Zero Punctuation Reviews: Turok

*hal* · 21st Mar 2008, 10:20 PM

Yahtzee reviews Turok. Not safe for work, of course.

fuegerstef · 21st Mar 2008, 10:43 PM

Funny, but spot on.

«BuA»Lurker_71 · 21st Mar 2008, 11:51 PM

That was hilarious.

Kamin · 22nd Mar 2008, 12:00 AM

Well, Hell. That made me want to run out and not buy Turok. Not that I was going to, but at least that reinforced my lack of impulse to do so. Well done.

NitrousUser · 22nd Mar 2008, 12:15 AM

lol I love his reviews. I don't take them all that into heart, but you know, they're hella entertaining.

Capt.Toilet · 22nd Mar 2008, 01:58 AM

And that is why I am waiting for the pc version to come out. Im a huge Turok fan since the N64 days, but by god the controls leave little to be desired. If CoD4 could pull off smooth controls on the console, why cant Turok.

Adelheid · 22nd Mar 2008, 04:10 AM

I see nobody is complaining about the subtle hint that Gears of War is nothing more than a Halo clone...

That was a good point about the controls, but I am perplexed by his failure to mention the growing trend to have the "look stick" inverted by default, so when you push up you look down.

Zarniwoop · 22nd Mar 2008, 05:17 AM

It's a shame, when Turok was first announced I was so pleased, but the finished result is nothing like what I hoped for.

Jrubzjeknf · 22nd Mar 2008, 05:18 AM

Bloody funny, as always.

The video enhances everything that's said again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kamin

Well, Hell. That made me want to run out and not buy Turok. Not that I was going to, but at least that reinforced my lack of impulse to do so. Well done.

His reviews aren't exactly reviews though.

Its all entertainment.

[VaLkyR]Assassin · 22nd Mar 2008, 06:34 AM

Hehe, I look forward to his "reviews".

os][ris · 22nd Mar 2008, 07:53 AM

That was awesome...

UBerserker · 22nd Mar 2008, 07:56 AM

The review is ownage. Thanks to God we have this guy.

Retodon8 · 22nd Mar 2008, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fokker

That was a good point about the controls, but I am perplexed by his failure to mention the growing trend to have the "look stick" inverted by default, so when you push up you look down.

That video was very entertaining, but hardly so in depth that it should mention a tiny "issue" like that.
If you ask me, pushing the stick forward you should make you look down, just like it does in real life, with machines like airplanes and of course actual humans, or whatever else has a head.
(If you tilt your head backward and end up looking down... go see a doctor!)
DN3D had it right calling the alternative "inverted", Quake did not.
Still, I just correct it for whatever game I just started playing once, and never even think about it again.

Hardly suitable material for this video, which again, I found very amusing.
The new Turok didn't seem like it'd be bad, the videos of gibs looked cool, but it wasn't very attractive to me overall.
Reviews such as this don't help making me want to pick it up.

elmuerte · 22nd Mar 2008, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Retodon8

If you ask me, pushing the stick forward you should make you look down, just like it does in real life, with machines like airplanes and of course actual humans, or whatever else has a head.
(If you tilt your head backward and end up looking down... go see a doctor!)

"forward", meet "up". "up", this is "forward"
you know, you guys look a lot a like, are you twins?

SleepyHe4d · 22nd Mar 2008, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fokker

I see nobody is complaining about the subtle hint that Gears of War is nothing more than a Halo clone...

Cept for the fact that the gameplay is as far away from Halo's gameplay as possible?

Kantham · 22nd Mar 2008, 09:30 AM

I guess I smiled once.

Deapblade · 22nd Mar 2008, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elmuerte

"forward", meet "up". "up", this is "forward"
you know, you guys look a lot a like, are you twins?

ROFL
I agree with Elmuerte that I prefer to play inverted, but I think that is because we are used to playing PC games like this. Retodon8 is right that for a lot of people like to play not inverted and it is also more logical. That is the reason they do it like this in cranes.

toniglandyl · 22nd Mar 2008, 10:24 AM

entertaining. dunno if it's accurate, but it's fun.
oh and portal (AKA the best game ever) has no life bar

virgo47 · 22nd Mar 2008, 11:06 AM

Cool. ;-) Not that I was rofling my whole house, because it was actually sadly accurate (talking about general stuff, like brown/yellow colors, etc). I was just wondering when the hell that man catches his breath?

Bit difficult to catch all things for non-native speaker though. But cool.

Capt.Toilet · 22nd Mar 2008, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kantham

I guess I smiled once.

I assume the only thing that would please you would be a double D hooker with dsl's and a passion for free sex then? Or at least I hope I'm right

21st Mar 2008, 10:20 PM	#1
hal Dictator Join Date: Nov. 24th, 1998 Location: -------> Posts: 21,340	Zero Punctuation Reviews: Turok Yahtzee reviews Turok. Not safe for work, of course. __________________

21st Mar 2008, 11:51 PM	#3
«BuA»Lurker_71 Thë Möñkëÿ Kïñg Join Date: Dec. 15th, 2002 Location: Wha? Posts: 2,191	That was hilarious. __________________ Friedrich Nietzsche; Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process, he does not become a monster.

22nd Mar 2008, 12:15 AM	#5
NitrousUser [BuF]JinxyBoi Join Date: Apr. 23rd, 2004 Location: Yigo, Guam Posts: 170	lol I love his reviews. I don't take them all that into heart, but you know, they're hella entertaining. __________________ I like UT3. And rainbows. And jelly beans. You should too.

22nd Mar 2008, 04:10 AM	#7
Adelheid Bernstein Join Date: Jan. 23rd, 2008 Location: Nowhere. Posts: 1,027	I see nobody is complaining about the subtle hint that Gears of War is nothing more than a Halo clone... That was a good point about the controls, but I am perplexed by his failure to mention the growing trend to have the "look stick" inverted by default, so when you push up you look down. __________________ "So, it's defeat for you, is it? Someday I must meet a similar fate..."

22nd Mar 2008, 05:17 AM	#8
Zarniwoop is cool Join Date: Jan. 20th, 2008 Location: Ceredigion, UK Posts: 1,402	It's a shame, when Turok was first announced I was so pleased, but the finished result is nothing like what I hoped for. __________________

21st Mar 2008, 10:43 PM	#2
fuegerstef Registered User Join Date: Nov. 7th, 2003 Location: KillingRoom Posts: 667	Funny, but spot on.

22nd Mar 2008, 12:00 AM	#4
Kamin Unreal Zealot Join Date: Jan. 20th, 2008 Posts: 6	Well, Hell. That made me want to run out and not buy Turok. Not that I was going to, but at least that reinforced my lack of impulse to do so. Well done.

22nd Mar 2008, 06:34 AM	#10
[VaLkyR]Assassin Kidneythieves and Blind Guardian Fan Join Date: Jan. 20th, 2008 Location: Blackpool, England, UK Posts: 434	Hehe, I look forward to his "reviews". __________________ VaLkyR Forums My Xfire Profile Xfire Clan Profile

22nd Mar 2008, 07:53 AM	#11
os][ris Registered User Join Date: May. 10th, 2006 Posts: 210	That was awesome...

22nd Mar 2008, 09:30 AM	#16
Kantham Fool. Join Date: Sep. 17th, 2004 Posts: 17,940	I guess I smiled once. __________________

22nd Mar 2008, 10:24 AM	#18
toniglandyl internal data fragmentation : 62203480% Join Date: Jan. 20th, 2006 Posts: 2,852	entertaining. dunno if it's accurate, but it's fun. oh and portal (AKA the best game ever) has no life bar __________________

22nd Mar 2008, 11:06 AM	#19
virgo47 Waiting for next UT Join Date: Jul. 5th, 2005 Location: Bratislava, Slovakia Posts: 428	Cool. ;-) Not that I was rofling my whole house, because it was actually sadly accurate (talking about general stuff, like brown/yellow colors, etc). I was just wondering when the hell that man catches his breath? Bit difficult to catch all things for non-native speaker though. But cool. __________________ Much more important than the actual things we do are inducements that lead us to these things... Pity, that the way to the hell is paved with good intentions. My mapping \| UT3 Level Design Wiki \| My Blog \| Carpe Imperium

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