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Old 10th Jan 2002, 10:21 AM   #1
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Talking True Morety story

Well I know this has been partly posted before, but as the true farter then was kept a secret, I have decided it is time the story is told as it really was:

This true story is from the lives of the Moretys who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was Moretys habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake Mrs.Morety and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning Mrs.Morety would plead with Morety to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. Morety told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day Morety would blow his guts out.

The years went by and Morety continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as Mrs.Morety was preparing the turkey dinner and Morety was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the c and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

Mrs.Morety took the bowl and went upstairs where Morety was sound asleep, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard Morety waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as Morety ran into the bathroom.

Mrs.Morety could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, Morety came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
Mrs.Morety bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. Morety said, "Honey,you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked Mrs.Morety.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most
of them back in"
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Old 10th Jan 2002, 10:51 AM   #2
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Old 10th Jan 2002, 11:37 AM   #3
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Old 10th Jan 2002, 12:12 PM   #4
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That story isn't true. In the true version my fearless captain ate them to get them back in.
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Old 10th Jan 2002, 12:43 PM   #5
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Old 10th Jan 2002, 02:45 PM   #6
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Old 10th Jan 2002, 03:35 PM   #7
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Old 10th Jan 2002, 05:19 PM   #8
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It's been a tradition passed among the Morety generations for many many years.

About 3 years ago I had to take my grandfather into a nursing home.

We got there to check in, so I took him up to his room and got him into bed, then went downstairs to sign off on the paperwork.

The nurse was showing him the lovely view out the window, where all the facilities were, and how to crank up the back of his bed to a sitting position, which he thought was amazing!

He was sitting up in his bed, then started falling over to his right. The nurse caught him and straightened him back up again.

Then he started falling over to his left. Once again the nurse caught him before he tipped over and got him sitting up straight again.

Well, here's when I got back into his room and started checking it out. I said "Great room grandpa! There's all the facilities you need, and a great view out the window, you gotta like it."

He said "Morety, it's all right, but there's one problem."

"Yeah grandpa? What's that?"

"They won't let me fart."
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