What Do you do while you poop?

Azura said:

If someone has the secret to making poops that leave hardly any skid marks, let me know.

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Eat more fiber. Seriously.

Nintendo DS.

Probably got some pornos on either the PSP or the Zune that I check out.
No fapping tho.

I make funny faces - or sometimes I do this

I'm in the poo and wipe camp aswell, i guess i get enough fiber, so it doesen't really take long enough for extracurricular activities.

(GR)Killer said:

I start yelling loudly as i am trying to push that sucker out of my ass. Sometimes the poop is bigger then the crack so it's painfull coming out.

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Read.

Sine Deviance said:

Eat more fiber. Seriously.

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Hmm, yeah, that was the obvious answer. I hate being constipated though

I generally push something from my little tushy spot, and then sniff and taste it to make sure it is poop and not leftovers.

One more reason you shouldn't spend too much time on the toilet:

I always take my drum sticks and practice rudiments and stuff on my legs

I figure he was kinda fat and unhealthy so that makes sense.

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I´m fat and unhealthy but I still make it in like 5 minutes.

I usually visit BUF and Epic Games forums from my mobile phone.

Sudoku and crosswords ofcourse.

I massage my prostate while rubbing **** on my penis also thinking of boning fullbleed sister.

Al said:

Read.

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Penthouse Letters?

I rarely poop longer than a minute or 2.

So all i do is just sit, contract my muscles and then whipe my hot sexy butt

Squeeze **** out of my anus

Azura said:

If someone has the secret to making poops that leave hardly any skid marks, let me know.

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yikes.

ok, let's say you were eating cream cheese wontons and nothing else for a week. i bet i would still have no skid marks because of my wiping skills. the fact that you said "that leave -->HARDLY<-- any skid marks" means you have had some that rival a highschool parking lot.

i feel for you i do. heres my technique and while sounding gross it's guaranteed. first you must know the problem. you wipe, right and still get skid marks. the thing is there is still **** caked to the inside of your asshole. it's hidden away a bit, so you think all is well. i learned this when i was about nine years old but don't feel bad. the secret is to crack open your asshole a bit and dab around in there a bit. don't go more than, say, half an inch otherwise you have other problems entirely.

repeat the process until the toilet paper is clean and you should be skid mark free. remember dab, don't ram a toilet paper covered finger up there. that would be wrong. but you should eat better because i've always considered this an INFREQUENT emergency procedure before i give up and take a freakin shower. you could also take lots of showers.

****! that was disgusting and i'm sorry but he sounds like he has a serious problem.

EDIT:

antibacterial soap, scrub hands PLEASE.

Armagon917 said:

antibacterial soap, scrub hands PLEASE.

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Two times at least if you're fingering your asshole like you are.