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Old 28th Aug 2003, 09:22 AM   #1
Stilgar
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slowly...being..re...programmed.....UUURGHAABLeaurgh (big blurb about stuff)

So I got this new job... I work in a 24-hour photoprocessing centre. Each night the courier bags come in packed with films from all over the province. Hundreds and hundreds of films... thousands of pictures... and we get to print them all. Weeeeeeee

At first the job was boring, then it was slightly interesting, and then came.... the sorting job.

The sorter has to check the quality of each and every film printed on the optical printing machine, match the film with the right negatives, cut the negs, and then pack the negs and the prints.

First off the sorter grabs the finished prints off of the nearest shelf (all the prints come out of the printer on shelves which move down a notch each time a new film is printed) They then have to speed flick through the prints to check for scratches and discolourations. If a pic is spolied it goes back for a reprint. There is only one sorter for the main printing machine, and the printer is hella fast, so the sorter has to work hella fast to... non stop, or the shelves will all fill up and prints will spill out into a plastic tub (very bad news) The sorter spots similar defects in all the prints almost subconciously. Improper negative masking, dust inside the printer. Over/under exposure, etc. All are spotted in the blink of an eye.

I started sorting on a regular basis about two weeks ago, and I tells ya, it's ****ing with my mind. Imagine the kind of subliminal adverts that used to be used in movie theaters.... coke bottles, sweets.... and Fight Club style porn shots etc.. Add in around 7 to 10 thousand images of everyday life from all ****ing levels of society. This is subliminal suggestion on speed (don't ask me what it's suggesting, yet)

I have to flick through a whole film in about 10-15 seconds, depending on the film size. If I get a big film order I'll see around 72 random images in just over 15 seconds. In about 5 minutes I'll see around 100-300 random images.

It's not often I've gone to a job and felt truly disturbed, humoured and confused, within the space of 10 minutes.

New born photos and 2.5 children families are the most common photo fodder. Coming in a close second is the touristy stuff. Then you've got the upper class family and white collar worker parties. Beer bongs, dope smoking, groping, nudity, they'e got it all. It's a strange feeling seeing someone who could easily be the head manager of my workplace lighting up a cone in the one photo, and then seeing her again in the next photo looking ****ing FSL. The degenerate student films are good for a laugh, but they lack substance. See a guy drink from a beer bong... puke his innards out... then flip off the camera, all in generic student party style.

One thing I've learned(stereotyped) from sorting is that females are dirtier than guys when drunk. These bitches are flashing left right and center, and it's so not cool when she's over 50 and her nipples are like tea plates in size. The teens I can handle. The hot young ones flashing boob and muff at the camera keep me from dying of boredom on the long nights.

The porn is rare, as is the full frontal super old guy who is nude look at my ****ing disgusting wrinkled old cock photos. But, they are there. Just tonight I spotted some middle aged woman spreading out her labia right infront of the camera. Why god, why?
Doesn't she realise that someone has to endure seeing her ugly face and wrinkly ***** all in the one photo?

.....

The massive 12 inch ribbed dildo masher film took a trip around the whole office before it was finally packed. Until that night, I had never before seen middle aged women giggle at amatuer hardcore bondage pornography. They shoved the film under my nose and then teased me when I blushed at the site of another middle aged woman ramming a massive dildo up her own backside. Damnit.

Ya know....old men go into the bush(forest) and carve big dildos out of fruit and then put sunglasses on said fruit and then take pictures of the phallic fruit just to freak me the **** out

Saucy highschool girls fondle each other in the school hallways to mock my lack of sex life.

A 4 year old flipped me off. That little ****head, where is his mother? Oh, she's in the next set of photos winking her boobies at me

o_o

You havn't seen it all until you've seen a funeral for two still-born babies who look like mutants from a sci-fi movie. Poor bastards :(

There must be thousands of other bizarre photos lurking in my memory now. Reinforcing stereotypes, creating new ones. Making me horny, making me sad. All this for minium wage.

This job rules. (in a maybe I don't know yet kinda way)
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Old 28th Aug 2003, 10:39 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stilgar
The massive 12 inch ribbed dildo masher film took a trip around the whole office before it was finally packed. Until that night, I had never before seen middle aged women giggle at amatuer hardcore bondage pornography. They shoved the film under my nose and then teased me when I blushed at the site of another middle aged woman ramming a massive dildo up her own backside. Damnit.

Ya know....old men go into the bush(forest) and carve big dildos out of fruit and then put sunglasses on said fruit and then take pictures of the phallic fruit just to freak me the **** out

Saucy highschool girls fondle each other in the school hallways to mock my lack of sex life.
rofl, I can't believe people think their photos won't be seen. I've always been quite careful with what I use film for.
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Old 28th Aug 2003, 02:39 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nachimir
rofl, I can't believe people think their photos won't be seen. I've always been quite careful with what I use film for.
ditto...
If your gonna do dirty stuff in pictures... either have:
a)a photo development lab at home
or
b)a digicam
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 12:31 AM   #4
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The job would drive me mental I think... the porn I am immune to after working the porn shop... but I could not handle the dead babies.. People get a ****ing digital camera for that ****!
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 08:05 AM   #5
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I just had a Clockwork Orange flashback.
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 09:59 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by JTRipper
I just had a Clockwork Orange flashback.
That was a wacked movie!!
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 10:33 AM   #7
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The only good movie Stanely Kubrick ever did was full metal jacket...

Clockwork orange was ok.

Eyes wide shut was just crazy. Lots of sex though.

Edit: I have never seen a Space Odessy.
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hey noob, I think I know what NC likes(at least a few and I'm just waiting for certain people to see this). At least you've been watching enough internet porn to be familiar with the ancient art of japan glazing virgin faces with their finest creams. Gives you a plus behind your name


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Old 29th Aug 2003, 03:16 PM   #8
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Edit: I have never seen a Space Odessy.
You should. You really should.
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 09:31 PM   #9
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I see a lot of skin at my job.
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 10:43 PM   #10
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Same here.....

O_o
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 10:43 PM   #11
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I didn't know that Eyes Wide Shut was Kubrick's fault, but what about The Shining?
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 11:02 PM   #12
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Cool

Quote:
Originally Posted by JTRipper
I didn't know that Eyes Wide Shut was Kubrick's fault, but what about The Shining?
Yep, Kubrick directed that too.
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Old 30th Aug 2003, 11:34 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JTRipper
I didn't know that Eyes Wide Shut was Kubrick's fault, but what about The Shining?
Scratch the comment about full metal jacket being my fav... ANd make that the shining.

Eyes wide shut was the last film made before he died... as a matter of fact I think he died in the middle of filming.
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hey noob, I think I know what NC likes(at least a few and I'm just waiting for certain people to see this). At least you've been watching enough internet porn to be familiar with the ancient art of japan glazing virgin faces with their finest creams. Gives you a plus behind your name


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Old 30th Aug 2003, 12:23 PM   #14
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That's a shame. From what I've seen of the movies he's had a part in I've found that he makes some darn good movies o_O
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