Well, here's a good rule:
If you think you could have a conversation with her for the next forty years, it's probably love...
If you think you could have a conversation with her for the next forty years, it's probably love...
what is love?
- Thread starter Warm Pudgy
- Start date
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OK ... I'm nearly getting over ROFLM@Oing at some of the replies ...
Like it sets up serious and meaningful then suddenly ...
Whap! and I'm choking on my beer ... Hang on, I'm going to have another.
.
.
.
Good, got it.
I could go crazy in the brain if I tried to be coherent, because it's a subject that frightens me, so I'll just try to list some things as they come to me ...
If it's love, then I can realistically comtemplate noticing what I consider to be her bad points as well as her good points, accept that he is likely to have both.
It it's love, i can imagine wanting to be with her during and beyond the process of her bad points as well as her good points.
If it's love, I am willing to hold the value of her survival equivalent to my own. That includes highly valuing our emotional as well as physical survival.
[ecological concern]
As I'm writing this, I realise I want to make it very clear that I do not necessarily recommend my way at all. As I write it, then I realise it feels familiar and OK ... That's because I'm me. I can see my way as having some pretty crappy downsides. However, this is my best shot at expressing what LOVE is for me[/ecological concern]
Doing stuff ... like writing songs ... and wanting to dedicate it to her {I'm not into forum-buddy-cyber-humping, but I guess in some -'I've got a GF and I'm faithful to her' - kind of thing way I love this forum and the people on it ... cf 'Addicted' ... yeh ... if I hadn't felt some love, then it just wouldn't have happened}
Oh yes ... a wish and willingness to be faithful
Wanting to go out and do things together, and not bothering much If I don't go and do things with other people
Sharing and cherishing each other's personal histories. Caring about where they have come from ... their roots.
Those are a few thoughts.
I certainly don't recommend them, though I'll live by them. I don't know how useful they are but I'm willing to stick by them and find out. I'm Generally in turmoil, because I think your question is extremely important.
There is a value I've not yet put into words, and I don't want to ... er ... I find it difficult to find them ... it's something like this ..
I might have my own idas about what love is ... but I'm too scared to sit down with her and talk about it .. comparing notes and finding differences. I'm desperate not only that she love me, but that love means the same for her as it means to me. And that's a **** way of thinking. If I'm not careful, I could lose her sooner or later.
Loving, IMO DOES need to include some capacity and willingess to talk about stuff, including what love means or could mean, WITH the partner. I don't walk my talk here. Bugger.
A final point, for now, that isn't intended to be a cop out is that part of the way of handling the question 'what is love' could be ... I hope I can wrap my mind and my keyboard around this ...
NOT the answer
BUT the answerING
The idea I'm trying to convey here being that the process of keeping the ASKing alive means that todays loving feelings .. and what we are doing lovingly will be the answer to today's way of asking rather than reflections of yesterday's temporary conclusions ... in the hope that today's fulfilment and culmination of all our daily hopes and desires may be welcomed not as an ending but as a further springboard off of which our hearts may continue learning to leap .... questioningly
...er ...I'm going to stop before it get's too tacky. I mean every word but it's already gone a bit borderline ...
Like it sets up serious and meaningful then suddenly ...
Whap! and I'm choking on my beer ... Hang on, I'm going to have another.
.
.
.
Good, got it.
I could go crazy in the brain if I tried to be coherent, because it's a subject that frightens me, so I'll just try to list some things as they come to me ...
If it's love, then I can realistically comtemplate noticing what I consider to be her bad points as well as her good points, accept that he is likely to have both.
It it's love, i can imagine wanting to be with her during and beyond the process of her bad points as well as her good points.
If it's love, I am willing to hold the value of her survival equivalent to my own. That includes highly valuing our emotional as well as physical survival.
[ecological concern]
As I'm writing this, I realise I want to make it very clear that I do not necessarily recommend my way at all. As I write it, then I realise it feels familiar and OK ... That's because I'm me. I can see my way as having some pretty crappy downsides. However, this is my best shot at expressing what LOVE is for me[/ecological concern]
Doing stuff ... like writing songs ... and wanting to dedicate it to her {I'm not into forum-buddy-cyber-humping, but I guess in some -'I've got a GF and I'm faithful to her' - kind of thing way I love this forum and the people on it ... cf 'Addicted' ... yeh ... if I hadn't felt some love, then it just wouldn't have happened}
Oh yes ... a wish and willingness to be faithful
Wanting to go out and do things together, and not bothering much If I don't go and do things with other people
Sharing and cherishing each other's personal histories. Caring about where they have come from ... their roots.
Those are a few thoughts.
I certainly don't recommend them, though I'll live by them. I don't know how useful they are but I'm willing to stick by them and find out. I'm Generally in turmoil, because I think your question is extremely important.
There is a value I've not yet put into words, and I don't want to ... er ... I find it difficult to find them ... it's something like this ..
I might have my own idas about what love is ... but I'm too scared to sit down with her and talk about it .. comparing notes and finding differences. I'm desperate not only that she love me, but that love means the same for her as it means to me. And that's a **** way of thinking. If I'm not careful, I could lose her sooner or later.
Loving, IMO DOES need to include some capacity and willingess to talk about stuff, including what love means or could mean, WITH the partner. I don't walk my talk here. Bugger.
A final point, for now, that isn't intended to be a cop out is that part of the way of handling the question 'what is love' could be ... I hope I can wrap my mind and my keyboard around this ...
NOT the answer
BUT the answerING
The idea I'm trying to convey here being that the process of keeping the ASKing alive means that todays loving feelings .. and what we are doing lovingly will be the answer to today's way of asking rather than reflections of yesterday's temporary conclusions ... in the hope that today's fulfilment and culmination of all our daily hopes and desires may be welcomed not as an ending but as a further springboard off of which our hearts may continue learning to leap .... questioningly
...er ...I'm going to stop before it get's too tacky. I mean every word but it's already gone a bit borderline ...
Love? Well, love is something you just know. It's not just a word but a feeling you get inside yourself whenever you think about that person, a good feeling. Love is when that person can make your ****ty day seem like its not so bad, just by being around em. If you think you're feeling love, and its not physical love like 'damn I want to hit some of that p****y', then chances are you are in love and there is a good chance that it could last.
<cynical mode>
Love is f*cking stupid. At least the kind that includes lust (i.e. between two opposite genders... yeah that kind of love).
All it does is make you blind to reality. You fall in love with someone, and they can do whatever the hell they like with you. They'll have complete control over your f*cking life. When you love someone, they could kill you emotionally and you still wouldn't hold it against them.
Not only that, but some people on this planet are damn good liars. And when you love someone, they can lie to you, and you will believe it! Without a doubt. Because after all... why would they lie to you? They love you, don't they?
(hah)
The kind of love that is paired with lust does NOT have respect. It has BLIND respect, which means you place them on a god damn pedestal without even paying attention to whatever they are or are doing. The love between friends has a more mutual trust and respect - I say mutual because if one has to change their life completely, the other friend would understand. But with the other kind of love, you'd have to change your life according to them.
Of course, you wouldn't MIND... but that's the point.
I've made two decisions - never to get married, and never to have sex. And I have my reasons behind both.
</cynical mode>
It's a great feeling. Why argue with it?
Love is f*cking stupid. At least the kind that includes lust (i.e. between two opposite genders... yeah that kind of love).
All it does is make you blind to reality. You fall in love with someone, and they can do whatever the hell they like with you. They'll have complete control over your f*cking life. When you love someone, they could kill you emotionally and you still wouldn't hold it against them.
Not only that, but some people on this planet are damn good liars. And when you love someone, they can lie to you, and you will believe it! Without a doubt. Because after all... why would they lie to you? They love you, don't they?
(hah)
The kind of love that is paired with lust does NOT have respect. It has BLIND respect, which means you place them on a god damn pedestal without even paying attention to whatever they are or are doing. The love between friends has a more mutual trust and respect - I say mutual because if one has to change their life completely, the other friend would understand. But with the other kind of love, you'd have to change your life according to them.
Of course, you wouldn't MIND... but that's the point.
I've made two decisions - never to get married, and never to have sex. And I have my reasons behind both.
</cynical mode>
It's a great feeling. Why argue with it?
Originally posted by BillyBadAss
Love is when your pee pee gets hard and you want to stick it in something.
I've just been reading some of the posts that had been posted while I was composing my above reply, so I thought I'd make sure to specify the bit I had been ROFLM@Oing about. I got a lot of respect for what people are saying here .. I'm going back to read them in more detail .. but I wanted to add this quickly
There are as many ways to answer this question as there are stars in the sky, but, in the spirit of trying to help you figure stuff out...here's my two cents.
So...love is:
Valuing someone else's happiness above your own.
Spending hours discussing everything from the existence of God to who would win in a Spiderman vs. Batman showdown.
Spending just as much time in companiable silence, content to be simply sharing a moment together.
Admitting you've been an ass when you've been an ass and apologizing for it.
Not telling the other person to go f**k themselves when they're being an ass. (You go through a lot of "Ok, I really love you, but you're pissing me off right now, so I'm gonna go in the other room for a bit.")
Whenever you see/hear/experience something cool, you immediately want to share it with the other person. (If you're lucky, they're already there.)
I could offer up a huge list like this, but I guess the best way to summarize what I'm saying...love is offering up a huge part of yourself to another person, willingly and freely. Yes, this leaves you incredibly vulnerable, and you'll get hurt. A lot. But as the cliche goes, no pain, no gain.
There is nothing, NOTHING, like the absolute certainty that one person in this world always has your back.
So...love is:
Valuing someone else's happiness above your own.
Spending hours discussing everything from the existence of God to who would win in a Spiderman vs. Batman showdown.
Spending just as much time in companiable silence, content to be simply sharing a moment together.
Admitting you've been an ass when you've been an ass and apologizing for it.
Not telling the other person to go f**k themselves when they're being an ass. (You go through a lot of "Ok, I really love you, but you're pissing me off right now, so I'm gonna go in the other room for a bit.")
Whenever you see/hear/experience something cool, you immediately want to share it with the other person. (If you're lucky, they're already there.)
I could offer up a huge list like this, but I guess the best way to summarize what I'm saying...love is offering up a huge part of yourself to another person, willingly and freely. Yes, this leaves you incredibly vulnerable, and you'll get hurt. A lot. But as the cliche goes, no pain, no gain.
There is nothing, NOTHING, like the absolute certainty that one person in this world always has your back.
But wait... don't you eventually get sick of that game?
And what happens when the sequel comes out?
Love is not one thing, it's hundreds of things, but most view it as lust and passion, unfortunate, that's just the tip of the iceburg. Many overlook Compassion.
I care for people, my friends, I love them, I love my family, and That's caring love.
I am in love with my GF, not just lust, and passion, but compassion, care, and every other love I can think of.
It's almost impossible to define love. I can write a 3 page paper on it, but I'm not going to.
I care for people, my friends, I love them, I love my family, and That's caring love.
I am in love with my GF, not just lust, and passion, but compassion, care, and every other love I can think of.
It's almost impossible to define love. I can write a 3 page paper on it, but I'm not going to.
ok now what would you say if shes in canada for a while
how long?
lets say 4 more years
now this isnt just some internet crush
we met on the internet, but we have met in life too
and we voice chat all the time
(cause its alot cheaper than using the phone)
so far she has been the most incredible, caring, understanding
person i have ever met
and i have even thought about moving up there until she finishes
school after my lease is up on my apartment
but this is a life changing desicion
i dont know if i should leave everyone i know here just to be with
her or stay here and wait for her
how long?
lets say 4 more years
now this isnt just some internet crush
we met on the internet, but we have met in life too
and we voice chat all the time
(cause its alot cheaper than using the phone
)so far she has been the most incredible, caring, understanding
person i have ever met
and i have even thought about moving up there until she finishes
school after my lease is up on my apartment
but this is a life changing desicion
i dont know if i should leave everyone i know here just to be with
her or stay here and wait for her
its always nice to hear this from a womans point of view
anyways what you said reminded me of a song i once heard in the wedding singer
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you
I'll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold
Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you've had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you
Originally posted by DRT-Maverick
I agree 100%.
Ditto (this gonna turn into a "get rid of that barcode thread").
[Edit]I sent Barcode a PM, a last try from at least my side to change him/her.))[/Edit]
AI: Nobody can decide for you. Love is all what people have said here. Love is joy and happiness and pain and suffer as well.
My two cents:
1. "Better to loved and lost than just lost." (You can't win without risk anything.)
2. If you move, try to keep in contact with your friends now, you will feel rootless otherwise and that will affect your new partnership. (With that said, I would take the risk...)
Good Luck whatever you do and remember, "May the BuF be with you!"
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Love is that great feeling in your tummy and the feeling that you exactly understand every song on the radio that has the word love in it
I'm sorry, not trying to be rude here... but this guy's just asking to get burnt... (karma's a beautiful thing as well).Originally posted by DRT-Maverick
I know what it is now! Love is anything and everything good in this world.
Love is not perfect nor painless.
It is an emotion. Emotions are unreliable.
Rely on an emotion and you're relying on the unreliable.
But then love is such a beautiful feeling, why is anyone gonna agree with me?
<YODA>Hmm, many kinds of love, there are.</YODA>
But are you IN LOVE, well that's the thing ... check out some song Lyrics and see if your feelings match up...
But are you IN LOVE, well that's the thing ... check out some song Lyrics and see if your feelings match up...
The "in love" bit is a semi-obsessional thing, where you get totally wrapped up in your GF/BF.... and (usually) great fun while it lasts!
