NewsUnrealEdFilesModsFragBULiandri Archives
BeyondUnreal Forums

Go Back   BeyondUnreal Forums > BeyondUnreal > Off Topic

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 15th Aug 2012, 03:45 AM   #1
Zur
surrealistic mad cow
 
Zur's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul. 8th, 2002
Posts: 11,587
We haven't had a topic like this in a while...

There is nothing more satisfying than dumping a log. However, for some of us this is a remote possibility as the big job often ends up as some exploded mess on the inside of a toilet bowl. So what's your secret for solid poop ?
__________________

Zur is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 04:00 AM   #2
Trynant
Manic Brawler
 
Trynant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan. 31st, 2002
Location: Quiet Island
Posts: 2,011
Easy answer

Attached Images
File Type: png Fiber Craze.PNG (137.5 KB, 137 views)
__________________
"I go where the games are." -Scott Ramsoomair
my playing blog; my opinions blog

Trynant is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 04:25 AM   #3
Big-Al
amateur de bière
 
Big-Al's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun. 14th, 2003
Location: Under a black flag.
Posts: 8,043
beer helps
__________________


I drink moosepiss
Big-Al is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 05:30 AM   #4
[GU]elmur_fud
I have balls of Depleted Uranium
 
[GU]elmur_fud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar. 15th, 2005
Location: Waco, Texas
Posts: 2,753
1 of these will do it and shockingly they taste good.
http://www.worthingtonfoods.com/prod...px?product=279
http://www.worthingtonfoods.com/prod...px?product=214
http://www.worthingtonfoods.com/prod...px?product=269
http://www.worthingtonfoods.com/prod...px?product=368
http://www.worthingtonfoods.com/prod...px?product=415
http://www.worthingtonfoods.com/prod...px?product=372
http://www.morningstarfarms.com/morn...age-links.html

Nice and firm but not so hard you chip the bowl when it drops.
__________________
In the original unity of the first things lies the secondary cause of all things, with the germ of their inevitable annihilation. ~ Edgar Allan Poe
[GU]elmur_fud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 06:46 AM   #5
BillyBadAss
Strong Cock of The North
 
BillyBadAss's Avatar
 
Join Date: May. 25th, 1999
Location: Tokyo, JP
Posts: 8,666
Not eating fast food will solve your problem. If you think this is not an option you should kill yourself.
__________________
MySpace | Flickr | LastFM | Google+



When I’m watching the news and my daughter walks in and choose to ask. “Why were all those people on the floor, sleeping, covered in red?” I told her, that they were looking for God, but found religion instead.
– De La Soul


There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. -Raoul Duke
BillyBadAss is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:08 AM   #6
[GU]elmur_fud
I have balls of Depleted Uranium
 
[GU]elmur_fud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar. 15th, 2005
Location: Waco, Texas
Posts: 2,753
INPOOPITABLY
__________________
In the original unity of the first things lies the secondary cause of all things, with the germ of their inevitable annihilation. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Last edited by [GU]elmur_fud; 15th Aug 2012 at 09:48 AM.
[GU]elmur_fud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 09:46 AM   #7
YellowFive
Baconstrips
 
YellowFive's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug. 7th, 2012
Location: Tacoma, Wa
Posts: 31
Cheese. Always cheese.

It's like firing a torpedo from a Virginia Class submarine. Swift and deadly.
__________________
poop
YellowFive is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 10:11 AM   #8
Firefly
United Kingdom is not a country.
 
Firefly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb. 20th, 2000
Location: Bucks, England - Nowhere near Europe
Posts: 4,860
Firefly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 11:50 AM   #9
DeathBooger
Sparkle Magic
 
DeathBooger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep. 16th, 2004
Posts: 1,860
It's rather retarded to think you have to eat something special to poop normally. All you have to do is eat a balanced diet, not some processed empty promise in a box.
__________________
74 68 65 20 66 75 63 6b 20 79 6f 75 20 6c 6f 6f 6b 69 6e 67 20 61 74 3f
DeathBooger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 12:39 PM   #10
theabyss
No One Here Gets Out Alive
 
theabyss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec. 3rd, 2005
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,654
Sleep!
Eat, go to sleep, wake up, drink coffee (important!), wait about 2 hours, then take a dump. Good poop has to ripen.

Def.: ripe:

...fully grown and developed
...brought by aging to full flavor or the best state
__________________
no

Last edited by theabyss; 15th Aug 2012 at 07:44 PM. Reason: Thanx [GU]elmur_fud
theabyss is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th Aug 2012, 07:40 PM   #11
[GU]elmur_fud
I have balls of Depleted Uranium
 
[GU]elmur_fud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar. 15th, 2005
Location: Waco, Texas
Posts: 2,753
Quote:
Originally Posted by theabyss View Post
Sleep!
Eat, go to sleep, wake up, drink coffee (important!), wait about 2 hours, then take a dump. Good poop has to ripe.

Def.: ripe:

...fully grown and developed
...brought by aging to full flavor or the best state
You need the verb form of the word ripe. Which is of course... "ripen" ... just sayin'
__________________
In the original unity of the first things lies the secondary cause of all things, with the germ of their inevitable annihilation. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Last edited by [GU]elmur_fud; 16th Aug 2012 at 08:53 AM.
[GU]elmur_fud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 02:59 AM   #12
Gir
Offensive mode!
 
Gir's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr. 23rd, 2000
Location: Peking Eend.
Posts: 5,555
Quote:
So what's your secret for solid poop ?
__________________

I can smell your ausfahrts..
bring DeeperShade
.. back to life!
Gir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 08:59 AM   #13
HugoMarques
☆☆☆☆☆
 
HugoMarques's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec. 14th, 2010
Location: Portugal
Posts: 517
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zur View Post
There is nothing more satisfying than dumping a log.
Agreed. Especially when the log falls right in the middle of the toilet and the resulting splashing water hits and caresses your balls. Best moment of your day right there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zur View Post
So what's your secret for solid poop ?
Simple. Stop eating crap and you'll start dumping better crap.
HugoMarques is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 09:40 AM   #14
Rambowjo
Das Protoss
 
Rambowjo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug. 3rd, 2005
Location: Tapeland
Posts: 4,935
My diet is not the secret.
__________________
Rambowjo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 10:49 AM   #15
Firefly
United Kingdom is not a country.
 
Firefly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb. 20th, 2000
Location: Bucks, England - Nowhere near Europe
Posts: 4,860
Quote:
Originally Posted by theabyss View Post
Sleep!
Eat, go to sleep, wake up, drink coffee (important!), wait about 2 hours, then take a dump. Good poop has to ripen.

Def.: ripe:

...fully grown and developed
...brought by aging to full flavor or the best state
Now you need to change the definition of "ripe" to "ripen" as it is different.

rip·en (rpn)

To make or become ripe or riper; mature. See Synonyms at mature.
Firefly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 12:25 PM   #16
[GU]elmur_fud
I have balls of Depleted Uranium
 
[GU]elmur_fud's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar. 15th, 2005
Location: Waco, Texas
Posts: 2,753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zur View Post
There is nothing more satisfying than dumping a log. However, for some of us this is a remote possibility as the big job often ends up as some exploded mess on the inside of a toilet bowl. So what's your secret for solid poop ?
Solid poop is an admirable start but I think you should aim a bit higher. I personally am working toward being able to crack the bowl, the splash should get the feet wet of people in neighboring stalls, The smell should make eyes water and paint peel.

Someday I hope to be able cause a mass exodus from the bathroom merely by the sound and anybody who enters the bathroom for the next hour should be immediately caused to seriously consider just how bad they really need to go.

Of course the holy grail of defecation is to be able to cause a has-mat situation at the sewage treatment facility! To cause the national guard to evacuate the area! To rot and decay anything living downwind from your rectum! Children caught in small eddies off the main swath of carnage would have there growth stunted! Just a small whiff would ruin the taste of food for a month! Faux News would proclaim Armageddon! We're talking serious ****.
__________________
In the original unity of the first things lies the secondary cause of all things, with the germ of their inevitable annihilation. ~ Edgar Allan Poe
[GU]elmur_fud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 12:56 PM   #17
Big-Al
amateur de bière
 
Big-Al's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun. 14th, 2003
Location: Under a black flag.
Posts: 8,043
I just did a ****.

It worked.
__________________


I drink moosepiss
Big-Al is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 02:22 PM   #18
NeoNite
Breadlike...
 
NeoNite's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec. 10th, 2000
Posts: 18,609
Stop eating your cat's food Zur.
__________________

The trees that whisper in the evening
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Sing a song of sorrow and grieving
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun
Far away on the other side.
He was shot six times by a man on the run
And she couldn't find how to push through
NeoNite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th Aug 2012, 06:40 PM   #19
AMmayhem
Mayhem is everywhere
 
AMmayhem's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov. 3rd, 2001
Location: NaliCity, MI
Posts: 4,712
My secret for solid poo? Just like separate pieces of Play-Doh, just scoop it all up squeeze them together into one solid log...
__________________
Nali City's official AMmayhem

<AMmayhem> howdy all
* Rukee waves
<AMmayhem> that had better been all 5 fingers...
<Rukee> oh-you thought I was waving my hand, okay.
<AMmayhem> well, someone your age, all the wrinkles blend together, making it hard to decipher what part of the body is being waved.....
<AMmayhem> o_O
<MassChAoS> ouch
<Rukee> owned :P
AMmayhem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20th Aug 2012, 04:23 PM   #20
tomcat ha
Registered User
 
tomcat ha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb. 2nd, 2002
Posts: 2,480
my secret for solid poop is dehydration
__________________
Support the Crimean Khanate
tomcat ha is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
elmur_fud correcting grammar lol

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:34 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Copyright ©1998 - 2012, BeyondUnreal, Inc.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
Bandwidth provided by AtomicGamer