside the shell, and places it on the window sill. Eventually, everyone but Ward looks like a pirate because they are all walking around with an eye patch. Towards the end of the movie, you learn that the first snail was accidently killed by the cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She didn’t even know that she had sucked out the snail’s insides and pushed the remaining shell under someone’s wardrobe.

As a story twist, the cleaning lady and Ward hook up and have sex like wild snails. They decide they really like the pirate look that everyone is sporting, so they take turns jabbing each other in the eye with a cork screw and pulling out an eye. I don’t want any money for my idea, but I will take 80 pounds of gold, a Cher wig, and one of those beer helmets where I can put a can on each side. Also, a new keychain that reads “Sporty” on it. If my demands are not met, I will kill a snail for every man, woman, and child on the planet.

... but then the story is back to life, and in comes The Warden who's ready willing and able to star in and produce his magnum opus beastility flick, straight to dat, mang. In comes The Beastmaster who proceeds to master some beast's bush with his flesh cleaver until he's interrupted by a major news media industrial complex artistic statement: "I have AIDS," said Ward. "I got it from stalking Magic Johnson and going into his bathroom after he didn't flush and eating his **** out of the toilet."
 

Balton

The Beast of Worship
Mar 6, 2001
13,428
118
63
39
Berlin
I have more. Base the story on snails. The patients in the ward are allowed to own snails that they race. But one day, the prize snail that has won the most races is found dead under someone’s wardrobe. The snail’s shell is intact, but its insides have been all sucked out. At first they suspect the person who owns the wardrobe, but they soon begin to suspect the person with the crappy snail who has lost every snail race that they’ve had. The name of this person is Ward.

Other snail owners begin to worry that their snail will be next to be sucked by Ward the snail sucker, so each person, on their own, devise a plan to kill Ward and stop his snail-gut sucking in its tracks. But what these people don’t know is Ward is onto them and has stolen a cork screw from the kitchen facility. Each time someone sneaks into his room at night to kill him he’s waiting for them and jabs the cork screw into their eye and plucks it out. Then he shoves the eye into the old snail shell of the first snail that was killed. He then sits it on a window sill that everyone passes each day until someone realizes that it’s not a snail, but an eyeball that’s been jammed inside a snail shell.

Each time someone tries to kill him he harvests one of their eyes, jams it inside the shell, and places it on the window sill. Eventually, everyone but Ward looks like a pirate because they are all walking around with an eye patch. Towards the end of the movie, you learn that the first snail was accidently killed by the cleaning lady with a vacuum cleaner. She didn’t even know that she had sucked out the snail’s insides and pushed the remaining shell under someone’s wardrobe.

As a story twist, the cleaning lady and Ward hook up and have sex like wild snails. They decide they really like the pirate look that everyone is sporting, so they take turns jabbing each other in the eye with a cork screw and pulling out an eye. I don’t want any money for my idea, but I will take 80 pounds of gold, a Cher wig, and one of those beer helmets where I can put a can on each side. Also, a new keychain that reads “Sporty” on it. If my demands are not met, I will kill a snail for every man, woman, and child on the planet.

That's ten times better than any Saw movie! :tup:
 

QUALTHWAR

Baitshop opening soon.
Apr 9, 2000
6,432
71
48
Nali City, Florida
web.tampabay.rr.com
... but then the story is back to life, and in comes The Warden who's ready willing and able to star in and produce his magnum opus beastility flick, straight to dat, mang. In comes The Beastmaster who proceeds to master some beast's bush with his flesh cleaver until he's interrupted by a major news media industrial complex artistic statement: "I have AIDS," said Ward. "I got it from stalking Magic Johnson and going into his bathroom after he didn't flush and eating his **** out of the toilet."

That, uh, could work, but who is the protagonist during all this?