Id be a better husband if...

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U/D/T/SNAKE

U/D/T/SNAKE

Only partially annoying now
Apr 7, 2004
241
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In an old ZZ top song called "beer drinkers and he
I recently spoke to my wife in openly about our marriage. As we finalize our divorce I was a little taken aback by the things that she said caused her contempt, callus, bitchy, evil, money grubbing, whiney behavior (got a little carried away). Now I used to give this filthy cooze about 1 thousand dollars everytime I got paid plus more for every farkin thing that came up as an allowance. I was always there to help. Im the kind of guy that will wake up at 3 am and run to the all night cvs or store to get her anything she needs, or be there in force wherever and whenever...Im a pretty loyal guy and enjoy the fact that Im known for my dependability (must be the marine in me). So I found it so farkin trivial when she mentioned these faults. Id be a better husband if:
(in no particular order)

- I didnt fart so much
- I didnt wake up cheerful and motivated
- I didnt drink....at all
- I didnt blow my nose in the bottom underside of my **** when Im at the pc working and dont feel like getting a tissue (admittedly, thats pretty disgusting)
- I didnt enjoy playing video games
- I didnt yell NOOOO!!! in my sleep (dont ask, Ive actually woken myself up doing that)
- I wasnt so gung ho about my beloved Corps
- I didnt complain about the mess she always leaves in the kitchen
- I didnt get embarrassed and apologize for her when she acts abrasive towards any service person when we are out (the israeli in her)
- Take a shower on Sunday...most times I just dont, just get up and throw on some sweats, get some coffee and the paper, put on the news and hop on the pc, do some work around the house etc.
- I acted my age (not sure wheat she means by that)
- I wasnt so popular with my friends
- I didnt give my little brother so much money all the time (**** her hes the only brother I have and I tenderized the kid when we were growing up so its the least I can do)
- I acted more like the formal education I have
- I didnt say f u c k so much
- I wasnt such a smart ass
- I didnt challenge everything she says (I never saw it that way, just questioning to have a conversation, she would get hyper defensive when all I wanted to do was find out stuff or have an interesting conversation)
- Didnt threaten my neighbors (hehe yeah thats bad but the kid had it comming...I just scared him a little, something about the black watery mush that will be his brains laying on the ground if he doesnt turn down that techno crap at 3am)
- I didnt dry all the cloths in the same dryer
- I didnt stay up so late
- I didnt wake up so early
- I didnt make a disgusting noise when my throat itches
- I didnt act so American (**** that filthy Israeli cooze)
Theres more but you get it. This was all the **** that she brought out. Funny, Most American girls just want a good, loyal man.

Well that felt good venting all that crap.
 
Z

Zundfolge

New Member
Dec 13, 1999
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Women ... can't live with them ... can't bury them in the back yard :p


Out of that whole list there where a couple of things that where probably legitimate complaints (although I'm not sure they where "divorce worthy").


So you need to put together a questionnaire for future prospective women ... something to the effect of "Please check all of the following items that you would bitch about if we were married".

:D
 
U/D/T/SNAKE

U/D/T/SNAKE

Only partially annoying now
Apr 7, 2004
241
0
0
In an old ZZ top song called "beer drinkers and he
Well, bitching is one thing. Its part of the process. Determining that someone is a bad person because they fart is another. This is the same person that swore I never did anything for her...she was simply crazy, and probably resented the fact that I even supported her. The check list should be: do you take: anti-depressents, a.d.d. meds, stress meds, anti-psycotics, mood stabilizers, ambien, go to the shrink 4 times a week. If they check any of those Im a runnin. My lesson learned is "be a snob" keep the riff raff out...way out and keep the good in...way in and if you smell smoke its because your whole farkin house is about to burn down...nuff said
 
TheShiningWizard

TheShiningWizard

Because it's more fantastical.
Jun 26, 2000
2,644
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Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash, or something.
 
Texx

Texx

New Member
Aug 9, 2005
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Western Wisconsin
www.willsroom.com
From my experience as a husband, I would say just getting the wife to be as patient with me as I have had to be with she and her kids. My biggest gripe with my marriage is that I am supposed to be patient and accept that she and her children have flaws. Because of these flaws, I am expected to be patient with the three of them, which, because of my upbringing, I am more than happy to be. Hell, I'm a patient guy and more than willing to be diplomatic.

But when the "foot is on the other hand", holy ****! My wife who takes her sweet-ass time to do anything, expects me to jump when she says jump. If I don't immediately do what her children want, when they want to do it, I get ten kinds of hell from 360 degrees - inlaws, ex-husband's parents and family, kids' friends, and my wife.

It could be anything, I might be in the middle of scratching my balls, something that takes time because (a)I want to do a good job and (b) because of the distances covered, its kinda a dedicated task in that there can be no going back. If either one of my Step-monsters tell me (not ask) to do something for them or take them somewhere, if I tell them to wait, they immediately call aforementioned relatives to bitch at me. Then I catch double hell from the Mrs. when she gets home from work.

So, could I be a better husband? Definitely. I can admit that I am a pain in the ass. But my marriage is far from perfect to begin with. And having something as simple as a little goddam patience when I need to do something could go a long way in motivating me to be a better husband.

For the record, I have been married for three years, having just celebrated my third anniversary yesterday. The only time I have pissed my wife off enough to really consider divorce was after she had just finished berating me in the car. She continued to babble on about something else that was bothering her and noticed I was beet red and angry as hell. She paused long enough to say "you probably don't care about anything I'm saying, don't you?"

To which, I replied, "No ****ing ****. I really hate your guts right now, and I wish to hell you would shut your ****ing mouth."

I had just made a breakthrough, according to Dr. Phil. I had expressed my feelings in an effort to fully communicate my point of view. Its healthy for couples to communicate what they are feeling and to feel free to express themselves.

My wife expressed herself by booting my ass out of the car. I made further breakthroughs by making strides across five miles of snowcovered highway. In the end, I learned a valuable lesson, sometimes, just shut the hell up.
 
Last edited:
ravens_hawk

ravens_hawk

New Member
Apr 20, 2002
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Visit site
This thread is useless without videos.
552364201torrents.jpg
 
Saladin

Saladin

Fez Toting Warrior!
Jul 25, 2002
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home.attbi.com
doesnt have to be a nazi costume...police works good enough ya know....plus it gives em a more authoratative look than the nazi one, although less evil.


and snake, im gettin hitched soon. dont scare me
 
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