lol
what no advice?
the Dr. cant take a little abuse?
http://www-csag.cs.uiuc.edu/individual/pakin/complaint
what no advice?
the Dr. cant take a little abuse?
http://www-csag.cs.uiuc.edu/individual/pakin/complaint
Dear Doctor CHRYSt
- Thread starter phil
- Start date
-
Two Factor Authentication is now available on BeyondUnreal Forums. To configure it, visit your Profile and look for the "Two Step Verification" option on the left side. We can send codes via email (may be slower) or you can set up any TOTP Authenticator app on your phone (Authy, Google Authenticator, etc) to deliver codes. It is highly recommended that you configure this to keep your account safe.
- Status
Dear Doctor CHRYSt,
There's this person on a forum which I go to often and I don't really like him. I keep getting an unnatural and impractical urge to kill him.
I doubt I stand a chance against the guy at the moment, so I was wondering if you could give me any advice about getting him.
If I wanted to kill... for arguments sake, lets say it was you... how would I go about it?
There's this person on a forum which I go to often and I don't really like him. I keep getting an unnatural and impractical urge to kill him.
I doubt I stand a chance against the guy at the moment, so I was wondering if you could give me any advice about getting him.
If I wanted to kill... for arguments sake, lets say it was you... how would I go about it?
You didn't ask a question, stupid.
Well, I can't be killed by anything that a sub 14th dimentional aware human would understand. Gleeptoidians have no actual "lifespan" to speak of, since "life" is not really something we deal with very often.
As for this "hypothetical" person on this forum you speak of, it's not very hard. All it takes is a bullet to the back of the brain, some intake of a volatile chemical, falling on their own knife, something to that effect.
I think the real question here is why you want to kill someone in the first place. It's understandable that you would have some animosity towards certain members of these forums. Many of us weren't very sympathetic when you were whining like a little bïtch with a skinned knee yesterday. But you were given some of the best advice you could ever get: Put a bullet inside yourself.
I think the root of your question is "Why am I such a little bïtch?" Well, the answer is simple. Because you have to go fishing for sympathy. That makes you a bïtch.
I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to go find yourself a nice street gang and call their moms a bunch of hos. I'll even come and help afterwards by burning your house to the ground, thereby leaving no trace of your whiny existence.
Dear Dr. CHRYSt
My life sucks. I hate and I want to end it. but my problem is, is that I cant get ahold of a weapon or other object to kill myself and my parents have locked me up in my room with just a computer. How am I gonna go about killing myself? please help me.
My life sucks. I hate and I want to end it. but my problem is, is that I cant get ahold of a weapon or other object to kill myself and my parents have locked me up in my room with just a computer. How am I gonna go about killing myself? please help me.
Be Creative man! That computer is full of sharp edges and blunt heavy things! Not to mention electricity!
I bet your case is full of wrist slashing goodness. Or you could break the monitor and use the glass. Take that network cable, strip the ends, attach the wires to your nipples, and go for the power outlet!
Hell, if it's an I-mac with no sharp edges or anything, you'd still be able to drop it on your head.
Just look around and think what I do when I am in a confusing situation such as this:
WWMD What Would McGuyver Do?
Dear Dr CHRYSt,
You make me want to be a better person. How can I become a better person?
Peace & love,
Flicky-p00
You make me want to be a better person. How can I become a better person?
Peace & love,
Flicky-p00
Dear Dr. CHRYSt
It didnt work, im not dead yet, infact im bleeding to death and been bleeding for sometime now, and I cant seem to get myself to die. what should I do?
ooh wait... im seeing a bright light now. im coming to you my pet hamster that died so long ago!!!!
It didnt work, im not dead yet, infact im bleeding to death and been bleeding for sometime now, and I cant seem to get myself to die. what should I do?
ooh wait... im seeing a bright light now. im coming to you my pet hamster that died so long ago!!!!
Instructions:
1. Bullet to the back of the head
2. House burned to the ground.
Just keep bleeding, it'll come. If you're still seeing light, you're not dead yet. Do it again.Originally posted by Flare123
Dear Dr. CHRYSt
It didnt work, im not dead yet, infact im bleeding to death and been bleeding for sometime now, and I cant seem to get myself to die. what should I do?
ooh wait... im seeing a bright light now. im coming to you my pet hamster that died so long ago!!!!
Dear Dr CHRYSt
As thewalkingman is clearly missing a brain, I have to ask you this for him: How much would it cost to insert a brand new monkey-brain into his empty skull? Could you give him a discount for old times sake?
As thewalkingman is clearly missing a brain, I have to ask you this for him: How much would it cost to insert a brand new monkey-brain into his empty skull? Could you give him a discount for old times sake?
Sigh, the original post wasn't a question, stupid.Originally posted by thewalkingman
?--question
Dear god man, Don't you realize how valuable monkey brains are? You can't just go putting them in the heads of any twit walking down the street! Monkey brains are the key to world domination, or my name isn't Johann Ziefburg the 12th.
Now, what to do instead? Well, a brain substitute will serve just fine.
In this case, I would substitute a brain for a bullet.
In other cases, I would use things like Cracker Jack, scrap metal, boiled football leather, or Twinkies.
Dear Dr. CHRYSt
I want to have another head and 3 more arms on me. are you a surgeon? I was hoping you would be able to do it because no other doctor will. and in my second head do you think you can put a fish brain in there or something? Thanks in advance.
I want to have another head and 3 more arms on me. are you a surgeon? I was hoping you would be able to do it because no other doctor will. and in my second head do you think you can put a fish brain in there or something? Thanks in advance.
Perhaps you'd like a few more nipples as well?
There's enough ugly retards in this world without me adding you to the list.
Perhaps you should just step in front of a train. Maybe you'll be re-incarnated as something you like better.
hey, if you don't like it, go bitch at your HMO. Better yet, bitch with a Glock 9mm.Originally posted by thewalkingman
You just cant get good healthcare theses days...
HMO's suck.
\supports the Democrat's version of Paitence Bill of Rights.
I 'll sue their(HMO and doctors) asses to bankruptcy
I 'll sue their(HMO and doctors) asses to bankruptcy
I have a problem
I really enjoy spending "quality time" with my fiancee. Unfortunatly, I work for 10 hours a day, and am on the road for 2 hours. She sits at home all by herself for that time with nothing to do. I would bring her to work, but I'm sure management doesn't want that kind of mess on their hands. I would stay home, but then I make no money.
So... do I make money, or spend "quality time" with my fiancee?
I really enjoy spending "quality time" with my fiancee. Unfortunatly, I work for 10 hours a day, and am on the road for 2 hours. She sits at home all by herself for that time with nothing to do. I would bring her to work, but I'm sure management doesn't want that kind of mess on their hands. I would stay home, but then I make no money.
So... do I make money, or spend "quality time" with my fiancee?
- Status