A good joke

Sebu_NZ · 23rd Jan 2002, 02:50 AM

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Arch-Angel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds "Look Michael, look what I've made." said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small land mass and said “What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills. The people from New Zealand are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance,
God? you said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting next to them. I call them Australians!!!"

2_SeeK_U · 23rd Jan 2002, 02:57 AM

yeah.........
Thats why us aussies beat you in cricket and rugby...

Oh and l think you forgot something, what about you new zealanders and sheep......

not bagging you personally...

deeznuts · 23rd Jan 2002, 03:10 AM

My Austranian best friend moved back to Austrania.

That's what I would call him. Geez, I miss him.

OICW · 23rd Jan 2002, 03:22 AM

Apparently God forgot to mention that for EXTRA balance, he made the NZ devoid of all the qualities they are supposed to have, and for further insult, made them sexually active with sheep

Oh and having 50 odd million sheep and 2 million people has to mean that something is seriously wrong with the Kiwi's limbido

Iceman · 25th Jan 2002, 01:37 AM

Nice one sebu

.

Iceman.

Sebu_NZ · 25th Jan 2002, 02:46 AM

I turn that frown upside down!

My work here is done

*poofs into a cloud of white smoke*

OICW · 25th Jan 2002, 03:59 AM

You magically "poofed" into a cloud of smoke?

Talk about being gei

23rd Jan 2002, 02:50 AM	#1
Sebu_NZ Kalashnikov's Personal Pimp! Join Date: Dec. 25th, 2000 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,758	A good joke Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Arch-Angel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds "Look Michael, look what I've made." said God. Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance." "Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small land mass and said “What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams, and hills. The people from New Zealand are going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found travelling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? you said there will be BALANCE!" God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting next to them. I call them Australians!!!" __________________

23rd Jan 2002, 03:10 AM	#3
deeznuts Pray for the blunted Join Date: Nov. 17th, 2001 Location: San Francisco, Ca Posts: 178	My Austranian best friend moved back to Austrania. That's what I would call him. Geez, I miss him. __________________ "Me fail English? That's unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum

23rd Jan 2002, 03:22 AM	#4
OICW Reason & Logic > Religion Join Date: Mar. 18th, 2000 Location: New South Wales, Sydney Australia Posts: 2,374	Apparently God forgot to mention that for EXTRA balance, he made the NZ devoid of all the qualities they are supposed to have, and for further insult, made them sexually active with sheep Oh and having 50 odd million sheep and 2 million people has to mean that something is seriously wrong with the Kiwi's limbido __________________ "If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America" - Nelson Mandela, at the International Women's Forum

25th Jan 2002, 01:37 AM	#5
Iceman Who Dares Wins Join Date: Oct. 6th, 1999 Location: Australia Posts: 1,013	Nice one sebu . Iceman. __________________ "Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive and don't ever appologize for anything." "There is no hunting like the hunting of men, those who have hunted them long enough and liked it, rarely have the taste for anything else."

25th Jan 2002, 02:46 AM	#6
Sebu_NZ Kalashnikov's Personal Pimp! Join Date: Dec. 25th, 2000 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,758	I turn that frown upside down! My work here is done poofs into a cloud of white smoke __________________

25th Jan 2002, 03:59 AM	#7
OICW Reason & Logic > Religion Join Date: Mar. 18th, 2000 Location: New South Wales, Sydney Australia Posts: 2,374	You magically "poofed" into a cloud of smoke? Talk about being gei __________________ "If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America" - Nelson Mandela, at the International Women's Forum

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode