Having kids

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lovebug

New Member
Dec 26, 2009
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There's never a good time to have a kid. Just suck it up and do it.

In my experience there is a good time, thats when your in a happy, loving relationship and you feel like a little person would complete your family.

It amases me that so many people commit to having kids but rarely get married. If you get married and it doesnt work out you can get a divorce....if you have a child together and it doesnt work out, your linked to that person for the rest of your childs life.

Having a child can either make or break a relationship, they put extreme pressure on you both but if you work hard at it, it can bring lots of happiness. I personally think 2 is a nice number although I only have 1 at present :)
 

Igoy

dea ex machina
Jan 20, 2008
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In my experience there is a good time, thats when your in a happy, loving relationship and you feel like a little person would complete your family.

Pass the sickbag. ;)

I am aware that should be the ideal scenario for having children, but other things come into factor as well, such as cost, lifestyle etc. And with todays generation putting careers first, needing to work longer hours for less money, means it's not always feasible to provide for a child, whether you'd like to have one or not.

Just because you're skipping merrily in fields madly in love with somebody, does not always necessarily mean you can provide the stability needed for a child.
 

dragonfliet

I write stuffs
Apr 24, 2006
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1DsHG.jpg

IMG_20110427_163742.jpg
 

Sir_Brizz

Administrator
Staff member
Feb 3, 2000
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Pass the sickbag. ;)

I am aware that should be the ideal scenario for having children, but other things come into factor as well, such as cost, lifestyle etc. And with todays generation putting careers first, needing to work longer hours for less money, means it's not always feasible to provide for a child, whether you'd like to have one or not.

Just because you're skipping merrily in fields madly in love with somebody, does not always necessarily mean you can provide the stability needed for a child.
I agree with you, however, for lots of people these days having a child more means giving up their (by comparison) luxurious lifestyle and being serious about budgeting money and taking care of business at home.
 

Twisted Metal

Anfractuous Aluminum
Jul 28, 2001
7,122
3
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Long Island, NY
The earth isn't overpopulated. CERTAIN AREAS of the world are indeed densely packed and without the economic and social structures to beneficially manage such density, but there is plenty of land, plenty of opportunity for all the people in the world (if, again, properly managed). It's a problem worthy of serious consideration if you live in such an area, but all of the people posting on forums are within systems that are able to support and benefit multiple children.

I think people in NYC/Long Island need to stop breeding, or the government should sprinkle something in the air to make women infertile. It is completely disgusting how many people are here.
 

KaL976

*nubcake*
Nov 28, 2003
2,515
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Visit site
TLDR

Two hundred years ago-ish the global population was just under 2 billion.
Today it's getting on for 7 billion...

Makes my head hurt to hear people talking about managing 10 billion by 2050 :S
 

shadow_dragon

is ironing his panties!
Pass the sickbag. ;)

I am aware that should be the ideal scenario for having children, but other things come into factor as well, such as cost, lifestyle etc. And with todays generation putting careers first, needing to work longer hours for less money, means it's not always feasible to provide for a child, whether you'd like to have one or not.

Just because you're skipping merrily in fields madly in love with somebody, does not always necessarily mean you can provide the stability needed for a child.

No one is ready to have a child.

If folks decide they are ready to commit to each other enough to have a child then that's good enough a reason than any, call it "lovey-dovey-field-skipping" if you like but it's just a euphamism for an informed-as-any decision.

Certainly better than having one by accident.
 

Igoy

dea ex machina
Jan 20, 2008
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slave-riot.co.uk
No one is ready to have a child.

If folks decide they are ready to commit to each other enough to have a child then that's good enough a reason than any, call it "lovey-dovey-field-skipping" if you like but it's just a euphamism for an informed-as-any decision.

Certainly better than having one by accident.

You missed my point entirely. I've already said in a previous post nobody can ever be ready for a child, if it so happens one is on the way, you just have to adjust your life accordingly to make way for them.

And the "lovey-dovey-field-skipping" as you like to call it is NOT the only basis for having a child. If I met the most amazing man in my life today and wanted his children, but say he was unemployed due to the economic climate, we could definitely not afford to properly bring up this child on my wage alone. Having a kid just because you're in love is incredibly selfish if you don't have the right environment and financial support to back it up. Stop living in a dream world and start living with some practicality.
 

Zur

surrealistic mad cow
Jul 8, 2002
11,708
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Why have kids when the current consumer society has successfully infantalized everyone in the western world? They'll just be extra drones bringing money in to the banks.
 

lovebug

New Member
Dec 26, 2009
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It makes me laugh how people have such strong opinions on children, but they dont actually have any, they just assume they know what they are talking about. Welcome to BuF! :)
 

SkaarjMaster

enemy of time
Sep 1, 2000
4,870
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Sarasota, FL
I almost forgot that as a parent I'm supposed to warn people not to have kids. There is no instruction manual and if there was it would cover a whole wall of a book shelf. Life IS fair. Now you can't say no one ever told you life was fair and if someone ever asks you who ever told you life was fair you can now tell them, SkaarjMaster.;)
 

gopostal

Active Member
Jan 19, 2006
848
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Love is over-rated when it comes as a prerequisite to kids. You (and your child) are MUCH better served with an abundance of patience. I had my first kid at 21 and my last at 30 (I have three). No way was I prepared so young, I didn't have the patience for the job. Closer to 30 I realized stuff isn't as important as it seems and I learned to relax more.
 

theabyss

No One Here Gets Out Alive
Dec 3, 2005
1,669
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East Coast
Sorry bud, I have to disagree here. Not with the way you raise your kids, of course, but for your "love is over-rated" remark. I think love can never be overrated when it comes to children. I rather be a loving parent than a "well prepared" one. Kids don't mind if not everything is going how it is supposed to be, however, the lack of affection is one of the biggest threats to a stable upbringing
 

Capt.Toilet

Good news everyone!
Feb 16, 2004
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Sorry bud, I have to disagree here. Not with the way you raise your kids, of course, but for your "love is over-rated" remark. I think love can never be overrated when it comes to children. I rather be a loving parent than a "well prepared" one. Kids don't mind if not everything is going how it is supposed to be, however, the lack of affection is one of the biggest threats to a stable upbringing

This is what I got out of this. We are broke as balls since we had you, cannot afford to feed you more than once every few days, and you look like a twig, but daddy sure loves you.
 

theabyss

No One Here Gets Out Alive
Dec 3, 2005
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Why always assume the most extreme circumstances?
And most of us don't live in a third world country ...so the "...cannot afford to feed you more than once every few days..." is something you pulled right out of your ass. :lol:
 

gopostal

Active Member
Jan 19, 2006
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And most of us don't live in a third world country ...so the "...cannot afford to feed you more than once every few days..." is something you pulled right out of your ass. :lol:

Semantics aside, my wife is a grade school teacher and I'm a mailman. We see how people live first-hand and you couldn't be more wrong. I can assure you that the meal many kids get at school is the best they get. America does not equate with across-the-board prosperity especially in the lower-middle class. I know kids that literally depend on the weekend food put into their backpacks by the teachers.

In my wife's school if you can't pay for your lunch you get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There's a hell of a lot of PBnJ that gets served and we live in a decent city. Most people without hands-on experience have no idea how bad it is.

And about love versus patience, I stand by my position. I don't mean that love isn't important, I just think that patience is 'more' important. Love will always work itself out but having the ability to parent without submitting to impatience goes so dang far for your kids.
 

theabyss

No One Here Gets Out Alive
Dec 3, 2005
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East Coast
I am aware of that problem and it does affect quite a lot of families, however, I would not say that this is the norm. Of course it depends in which area you live.
What I am saying is if you are waiting for the perfect circumstances to raise a child, it will basically never be the right time. There is never a perfect time for it, even when you are financially secure. However, imo it is best not to have children when you are still young - it is like you said - most people are mentally not ready for it and I think in a relationship both should do, see and experience a lot of things first before becoming responsible for a child.
Patience? Yes, it is important, but it is just one of many "traits" you will be tested on while the kids grow up. I still think love is the most important one of those.