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Zur

surrealistic mad cow
Jul 8, 2002
11,708
8
38
48
There is nothing more satisfying than dumping a log. However, for some of us this is a remote possibility as the big job often ends up as some exploded mess on the inside of a toilet bowl. So what's your secret for solid poop ?
 

[GU]elmur_fud

I have balls of Depleted Uranium
Mar 15, 2005
3,148
31
48
45
Waco, Texas
mtbp.deviantart.com
INPOOPITABLY
i12415_inpoobitably.gif
 
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DeathBooger

Malcolm's Sugar Daddy
Sep 16, 2004
1,925
0
36
44
It's rather retarded to think you have to eat something special to poop normally. All you have to do is eat a balanced diet, not some processed empty promise in a box.
 

theabyss

No One Here Gets Out Alive
Dec 3, 2005
1,669
9
38
East Coast
Sleep!
Eat, go to sleep, wake up, drink coffee (important!), wait about 2 hours, then take a dump. Good poop has to ripen.

Def.: ripe:

...fully grown and developed
...brought by aging to full flavor or the best state
 
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[GU]elmur_fud

I have balls of Depleted Uranium
Mar 15, 2005
3,148
31
48
45
Waco, Texas
mtbp.deviantart.com
Sleep!
Eat, go to sleep, wake up, drink coffee (important!), wait about 2 hours, then take a dump. Good poop has to ripe.

Def.: ripe:

...fully grown and developed
...brought by aging to full flavor or the best state

You need the verb form of the word ripe. Which is of course... "ripen" ... just sayin'
 
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Firefly

United Kingdom is not a country.
Sleep!
Eat, go to sleep, wake up, drink coffee (important!), wait about 2 hours, then take a dump. Good poop has to ripen.

Def.: ripe:

...fully grown and developed
...brought by aging to full flavor or the best state

Now you need to change the definition of "ripe" to "ripen" as it is different.

rip·en (rpn)

To make or become ripe or riper; mature. See Synonyms at mature.
 

[GU]elmur_fud

I have balls of Depleted Uranium
Mar 15, 2005
3,148
31
48
45
Waco, Texas
mtbp.deviantart.com
There is nothing more satisfying than dumping a log. However, for some of us this is a remote possibility as the big job often ends up as some exploded mess on the inside of a toilet bowl. So what's your secret for solid poop ?

Solid poop is an admirable start but I think you should aim a bit higher. I personally am working toward being able to crack the bowl, the splash should get the feet wet of people in neighboring stalls, The smell should make eyes water and paint peel.

Someday I hope to be able cause a mass exodus from the bathroom merely by the sound and anybody who enters the bathroom for the next hour should be immediately caused to seriously consider just how bad they really need to go.

Of course the holy grail of defecation is to be able to cause a has-mat situation at the sewage treatment facility! To cause the national guard to evacuate the area! To rot and decay anything living downwind from your rectum! Children caught in small eddies off the main swath of carnage would have there growth stunted! Just a small whiff would ruin the taste of food for a month! Faux News would proclaim Armageddon! We're talking serious shit.