The secrets of solid poop

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Zur

Zur

surrealistic mad cow
Jul 8, 2002
11,708
8
38
48
I get a feeling of déjà vu posting this title but here goes anyway.

It's been a while since I did my stomach in with pain killers because of my back. Now I rarely have the pleasure of having a solid poop. I miss the satisfaction that comes with it and the impression that I'm somehow healthier for having dropped some biological payload all in one go.

So, naturally I thought of BUF as being a reliable source of information with all the poop experts here. So, what's the secret to solid poop ? What foods do you eat to achieve the best result ? Personally, I'm undecided between eating meat and lots of bread. Maybe there's an ingredient I'm missing.
 
KaiserWarrior

KaiserWarrior

Flyin' High
Aug 5, 2008
800
0
0
There is no food ingredient to solid poop. The secret is to get a sledgehammer and beat the everloving **** out of your ass. Except, rather than beating the **** out, it will beat it in. The sledging will compact your poop into a firm, solid mass, truly a turd fit for a true man's man.

It should be noted that if you are a lumberjack, you should not attempt this, as it will further compact your already manly **** into solid rocks that will not pass.
 
Darkdrium

Darkdrium

20% Cooler
Jun 6, 2008
3,239
0
36
Montreal
Eat a lot of them. Guaranteed you wont **** for a few days. :lol:

blueberries_earlyblue.jpg
 
ZenPirate

ZenPirate

Living Legend (and moderator)
Nov 21, 2000
7,516
9
38
51
New York
I believe the correct answer is to see a medical professional.
That said, get some bananas, or some cheese, and get eatin' :D
 
Zur

Zur

surrealistic mad cow
Jul 8, 2002
11,708
8
38
48
Al said:
Azura. You're starting to sound like Plumb_Drumb.
Click to expand...

Delirium Inc. :D

@ZenPirate: Talking about this to a professional is like telling a car mechanic that your car is making a funny noise :( .
 
BillyBadAss

BillyBadAss

Strong Cock of The North
May 25, 1999
8,879
60
48
48
Tokyo, JP
flickr.com
I'm going to go with see a doctor first, but I think fiber is the way to go. Soy products do the best job from my experience. You might want to avoid dairy since your stomach is all messed up. I would avoid anything greasy too. It makes things slide out before it's ready.

Basically pooping is like baking cookies. You don't want them to come out half cooked or over cooked. You want them just right. =)
 
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dragonfliet

dragonfliet

I write stuffs
Apr 24, 2006
3,754
31
48
41
High fiber stuffs should do the trick.

Also, if BillyBadAss ever offers, decline his **** cookies.

~Jason
 
Ruffrider

Ruffrider

Member
Feb 2, 2000
875
1
18
39
Citrus Springs, FL
I got extremely sick a few years ago and had to be on medicine for 3 weeks. My doctor told me to keep my gut bugs in tip top shape that I would want to take a Probiotic, and told me to start taking Florastor . Ever since I started taking it I've had zero stomach problems. No more bad bathroom trips, no more gas, indigestion, acid reflux or anything like that. I don't know if I just got really healthy, or if its the Florastor. Considering my lifestyle hasn't changed much I like to think its the Florastor :D.
 
Zaccix

Zaccix

Truth, by Banksy
Nov 10, 1999
3,370
1
36
London, UK
An apple with two slices of brown bread a few times a day, and plenty of water. Also, high-strength natural peppermint capsules. I'm totally serious. I had a bad stomach bug last week (with a resulting watery stool) and those things helped me through it.
 
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