When Vin Diesel awakens...
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I'm scared to go to sleep at night because I think Vin Diesel is in my closet......with George Lucas.
*runs*
*runs*
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![[IsP]KaRnAgE](/data/avatars/s/24/24533.jpg?1424422824){kind=avatar}
Vin Diesel once starred in his own remake of the Matrix sequels, in which he played all of the characters, live and simultaneously at many times throughout the production, on a broadway stage that he built in 15 minutes while eating a burrito he cooked by spinning his arm REALLY FAST.
I didn't want to risk getting instaposted so I posted again!
When Columbus landed in what is now the West Indies, he was completely unsure of where he really was. Vin told him that those people were Indians and Columbus disagreed. Vin smacked Columbus right in his face and Columbus said ok.
Vin Diesel was the sole cause of the Boston Tea Party. He attempted to turn the harbor into a giant cup of tea for himself. He was going to heat it with a Death Ray he built out of boredom. His plans were foiled and he blamed the incident the locals. The Brits had no choice to believe him, lest they be smacked by his mighty hand.
Vin Diesel burnt down the White House. He did it when he was testing his previously mentioned Death Ray. He blamed it on the Brits and the Americans believed him because he is Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel accidently killed JFK when he was flexing nearby. His UNBELIEVABLE muscles popped a few buttons loose sending them flying toward the motorcade at incredible speeds. Vin Diesel blamed it on Oswald and then dressed up in Jack Ruby's skin (after gutting him) so he could shoot him with a pistol he created with his bare hands.
This happened again with Robert Kennedy when he was flexing nearby trying to impress a lady. He was the one who brain washed that dude and turned him in.
Luckily, Ronald Reagon avoided the same fate. Vin was quickly able to edit all footage of the incident before it even left the cameras.
Vin Diesel was the insipiration for 50% of the characters in Lord Of The Rings AND Harry Potter. Much of the Simillaron is actually based on the memoirs of Vin himself.
When Columbus landed in what is now the West Indies, he was completely unsure of where he really was. Vin told him that those people were Indians and Columbus disagreed. Vin smacked Columbus right in his face and Columbus said ok.
Vin Diesel was the sole cause of the Boston Tea Party. He attempted to turn the harbor into a giant cup of tea for himself. He was going to heat it with a Death Ray he built out of boredom. His plans were foiled and he blamed the incident the locals. The Brits had no choice to believe him, lest they be smacked by his mighty hand.
Vin Diesel burnt down the White House. He did it when he was testing his previously mentioned Death Ray. He blamed it on the Brits and the Americans believed him because he is Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel accidently killed JFK when he was flexing nearby. His UNBELIEVABLE muscles popped a few buttons loose sending them flying toward the motorcade at incredible speeds. Vin Diesel blamed it on Oswald and then dressed up in Jack Ruby's skin (after gutting him) so he could shoot him with a pistol he created with his bare hands.
This happened again with Robert Kennedy when he was flexing nearby trying to impress a lady. He was the one who brain washed that dude and turned him in.
Luckily, Ronald Reagon avoided the same fate. Vin was quickly able to edit all footage of the incident before it even left the cameras.
Vin Diesel was the insipiration for 50% of the characters in Lord Of The Rings AND Harry Potter. Much of the Simillaron is actually based on the memoirs of Vin himself.
Lizard Of Oz
Demented Avenger
Lizard Of Oz
Demented Avenger
Lizard Of Oz
Demented Avenger
Watch in horror as Vin Diesel carves effortlessly through this tin can, and yet can still make paper- thin tomato slices!
NOW how much would you expect to pay? But wait... there's more!
NOW how much would you expect to pay? But wait... there's more!
Lizard Of Oz
Demented Avenger
Vin Diesel once shot a man in Reno because he check-raised him in a hotly contested game of Go Fish.
Lizard Of Oz
Demented Avenger
Vin Diesel Dares you to use the word "skin" in front of flute when he is playing Mozart one handed upside down standing on his head and simultaneously drinking a glass of water through his nose.
Lizard Of Oz
Demented Avenger
Vin Diesel recently completed a translation of Don Quixote hand- written on a single strand of human hair. However, he can't show you because he dropped it on a shag carpet last week and hasn't been able to locate it since.
But it's OK because Vin Diesel can pee further than you can. Much, much further. You'd be amazed.
But it's OK because Vin Diesel can pee further than you can. Much, much further. You'd be amazed.
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Vin Diesel has a personal message of Great Importance just for YOU.
For only $19.95 US and return postage, you can find out what it is.
For only $19.95 US and return postage, you can find out what it is.
Lizard Of Oz
Demented Avenger
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