A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF WOMEN
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6Kg, but known to vary from 40-200Kg.
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas.
Physical Properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
Chemical Properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF MEN
Element name: man
Symbol: XY
Atomic weight: (180 +/-50)
Physical properties:
1. Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.
2. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
3. Difficult to find a pure sample.
4. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties:
1. Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.
2. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.
3. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: child) for prolonged period of time.
4. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage:
None known. Possibly good source of methane. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution:
In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
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"Philosophy is to science as pornography is to sex!"
Element: Woman
Symbol: Wo
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted at 53.6Kg, but known to vary from 40-200Kg.
Occurrences: Copious quantities in all urban areas.
Physical Properties:
1. Surface usually covered in painted film.
2. Boils at nothing; freezes without reason.
3. Melts if given treatment.
4. Bitter if incorrectly used.
5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore.
6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places.
Chemical Properties:
1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason.
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases greatly by saturation in alcohol.
5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man.
Common Uses:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Very effective cleaning agent.
Tests:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural state.
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF MEN
Element name: man
Symbol: XY
Atomic weight: (180 +/-50)
Physical properties:
1. Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.
2. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
3. Difficult to find a pure sample.
4. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties:
1. Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.
2. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.
3. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: child) for prolonged period of time.
4. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage:
None known. Possibly good source of methane. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command.
Caution:
In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
Visit Neo Skinz to see my Winamp and ICQ skins.
"Philosophy is to science as pornography is to sex!"
