Little Johnny in the first grade...

Danger_Dude · 17th Jan 2002, 12:44 PM

A first grade teacher was having trouble with little Johnny, who was one of her first grade students. He was constantly misbehaving during class. Finally, she held him after class one day.

The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!"

The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal.

The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."

The teacher, unconvinced this was the right action, said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Johnny both agreed.

Teacher: "What does a cow have four of, that I have only two of"?
Johnny: "Legs."

Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I do not have?"
(The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Johnny: "Pockets."

Teacher: "What does a dog do, that a man steps into?"
Johnny: "Pants."

Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could say anything, Johnny was taking charge.
Johnny: "Coconut."

Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky"?
Johnny: "Bubblegum."

Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs"? The principal's eyes again open wide, and before he could stop the answer...
Johnny: "Shake hands."

Teacher: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay"?
Johnny: "Okay."

Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down, to get me up. I get wet before you do".
Johnny: "A tent."

Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first". (Principal is looking restless and bit tense).
Johnny: "A wedding Ring."

Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good".
Johnny: "Nose."

Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver".
Johnny: "Arrow."

Teacher: "Last question. What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and means a lot of excitement"?
Johnny: "Firetruck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and told the teacher, "Put Johnny in the fifth grade---I got the last ten questions wrong myself!

6(sic)6 · 17th Jan 2002, 12:54 PM

HAHA they're great

namu · 17th Jan 2002, 12:55 PM

It sure is long, but worth it

Nemephosis · 17th Jan 2002, 12:58 PM

ROFLMAO!!!

Snipeo · 17th Jan 2002, 01:06 PM

Good ol' Johny

Stillborn · 17th Jan 2002, 01:06 PM

Wow!

/me whips another tear...

phatcat · 17th Jan 2002, 01:08 PM

LOL!!

questions only a innocent mind could answer

you ask that kid 6 years latter and see what comes out of his mouth!

<*)_>< · 17th Jan 2002, 02:05 PM

h3 Si TeH 5MaRt K1D !!!!!

The Dopefish · 17th Jan 2002, 02:13 PM

Johnny is one clever boy.

Arilakon · 18th Jan 2002, 04:34 AM

yeah, i got those answers wrong too!

Sam_The_Man · 18th Jan 2002, 05:19 AM

I thought the teacher would say 'There, he doesn't know nearly as much for third grade yet' at the end and set him back to first

Syri · 18th Jan 2002, 05:47 AM

ROFL!

gramps · 18th Jan 2002, 06:04 AM

LMAO! instant classic!

17th Jan 2002, 12:44 PM	#1
Danger_Dude Registered User Join Date: Feb. 15th, 2000 Location: That's a damn good question. Posts: 1,069	Little Johnny in the first grade... A first grade teacher was having trouble with little Johnny, who was one of her first grade students. He was constantly misbehaving during class. Finally, she held him after class one day. The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!" The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation to the principal. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Johnny: "9". Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36". And so it went with every question the principal thought a third grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade." The teacher, unconvinced this was the right action, said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions." The principal and Johnny both agreed. Teacher: "What does a cow have four of, that I have only two of"? Johnny: "Legs." Teacher: "What do you have in your pants that I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!) Johnny: "Pockets." Teacher: "What does a dog do, that a man steps into?" Johnny: "Pants." Teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could say anything, Johnny was taking charge. Johnny: "Coconut." Teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky"? Johnny: "Bubblegum." Teacher: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs"? The principal's eyes again open wide, and before he could stop the answer... Johnny: "Shake hands." Teacher: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay"? Johnny: "Okay." Teacher: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down, to get me up. I get wet before you do". Johnny: "A tent." Teacher: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first". (Principal is looking restless and bit tense). Johnny: "A wedding Ring." Teacher: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good". Johnny: "Nose." Teacher: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver". Johnny: "Arrow." Teacher: "Last question. What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and means a lot of excitement"? Johnny: "Firetruck." The principal breathed a sigh of relief, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and told the teacher, "Put Johnny in the fifth grade---I got the last ten questions wrong myself! __________________ Piss off a liberal - work hard, be happy, and own guns.

17th Jan 2002, 12:54 PM	#2
6(sic)6 CK Killer Join Date: Jan. 6th, 2001 Location: South Of Heaven Posts: 379	HAHA they're great __________________ 6(sic)6 Antichrist In The Name Of God "A war is when two* armies are fighting - so you see right there, it wasn't really a war..."* - Bill Hicks, on the 'Gulf War' -

17th Jan 2002, 12:55 PM	#3
namu Bleh. Join Date: Dec. 21st, 2000 Location: Dinae Mensa, Tharsis Regio Posts: 4,226	It sure is long, but worth it __________________ United we stand, divided we run free at last ! We are not at war with Intel. We have never been at war with Intel. -- S. Jobs

17th Jan 2002, 01:06 PM	#5
Snipeo Happy lil Camper Join Date: Jan. 10th, 2001 Location: #beyondunreal Sanity: [\|\|\|------] 23% Posts: 824	Good ol' Johny __________________ <Underscore> Your grasp of world politics impresses me, snipe - someday I aspire to be as acutely aware of ongoing events as you

17th Jan 2002, 01:06 PM	#6
Stillborn PHEAR IS JUST ANOTHER 4 LETTER WORD... Join Date: Oct. 14th, 2000 Location: Sweden Posts: 1,167	Wow! /me whips another tear... __________________ If you want peace, prepare for war..

17th Jan 2002, 12:58 PM	#4
Nemephosis lol Join Date: Aug. 10th, 2000 Posts: 7,516	ROFLMAO!!!

17th Jan 2002, 01:08 PM	#7
phatcat akward cat Join Date: Dec. 29th, 2000 Location: Houston, Tx. If sending hatemail... Paris, France Posts: 9,355	LOL!! questions only a innocent mind could answer you ask that kid 6 years latter and see what comes out of his mouth! __________________ Check out my new mod! SMOD: Tactical

17th Jan 2002, 02:05 PM	#8
<*)_>< Call me Karp Join Date: May. 7th, 2001 Location: Holland Posts: 3,523	h3 Si TeH 5MaRt K1D !!!!! __________________

17th Jan 2002, 02:13 PM	#9
The Dopefish 2008-09 Stanley Cup Champions. Join Date: Apr. 17th, 2000 Location: Springfield, MA, USA Posts: 8,228	Johnny is one clever boy. __________________

18th Jan 2002, 04:34 AM	#10
Arilakon <Insert Custom Title Here> Join Date: Dec. 4th, 2001 Location: I forgot. Posts: 61	yeah, i got those answers wrong too! __________________ My AVS's on Deviantart.com -

18th Jan 2002, 05:19 AM	#11
Sam_The_Man I am the Hugh Grant of Thatcherism Join Date: Mar. 26th, 2000 Location: England Posts: 5,793	I thought the teacher would say 'There, he doesn't know nearly as much for third grade yet' at the end and set him back to first

18th Jan 2002, 05:47 AM	#12
Syri Who are you calling short? Join Date: Aug. 18th, 2000 Location: Nottingham, England Posts: 4,577	ROFL! __________________ You wanna be a big cop in a small town? **** off down the model village!

18th Jan 2002, 06:04 AM	#13
gramps Join Date: Mar. 27th, 2000 Posts: 1,574	LMAO! instant classic! __________________ brutal. random. dangerous. \| carpe imperium <[Ci]Slag\|Work> its best to smile when traveling through flak spam so you can clean your teeth at the same time ;)

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