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Old 19th Jan 2004, 10:27 PM   #1
QUALTHWAR
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Exclamation My Birthday Wish List

Iíll be 46 this Thursday. Hereís a list of things you people can get for me:

A helicopter so I donít have to worry about traffic

A life-sized Barney doll

A supermodelís phone number

A turtle

Retractable pants for my turtle

$1,000,000 in cash. Non-sequential, unmarked bills

Penis enlargement equipment

Underwear that looks good on my head as well as my ass

One bowling shoe, size 12, right side

$73 dollars in pennies

A pardon by the Japanese mafia

A T-shirt that reads: ďStop Staring At Me; Iím Neurotic!Ē

4 gallons of non-flavored ice cream

A brainwave keyboard so I donít have to type

Chocolate and nylons

Any type of wild animal

Lard

Pirate clothing

And last but not least, a compass that goes all the way up to 361 degrees
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

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A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 19th Jan 2004, 10:29 PM   #2
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1 used lifesize Brittany doll on the way...


edit.....ooppss, sorry I'm not into Barney...:/
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Old 19th Jan 2004, 10:40 PM   #3
QUALTHWAR
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"Used?"
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

Homer: "Marge, Iím pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."

A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 19th Jan 2004, 11:42 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QUALTHWAR
Iíll be 46 this Thursday. Hereís a list of things you people can get for me:

A life-sized Barney doll

Penis enlargement equipment
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<AMmayhem> howdy all
* Rukee waves
<AMmayhem> that had better been all 5 fingers...
<Rukee> oh-you thought I was waving my hand, okay.
<AMmayhem> well, someone your age, all the wrinkles blend together, making it hard to decipher what part of the body is being waved.....
<AMmayhem> o_O
<MassChAoS> ouch
<Rukee> owned :P
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 12:18 AM   #5
QUALTHWAR
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What?
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

Homer: "Marge, Iím pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."

A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 12:25 AM   #6
AMmayhem
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It's scarey to think that that's your mid-life crisis...
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<AMmayhem> howdy all
* Rukee waves
<AMmayhem> that had better been all 5 fingers...
<Rukee> oh-you thought I was waving my hand, okay.
<AMmayhem> well, someone your age, all the wrinkles blend together, making it hard to decipher what part of the body is being waved.....
<AMmayhem> o_O
<MassChAoS> ouch
<Rukee> owned :P
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 12:33 AM   #7
QUALTHWAR
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I can't afford a red sports car, so i'll have to settle for stuff on the list.
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

Homer: "Marge, Iím pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."

A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 12:58 AM   #8
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Come on, guys! Lets all go in halves.
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Liberalism should be banned.

Jesus pwnz

I kid proofed the whole house but they still get in!

I'm mentioning oosyxxx here as a thank you for mentioning me in his sig. I DO feel better.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 07:51 AM   #9
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I was gonna get you the compass...but my evil plan to squish the Earth vertically by increasing it's rate of spin and thus increase it's girth by 1 degree was thwarted by minions from Weight-Watchers...it seems this would have lowered the gravitational pull at the equator through centrifugal force, causing a sudden loss of weight for millions resulting in lower sales...but don't worry...I have ninja snipers stalking their cheif executive officers...soon....very soon...
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 08:58 AM   #10
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if i had ONE wish for my birthday... it would be for all the children of the world, to join hands and sing.

If i had TWO wishes for the world, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing, and a check for one million dollars, tax free, payable to me, every month...

remember the steve martin thing?
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 12:05 PM   #11
QUALTHWAR
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That was a classic. Old SNL.
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

Homer: "Marge, Iím pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."

A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 01:26 PM   #12
OO7MIKE
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Nice list!

My birthday is next month...so take close attention:



A clock that goes up to 13'o clock

A Money making machine that spits out as little as "a dollar a day"

A lobby in my house full of virgins so when i walk by they all giggle at me

A very large Pirate ship with holes blown in the sides

A "half" a cup of coffee (split in the middle)

300 gallons of fake snow

A refrigerator that has an endless supply of V8 and Popsicles
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 01:59 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OO7MIKE
A lobby in my house full of virgins so when i walk by they all giggle at me
Why not whores? They know what they're doing after all.
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Nali City's official AMmayhem

<AMmayhem> howdy all
* Rukee waves
<AMmayhem> that had better been all 5 fingers...
<Rukee> oh-you thought I was waving my hand, okay.
<AMmayhem> well, someone your age, all the wrinkles blend together, making it hard to decipher what part of the body is being waved.....
<AMmayhem> o_O
<MassChAoS> ouch
<Rukee> owned :P
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 02:35 PM   #14
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But you can't break them and make them scream for daddy and have them cry afterwards.

err...

Just think Q, you were in your early 40s when you came here... no longer...
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<NiNo> UT2k4

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Old 20th Jan 2004, 02:54 PM   #15
QUALTHWAR
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BangOut
But you can't break them and make them scream for daddy and have them cry afterwards.

err...

Just think Q, you were in your early 40s when you came here... no longer...
Yes, I know. In April, Iíll be here 4 years. I went from being in my early 40ís to mid 40ís to late 40ís. We need a special forum for us geriatrics. We can talk about denture cream and prostate problems.
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

Homer: "Marge, Iím pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."

A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 03:06 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cactus
if i had ONE wish for my birthday... it would be for all the children of the world, to join hands and sing.

If i had TWO wishes for the world, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing, and a check for one million dollars, tax free, payable to me, every month...

remember the steve martin thing?

CLASSIC!!!
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Liberalism should be banned.

Jesus pwnz

I kid proofed the whole house but they still get in!

I'm mentioning oosyxxx here as a thank you for mentioning me in his sig. I DO feel better.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 03:47 PM   #17
QUALTHWAR
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Steve was one of those people that made you laugh just by the look on his face. The Jerk was funny. I loved the part where the sniper was shooting at him at the gas station and hitting the oil cans.

"He hates the cans! Stay away from the cans!" Lol!
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

Homer: "Marge, Iím pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."

A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 04:15 PM   #18
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I'm gonna have to go find that movie and watch it again. I was too young when it came out and could not appreciate it.
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Liberalism should be banned.

Jesus pwnz

I kid proofed the whole house but they still get in!

I'm mentioning oosyxxx here as a thank you for mentioning me in his sig. I DO feel better.
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Old 20th Jan 2004, 04:27 PM   #19
QUALTHWAR
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I only remember bits and pieces of it. I think that was the movie where he thought he was a poor black child. At the end, he's leaving his home and he starts by taking a chair with him, or something. "All i need is this chair." Then he grabs something else and all he needs is the chair and that, then the chair that and that, and he just keeps going.

He writes a letter back home telling his family that he met a girl and has found some work. He said "work" because the lady said she would give him a blow "job." He was like a real-life Homer Simpson. Dumb as hell.
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Qualthwar: "Friends don't let friends map drunk."

Homer: "Marge, Iím pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."

A quitter never wins, and donít trust whitey.
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Old 22nd Jan 2004, 11:09 AM   #20
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Thumbs up

Happy Q-day B! Uhh I mean...Happy B-day Q.
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Last edited by Reign; 25th Nov 2005 at 06:11 PM.
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