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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:03 PM   #1
The Dopefish
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Question Would I be justified in ripping up my $1000 game piece?

My mother has never trusted me with anything. She was reluctant to trust me home alone. She was reluctant to trust me with improving my grades. She is always reluctant to trust me with money. Now is no different.

Obviously, some arguments can be made that the $1000 I will get from Taco Bell belongs to me and me alone (I am the one who got it, after all), and there are those that say it belongs to my mother (she signed off on it, I'm a minor). She's already treating it as hers though; she wants me to stuff ALL of it in my bank account and never touch it again. Actually, "want" isn't a good word; she's "forcing" me to stuff it in the bank. I think it's my money though, and I know many people in my family who wouldn't disagree with me.

We still have to mail the piece (which is in an envelope in an envelope, BTW ), and she'll probably do that before she comes home tomorrow afternoon. Before I leave for school tomorrow, I'm going to give her an ultimatum: either she agrees not to force me to do anything with the money, or I rip up the envelope holding the envelope holding the $1000-winning game piece.

What's your take? Am I making the right decision by not letting her force me into doing anything with it, or something else?

(P.S.: I had no intention to blow all $1000 in the first place. I'll just make a few purchases (some DVDs, CDs, computer games, what have you) and plop whatever I don't spend in the bank.)
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:18 PM   #2
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NO !! Don't rip it up. There has got to be a way to negotiate this with your family.

Putting it in a bank account is a good idea, but try to convince your parents to let you take out "some" of it to make "worthy" purchases...

........

Don't know what else to say about this...
Just try to be convincing.
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:20 PM   #3
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I'd advise against such a course of action. If worst comes to worst, you'll have the money in the bank. Eventually it'll be yours to do as you see fit. I wouldn't recommend throwing that kind of money away, no matter how bad it seems now. It'd be worth waiting for, and it might come in handy later down the road.

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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:21 PM   #4
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Either tell her its your money, and you should be able to spend it as you see fit, or, half it. $500 on you, $500 in ze bank.
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:22 PM   #5
The Dopefish
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Quote:
Originally posted by Wolf Blackstar
Eventually it'll be yours to do as you see fit.
I forgot to mention: I can't take out money from my account; only my mother can.

Told you she can't trust me!
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:25 PM   #6
icest0rm
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Talking

Get some sort of mediator to settle this dispute...or better yet, take it to Judge Judy.
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:25 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by Wolf Blackstar
I'd advise against such a course of action. If worst comes to worst, you'll have the money in the bank. Eventually it'll be yours to do as you see fit. I wouldn't recommend throwing that kind of money away, no matter how bad it seems now. It'd be worth waiting for, and it might come in handy later down the road.

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I agree. This would be best.
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:26 PM   #8
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Immediate practical response:

Let all of it go stright into your bank account. I'm assuming that it is a bank account you have access to.


Throwing it away as an ultimatum makes sense... as an idea.

You saying what you've said lets me know that the problem runs very deep. Throwing away the cash is not going to solve it.


Now I don't know what your home situation is ...[OK I know that there was a thread in which you have been adopted by QAPete, but apart from that ....]

I'd be tempted to try to deal with the problem.


[Sorry, m8 ... i think I'm having a bad night ... can't think straight]




I know that my strongest concern is ...

the following worst case scenario would be to lose out on nice stuff becasue you've thrown it away because somebody has attached a rotten message to it. Like an e-mail that has two attachments ... one is an invitation to something nice. And the other is a virus.

That money is yours. There's a lot of stuff you have done in your life that is yours. It's tempting to say 'Right then ... stuff the lot ... to hell with it. The end result is usually that you lose and they don't actually get the message. In my experience of parents, they see the ultimatum as a demonstration by the offspring that the parent was right all the time.



back to the practical stuff ...


I assumed at the beginnin of the post that once you've put the money in your account then you can do what you want with it.

i might be incorrect.

in which case, then maybe LEVERAGE ...

Are there things that you might wabnt to get for yourself or for others ... including those relatives who think that you should be able to do what you want with it .... that it would be obviously bad and silly of her to try to say no to? As long as it is stuff tht you actually want to get, then any attempts by her to put the stoppers on it would show her in the kind of light that might get others in the family to have a word with her.

And it's near Christmas ... so ther could be good reasons for getting people stuff.


I can't think much more. but I'll reiterate ... I think that money IS yours, to do what you want with and that it is a shame that she's not yet giving you the credit to have the responsibility to do make your own mistakes and your own good stuff and to learn from both,

Best wishes
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:27 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Dopefish


I forgot to mention: I can't take out money from my account; only my mother can.

Told you she can't trust me!
PS .... Just saw this after i submitted my post
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:30 PM   #10
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Zenda, good stuff.

The way I see it, this is pretty much like winning the lottery. Most people who win the lotto will spend the money on some stuff, maybe buy their loved ones something, than huck it in the bank. That's really what I hope to do.
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:30 PM   #11
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:36 PM   #12
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I dont think tearing it up would prove that you are careful with money...

rather the opposite actually..
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:42 PM   #13
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well if you get 1k in dough and can't spend it, then there is no use having it.
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:45 PM   #14
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When faced with this situation, do what I do. Send a self addressed, stamped envelope containing winning game peice to CHRYSt.

Actually, what I would do if it was my mom doing it would be to rip up an envelope you made yourself, then mail the gamepeice with a P.O. box return addy, so your moms gots no say.

She'll think you're selling drugs when you come home with a Game Cube and Xbox in the same week.
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Old 20th Nov 2001, 09:47 PM   #15
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Well, good luck to you


I suddenly realised what got my blood flowing with your post ...

try this for size ...


I was about 14.

Woodwork ... making things out of wood. really liked doing this. So I wanted to get a Black and Decker power drill.

BooYah ... It felt really good to be saving up for it. I had my future woked out. Get the drill. that's the central hub. From then I could save up for the relatively inexpenseive sanding attachments and stuff.

Dad say that I was saving up and said 'Well done. I think you are being very responsible. I know that you are saving up spends. So what i will do will go halves with you. I will put up the other half of the money.



Sounds good?


... just a little longer ....


So I saaved up my half and then comes the BIG DAY .... off to the BIG CITY ... make a BIG DAY OUT of it.

We get the drill. I'm so proud.

We get home ... I reach for the ... MY drill.

Dad goes and puts it in his cupboard that HE has the KEY to and says that '

'Of course it's your drill ... but it's a dangerous thing and that I must use it under supervision because I am too young. and that I only had to ask and it would be ok'

BOLLUHX

Can I use my drill

What do you want it for?

To do x ...

Why do you need the drill to do x?

Because Y

When you're my age you'll realise you dont need to use a drill when because Y. it's a good thing I made it so you have to ask me in order to use the drill or you might never have learnt that you did not need to use it in this instance.

BUT BUT BUT !!!!!!

Oh are you shouting ... that's very childish of you. See how I was right NOT to let you use the drill or to be able to get to it at a whiim.





Yeh ... very best of luck to you.

Forgive me for going on a rant ...

I feel for ya.

Not being trusted by a parent REALLY Sux.
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Old 21st Nov 2001, 04:39 AM   #16
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dammit, that sucks....

When I was 12-15, I was happily playing around with large knives, axes etc with no problem at all.... sounds like you guys have really restrictive parents....

Dopefish ... how old are you? Could you open another account which you sign for instead of your folks?

What's a Taco Bell anyway, and how do you get money for one?
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Old 21st Nov 2001, 04:56 AM   #17
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Taco Bell is a chain of Mexican fast food restuarants (like MaccyD's) - have you not seen Demolishion Man?

Dopey: you obviously didn't plan to win the money, so put it in a saving account/college fund if you have one. That way you'll have more money to spend on women when you get there
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Old 21st Nov 2001, 05:18 AM   #18
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Just tell your parents that you are a young adult now, and tell them that the money wasn't in your plans for the future before, so it doesn't matter if you use some now. it's not like you said "right, i need to win $1000 for my future" or anything.
Also, say to them "What would you do if you won say $10,000?" i say 10,000 as 1000 to parents is nothing and would be gone in seconds with things like mortgages and such.
Just explain that you only want to treat yourself to a few small things, and that you will invest the rest of it yourself, in a savings account, but i advise you open your own savings account for it
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Old 21st Nov 2001, 07:21 AM   #19
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By now, you've probably reached a solution. But just in case: You could try and threaten her with ripping up the envelope, but if it comes to that, make damn sure you rip up a fake. I couldn't figure out exactly what you have from either of your posts (a scratchcard?), but if there's nothing you could photocopy, you could try burning an empty envelope, or flushing it down the toilet. Anything that won't leave remains.

Sounds nice to rip up your $1000 on principle, but bloody stupid in the long run

If you're set on threatening to rip up the envelope, that's what I recommend, but personally I'd negotiate - half in the bank, half for you, whatever. If you're going to try to negotiate, remember that you can always go down, but never back up.
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Old 21st Nov 2001, 07:47 AM   #20
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It's amazing what a little sleep and sound understanding that you've won an argument will do for a person. Obviously, we're making a big deal out of something I don't have yet, and making plans with money you don't have could end up blowing up in your face. Obviously, since I have no initial plans for the money (it is a check, anyway), and since Christmas is right around the corner, I'm going to plop it in the bank first. It's too bad interest rates are so low these days (2% ), but at least I'll have the money from this, whatever money I get from Christmas, and money from my birthday (February 3) all in one nice, neat, little place for me to dive into this spring.
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