Old dudes dating young chicks, what is acceptable?

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Molgan

T-minus whenever
Feb 13, 2008
413
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Sweden
www.apskaft.com
Just wondering. Seems like the older the couple is the more accepted is the age difference, so instead of a specific age span it must be a ratio, I came up with this:

1.4G=Bmax

G = Girls age
Bmax = Maximum age of boyfriend.

This means that if the girl is 16 the boy can't be older then 22, 18->25, 25->35 etc. Oc everyone can team up with anyone, but at what age difference does people start to whisper?

:cheers:
 

Darkdrium

20% Cooler
Jun 6, 2008
3,239
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36
Montreal
I heard about the rule of 7, meaning that the girl can me at maximum seven years younger than the boy. Turns out it's approximately the same result for a 22yo, 15. Anyways these rules are just made up :p
 

dragonfliet

I write stuffs
Apr 24, 2006
3,754
31
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1) Your question and scale are a sexist representation of relationships, being that the man should be older than the woman in order to be acceptable. The question should be rephrased to older people dating younger people and your calculation should be changed to 1.4Y=Omax (y=younger person, o=older person)

2) It's a cute scale that's been done about a thousand times before
dating_pools.png


3) It has to do with social, intellectual and class markers. For example, 16-18 is an important marker as 16 is considered the "right" time to start dating and 18 is the first cutoff of legality (if you're >18, it can be illegal to be with a younger than 18 person). This also coincides fairly well with college. The next marker is 21 (you know, drinking in the US) or 22 (graduation from college). the 18-22 range is generally one associated with youthful indiscretion, staying up late and stupid mistakes. After that, 25 is a good age to signify growing maturity (no more silly tshirts, no more glow in the dark posters on the wall) while still showing youth. After that, the decades mark growing 'maturity' 30 being a youngish professional (emphasis on professional) 40 middle age, 50 older individual, etc., etc. The key is that when one dates much outside of these little scales, it causes social awkwardness. you can't bring an under 21 to bars, those in college can't relate much to a 9-5 workweek, those barely out of college don't have the appreciation of stability/routine that those that have been working for a decade have, etc. While people certainly can bridge such gaps, there are more chances for awkwardness, misunderstandings and conflicting goals, as well as raising questions of motive. What does a 21 yo want with a 40yo (answer: generally money related) and what does a 40yo want with a 21yo (generally sex/youth recapturing related).

So it really breaks down to a questioning of the status quo freaks people out, so as long as you float in the same circles, you're good to go. (Which means that a 24 year old that skipped college to work and is in middle management is able to float in the same circles that a 32yo who went to college and is in a similar position. There is certainly an age discrepancy, but interests/positions will be more aligned).

~Jason
 

Armagon917

TOAST
Mar 6, 2008
339
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The Woodlands, Texas
i understand what you're saying. all i can do is add my personal experience to try and help out.

recently i have had a lot of girls who just turned 18 very interested in
me(26). obviously you have to take the law into account and not land yourself in jail. i turned down those opportunities mainly because the older you get the more settled you are. someone 18 is likely still interested in partying in many cases while you may like myself be focused on a career. priorities are out of sync.

after college the fun is over and priorities are more in sync. so it all depends.
is she looking for the same things you are, striving for something similar? i do
a lot of research and work at home in my field and someone very young may mistake that for abandonment, or loss of interest. i think priorities in life being
similar is really important.

i think society views very young girls as being easy to take advantage of and that view dissipates around 20 i'm guessing. from your statement that 22 yr old guy with the 16 year old girl should be very very careful. i wouldn't risk that. too old IMO. just a different angle on the subject, though not answering your question directly hope it helps. more on the relationship side of things.
 
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Armagon917

TOAST
Mar 6, 2008
339
0
0
The Woodlands, Texas
1)

So it really breaks down to a questioning of the status quo freaks people out, so as long as you float in the same circles, you're good to go. (Which means that a 24 year old that skipped college to work and is in middle management is able to float in the same circles that a 32yo who went to college and is in a similar position. There is certainly an age discrepancy, but interests/positions will be more aligned).

~Jason

well said. what i was trying to say poorly btw.
 

Hazel.H

Member
Jan 15, 2004
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16
16 and 22 seems weird... It's the maturity and experience difference, what does a 22 year old want with a 16 year old besides the obvious?
 
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dotnetbeast

Mood Muzik
Feb 14, 2006
6,189
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Washington D.C.

NeoNite

Starsstream
Dec 10, 2000
20,275
263
83
In a stream of stars
One of my colleagues is 31. Her husband is.... mid 40s I think. Only seen him a couple of times, but since he's already gray...and you can tell by the face he's no longer 30something.
I don't know, I'm not making a problem out of that. They have a child (born this year), it seems to work.

Personally.... I prefer a girl close to my age. At least someone you can relate to. Early 20... that's quite young. Would be hard for me to feel a connection?

Things change quite a bit once you reach 30 (OR maybe that's just another generalisation. Though, I don't feel like a typical 30something. What is that really. It's all so ridiculous sometimes...).
 

m00naY

Member
May 21, 2008
948
5
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Texas
I would care if it was my daughter.

I don't think a couple years difference is a big deal. But like Hazel said 16 and 22 is weird. I mean of than sex what would the two have in common.
 

Molgan

T-minus whenever
Feb 13, 2008
413
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Sweden
www.apskaft.com
Ic, my question was more about what was socially acceptable then what would work. I put the 1.4 ratio there simply since it is the same difference as between my age and the age of the love of my life (the one with legs, not wheels). Good replies though, as an engineer I like to put everything into neat little equations but this is a bit more complex as you have shown here. =)
 

shadow_dragon

is ironing his panties!
Ic, my question was more about what was socially acceptable then what would work. I put the 1.4 ratio there simply since it is the same difference as between my age and the age of the love of my life (the one with legs, not wheels). Good replies though, as an engineer I like to put everything into neat little equations but this is a bit more complex as you have shown here. =)

As long as everyone involved is of legal age "acceptable" is a relative term.

BTW, presumably your ratio only works in the present with your current girl? As you get older she will become too young for your ratio? And when you were younger she was too old for you at some point? Was taht point before you met her?

Like when your 16 she could be 22. That's not really a biggy in my mind, 6 years is not huge.
When your 30 though she could be 42? 12 years older? Not unlikely but.. I tihnk 30 year old men tend to start looking the other way again.

I'm not sure this is something you can apply maths too though. I just think people find different things attractive and some people never forget the fact that when they were 18 years old they fancied 18 year olds and when they hit 50 their taste didn't change.
If you settle down with a partner and grow old together i guess you end up having at aste for the thing you care about so yoru taste changes with him/her.
Sometimes people refer back to what they know though and sometimes people just don't grow up.

Also there is simply personality based matches... I dunno really just thinking out loud, tbh, i never remember how old anyone is, not even myself, it is of very little interest to me.
 
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Jacks:Revenge

╠╣E╚╚O
Jun 18, 2006
10,065
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somewhere; sometime?
But like Hazel said 16 and 22 is weird. I mean of than sex what would the two have in common.
there's nothing weird about it.
people are people. you're only as old as you feel. age is just a number, everything else is in your mind. it's your behaviors and attitude about life that define how "old" or "young" you are.

other than sex, what do they have in common? that's a pretty ignorant statement to make.
people of different generations can have a lot more in common than just sex. once you're an adult, age is just a number. it does not carry any set or specific guidelines as to what sort of interests or outlook on life you will have.
Ic, my question was more about what was socially acceptable then what would work.
social acceptance is an irrelevant variable.

because social acceptance is hinged on whether or not other people are going around and "whispering" (as you put it) behind your back. just because someone who is old-fashioned might think it's weird doesn't make it so. people wind up together for all sorts of reasons, age is usually not a factor.

you can't label someone's desire to be with someone else based on the age difference as "acceptable" or not.
 

M.A.D.X.W

Active Member
Aug 24, 2008
4,486
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I don't think age matters as long as both people are over 17, or both under.
But there would be like 2 years around that, so a 15yr old could date a 19 year old. But that might be a bit weird, if the 15 year old acts like a 15 year old.

But yeah age difference doesn't matter in my opinion.