IRC quotes

you know, i spew embarrising quotes every thirty minutes.

Your quotes sux0rz!

I am teh master of IRC quotes!

We'll start with a few classics....

[AnF]04: i just had a black anus steak sub this morning
[AnF]04: angus
[AnF]Dank_Budz: LOL
[AnF]Pacman: yuck

poaw: Man, I remember seeing them live in concert, and they were wearing these really short shorts.....
poaw: ...and some of Lance's ball sweat landed on my tongue. That was the defining moment in my life

poaw: Time for some cold pizza
poaw: And then I shall wash it down with a 2 liter of cock

Kuroshio-Apocal[IWM]: Bobo, having a chick look at my crotch and laugh isnt worth much in my book
Kuroshio-Apocal[IWM]: i already get laughed at because i have a short dick

Thrash123: Yes, because they "reviewed the URLs and came to the decision that my User ID was being used to view pornographic material"
Thrash123: So I'm getting accused of trying 243 times to access porno
Dank_Budz: they must have seen goat sex

Goat: i just like to watch kids get murdered while crapping, is that so bad?

The_Fur: where do i fail again?

BadMojo: First off, you're the product of a failed abortion. Then your mother failed to drown you properly, only enhancing your retardation. Then you failed to develop inter-personal skills, a sense of a humour, and functioning testicles. After that, you completely failed to "have sex" or what I like to call "f<b></b>ucking." After which, you failed to enhance your brain to a proper level.

BadMojo: Then, you failed to make sensible arguements, failed to make funny statements, failed to win, and invariably you will try to shoot yourself in the skull and fail at that too, whereupon you will accidentally shoot two house cats and a small schoolgirl.

BadMojo: Then you will fail to make a logical case in court, where you will fail to be found innocent, and you will go to prison, where the only thing you will succeed at is being jail raped and then murdered by a fatman

BadMojo: Okay, let me rephrase: you will fail to properly protect your anus from a fatman in prison, and you will fail to have a knife-proof head, directly resulting in your subsequent failure to live

BadMojo: whereupon your organs will be donated to science, where your heart will fail, killing a small child, your lungs will fail, killing an elderly man, your liver will fail, killing a recovering alcoholic, and your kidneys will fail, making somebody pee everywhere

BadMojo: I'm f<b></b>ucking Fabio
[AnF]Dank_Budz: you're f<b></b>ucking fabio ?

sublime: Jotun Jiggles Judge Judy's Jello-like Jugs.

funkstylz: Theres no such thing as lesbian pics getting old. Spank yourself

Balli: the kid in the middle is getting his ass fingered
Balli: look at his face
jaunty: balli.. thats me, cockmonger

Donnellizer: Dude, my mom walked in on me masturbating to goat sex

BadMojo: I can't masturbate when I've been drinking
BadMojo: now I want to commit suicide

BadMojo: that's okay, my penis is only half a millimeter long
BadMojo: and it smells like ass
BadMojo: you need tweezers and a microscope to find it, I swear to god
BadMojo: Dank, you thought Balli had a small cock?
BadMojo: You can use mine to pick food out of your teeth
BadMojo: My penis is so small, even asians laugh at me

Balli: I'd lick the ass of someone with the ebola virus before I eat mcdonalds

Balli: mojo, go drink and get nice and belligerent and fight someone, rape someone, and then get into a car accident
Balli: dank will just toke up, listen to some music and not pass out

Oh man I can't forget the "ShadyMilkman Files"

This is probably THE funniest IRC private message conversation EVER!

Session Start: Tue Oct 02 23:19:53 2001
Session Ident: ShadyMilkman

ShadyMilkman: i know you are online
BadMojo: I'm sure you do
BadMojo: its not that complicated to type /whois BadMojo
ShadyMilkman: thats not how i got it
BadMojo: Okay, well, you know
ShadyMilkman: im not even on irc.utgames.com
BadMojo: Whatever bizarre online stalking game turns you on
BadMojo: And, by the way, if you're "not even on irc.utgames.com"
BadMojo: how the hell come it says you are?
BadMojo: Either the server's having an identity crisis, or you are
ShadyMilkman: i am on
ShadyMilkman: but
BadMojo: I vote for the latter, since you seem to be mildly schizophrenic
ShadyMilkman: another way
ShadyMilkman: lool
ShadyMilkman: im not gonna stalk u
BadMojo: No, you're not going to stalk me, you're just going to randomly message me saying "I know you're online"
BadMojo: You ever heard the story about the babysitter and the ax murderer in the attic?
ShadyMilkman: lol
BadMojo: HINT: THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE
BadMojo: you whacko
BadMojo: what a weirdo
ShadyMilkman: i dont care
ShadyMilkman: i still know whose oline
BadMojo: Which is pretty much tantamount to stalking
ShadyMilkman: okay will u just stop saying dumb stuff to me
ShadyMilkman: and annoy me
BadMojo: Which really impresses me, your rambling incoherency, propensity for lies about little things like being "not even on irc.utgames.com" when you really are (the cleverness of it all!) and this whacky cyber-internet-super-information-digital-highway stalking has me utterly convinced you belong in a nuthouse
BadMoj: Do you want to be my official stalker?
ShadyMilkman: sure
BadMojo: I want to be famous, you see, and every celebraty needs a psycho to stalk them and sit outside their window masturbating and writing love poems like "Roses Are Red, I love you, if you don't love me, I'll kill your family"
ShadyMilkman: WILL U JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
BadMojo: I'm confused, you seemed to be the one who messaged me informing me you were merrily stalking me, skulking about in the bushes outside my house and piercing your anus with god knows what sort of rusty implement

Session Close: Tue Oct 02 23:45:44 2001


Session Start: Wed Oct 03 00:36:38 2001
Session Ident: ShadyMilkman

BadMojo: I know you're online
ShadyMilkman: so
BadMojo: So i know you're online
BadMojo: I'm not even irc.utgames.com
BadMojo: I miss you, buddy
BadMojo: you and your whacky shenanigans make me excited in a severely perverted way
BadMojo: would it be possible for us to move to Hawaii and get married?
BadMojo: We can make love after a wonderful luau, and then sacrifice a virgin to Pele, the volcano goddess, who happens to be named after Pele, the soccer god
BadMojo: I'm assuming you've stopped loving me, so I'll sing you a song to serenade you
BadMojo: Shaaaaaaaaaaaaady Milkman
BadMojo: You come to my door, change my milk caaaannnnnnnn
BadMojo: OooooOooOOooOOooOOoOOh you shady milkman
BadMojo: I'm your number onnnnnnnnnnne faaannnnnnnnn
BadMojo: Do you like it?
BadMojo: I plan to market it on an album called "Ode to a shady milk man: Serenading the Love of my Life" by Celine Dion

Session Close: Wed Oct 03 00:59:26 2001

...
[01:41:23] O4: Ohh really? I had sex with a donkey once.
[01:41:28] Blade_Barrier: punks werent scary, cool people, just anti-monarchy
[01:41:33] Blade_Barrier: i not kiddin
...
[01:41:46] O4: nor am i

O4: strange..I just found a picture of Jenny McCarthy taking a ****
Dank_Budz: is it real?
Dank_Budz: or a fake?
Dank_Budz: link, 04?
Dank_Budz: LET ME SEE GOD DAMN IT!


<hr>
[02:24:46] Owl: you into bestiality, dank?
[02:25:02] Dank_Budz :yes owl

Owl: can you crack www.geicandyasslittleboys.com for me, 04?

I threw this in the topic the other day. It amused me in a strange way:

Topic for #infiltration (irc.utgames.com)
'There is no such thing as a stupid question, although there are however plenty of inquisitive idiots.'

I knew dank was gonna have the longest post here.

Anyways, here's some random quotes I've collected over the months...


[BMA]BadMojo: Back in the 6th grade, I was the kid that mooned people
[BMA]BadMojo: then I showed them my penis
[BMA]BadMojo: and beat off in front of them
[BMA]BadMojo: Then I paid a 2nd grader to suck my nipples

[BMA]BadMojo: I always wanted to commit the sin of incest
[BMA]BadMojo: I'd f<b></b>uck my sister, she's damn hot

BadMojo: I have leprosy of the cockwang, so I hold mine on with duct tape

Dank_Budz: send me some kiddy porn you bastards !

Donnellizer: I wish I could shove my penis into a dog

Dank_Budz: one question though curtz....
Dank_Budz: do you brush your teeth ?

Goat: i have some vivid pictures of preteen boys getting dead kittens stuffed up their rectum, im sure you will like come to like them Danky

Goat: ARGH! i cant take this any longer!...excuse me while i go out to the bone ward, and find a nice damp, moldy skull with a sizable eye socket to ejaculate in

DENSRAW: When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

MetalMickey: ive given a guy a blowjob

Goat: but is $64 really so much for the anus that could eat a horse?

Donnellizer: I know, because a whistling cock has been in my ass

Curtz: I am an ignorant brit with bad teeth, excuse my ignorance

I haven't been on IRC in years, but here are two quotes from my guildchannel in EverQuest:





(Dmitry = gnome wizard, Asadd = high elf wizard, and a known *******)

Oh, and an OLD screenshot:

Ma current favorite

Delta: i still believe real niggaz cant swim and real crackkkaz cant jump
Zero_fouR: i can jusmp
Zero_fouR: jump even
Delta: then you aint a real crackkka
Jereem: I cant jump, an I can swim :O
Jereem: FU<b></b>CK
Zero_fouR: heh
Jereem: Im not ghetto niggaz
Delta: fu<b></b>ck you jereem
Delta: you cant swin
Delta: swim
Delta: you just say you can

Gholam, are you on E'ci?

EDIT: Yup...just found you. I'm on E'ci too. Names: Spuff Nuffendud, Budu Badabing, and Spleenky Weenky. I'm currently with The White Cross, but I've also been with Lore Keepers, Kneebiters of Norrath ( ) and Guardians of the Four Corners if you've heard of them.

Woot E ci, Rifler Bringerofthedeaed (GM's havent chaged it yet hehe) and the former Guitarman Damanaman (GM changesd it to Gailiardian Damanaman ) also Blore and Rlak

Said by someone, i don't remember who, Dank, Pac, or some other person who used to like me said:

"Don't mind Chan, he's just 'animated'..." or something like that...

interesting conversation

:07] Zero_fouR netzero isnt available here
:08] ShrapNL ohh ...that explains a lot of thing
:08] DENSRAW only one hour and a half left til david letterman comes on!
:08] ShrapNL wtf ? somebody registered me to a lot of spam and commercial things
:10] Act Holy ****... its 1:05
:10] ShrapNL true
:10] Balli umm
:10] Balli letterman = teh gei
:10] Act What time did we start playing?
:10] Balli letterman = teh tooth-gap gei
:10] ShrapNL don'T remember ...but it last about an hour
:10] Zero_fouR haha
:10] ShrapNL lol
:10] Act Eat a dick.
:10] Zero_fouR tooth-gap
:10] Act lol
:10] Kill_Whitey :]
:10] Act Time flys...
:10] ShrapNL like a bee
:10] Balli when you're as seksi as me
:11] ShrapNL lol
:11] DENSRAW i masturbate to david letterman
:10] Balli .......
:11] Act I remeber wheN i was like, "Well since I have no life, and no girlfriend I think I am going to sit at home on this lovely Friday night. To bad it's only 9:00 tonight is oging to go by so slow."
:11] ShrapNL i know...dank told us the other day
:11] Balli Ima go have diarrhea for about 10 straight minutes
:12] Act LOL balli
:12] DENSRAW did you listen to the song asshat
:13] ShrapNL he told us you masturbate to Apu too
:14] DENSRAW lol
:14] DENSRAW i was there for that
:14] ShrapNL yeah
:15] Act I masturbate to **********
:15] ShrapNL this thing is disgusting
:15] ShrapNL even for goat
:16] Act lol
:16] Balli uhhh
:16] Balli you think Im kidding
:16] Balli I think I just **** out part of my spleen
:16] Act LOL!
:16] Zero_fouR (dfg@ACA4CE84.ipt.aol.com) is now known as Allah
:16] Balli :[
:17] Allah I AM ALLAH!
:17] Balli heh
:17] Allah KILL YOURSELF!
:17] Balli bid laden is hidding in your ass!
:17] ShrapNL I don't care,im catholic
:17] Balli thats when he has been all along
:17] Allah OJAGABA JUJUDJUDO!
:17] ShrapNL that why he stinks so much
:17] Balli 12[14MP3 Player12]12 12[4 Hoobastank_-_Crawling_In_The_Dark.MP3 12]12 12[4 4.01Mb 12]12
:18] Balli hehe
:18] Allah I HAEV GHOT TEH OSAMA IHN MAE BUHT!
:18] Balli :]]
:18] ShrapNL want laxatives ?
:18] Balli I need em too :[
:18] Allah ill try to poop him out
:18] ShrapNL lol
:18] Allah *GRUNT*
:18] Act lol
:18] Allah *GRUNT*
:18] Balli dens, some of this sounds like boyband music
:18] ShrapNL harder Allah harder !
:18] Allah damn- he's a biggun
:19] DENSRAW (YoYo365@12-236-105-14.client.attbi.com) is now known as Christ
:19] Christ stop this nonsense
:19] ShrapNL (holy_west@Montreal-ppp-89835.qc.sympatico.ca) is now known as Bouddha
:19] Balli (****face@ool-18be38fd.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Negro
:19] Bouddha lol
:19] Christ lol
:19] * Allah punches Negro
:19] Negro :]
:19] * Bouddha punches Allah
:19] * Christ helps Allah kick the **** out of Negro
:19] * Bouddha : don't touch to hte negro
:19] Negro der, they're called negroes cuz their knees grow
:19] Act lol
:20] Bouddha lol
:20] Negro ;p
:20] Act (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as WASP
:20] WASP Party.
:20] * Christ turns water into anthrax
:20] * Allah produces a 500,000mph osama-poop rocket from ass, killing Bouddha
:20] WASP Where is Jew?
:20] Negro hehe
:20] Bouddha white anglo saxon ... whats the other word ?
:20] Negro me points @ Christ
:20] WASP Is he here tonight?
:20] Negro Christ = jew!
:20] WASP Protistant.
:20] Bouddha protestant ?
:20] Negro Christ = carpenter jew!
:20] WASP Yea.
:20] Negro get his ass!
:20] WASP lol
:20] Negro eer his azz rather
:20] Bouddha (holy_west@Montreal-ppp-89835.qc.sympatico.ca) is now known as fanatism
:20] * Christ is teh master jew
:20] Negro nah mean?
:20] * WASP is white.
* Negro is blacka den hell!
:21] fanatism lol
:21] Christ Break yoself!
:21] WASP lol
:21] Christ I am black
:21] * Christ is a black man
:21] Negro I'd break my **** dick over yo fo'head!
:21] * Christ is King of the Jews
:21] fanatism im white
:21] Allah KILL YOURSELF!
:21] * Christ likes recieving head
:21] WASP lol
:22] WASP LOL
:22] WASP ,,,
:22] WASP ****
:22] fanatism (holy_west@Montreal-ppp-89835.qc.sympatico.ca) is now known as white
:22] Negro (****face@ool-18be38fd.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Kill_Whitey
:22] * Christ wants head from Negro
:22] Allah haha
:22] Kill_Whitey :]
:22] Christ I don't like white people
:22] Kill_Whitey I dont like sand people
:22] Christ i don't do the swirl like Dank's parents
:22] Kill_Whitey hehe
:22] white lol
:22] Kill_Whitey only injuns do that
:22] WASP lol
:22] Allah I LIKE DUNE COONS!
:22] Delta hey all
:22] Christ ****ing buffalo jockeys
:22] Kill_Whitey lol
:23] Kill_Whitey sup necka?
:23] WASP (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Chink
:23] Chink So...
:23] Chink What's new?
:23] Kill_Whitey it's Fuct!
:23] Kill_Whitey get him
(07%) Dank_Budz changes topic to ' One time me and Osama Bin Laden had a threesome with a camel!'
:23] Chink LOL
:23] Kill_Whitey LOL
:23] Delta getting sobber
:23] Kill_Whitey Im about to go toke :]
:23] Allah haha! look at the names list
:23] Kill_Whitey lol
:23] Chink LOL!
:23] Kill_Whitey this is a special moment in irc history
:24] Allah haha
:24] Kill_Whitey when all races and creeds get together and bond
:24] Dank_Budz (Dank@24-240-48-7.hsacorp.net) is now known as Buddha
:24] Chink Vely funy.
:24] Allah wow- ima save this one
:24] Kill_Whitey or should that be bong?
:24] Chink Velly funnnnny.
:24] Buddha there
:24] Kill_Whitey ya, let's all bong instead
:24] Allah haha
:24] Delta (cb4life@node13c6f.a2000.nl) is now known as Black_Trash
:24] Buddha lol
:24] Kill_Whitey lol
:24] Buddha nice
:24] Christ my dad says i wrestle to much in bed with him
:24] Chink LOL
:24] white (holy_west@Montreal-ppp-89835.qc.sympatico.ca) is now known as Majjhong
:24] Buddha haha
:24] Chink (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Anti-Christ
:24] Kill_Whitey wtf
:24] Allah ?
:24] Kill_Whitey that's sick dens
:24] Anti-Christ ...
:24] Kill_Whitey lol
:25] Christ who is dens?
:25] Allah seriously
:25] Kill_Whitey heh
:25] Christ i am teh master
:25] Kill_Whitey my butthole is practically on fire
:25] Anti-Christ LOL!
:25] Anti-Christ LOL!
:25] Kill_Whitey :[
:25] Christ HAHAHA
:25] Allah i have ghot teh osama ihn mae buht!
:25] Anti-Christ (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Anus
:25] Kill_Whitey I need some ice or something
:25] Anus (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as My
:25] * My anus is on fire.
:25] My bahaaahaha
:25] Christ stick you butt in the freezer my blessed one
:25] Kill_Whitey hehe
:25] Kill_Whitey
:25] My Ahh
:26] My (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Your
:26] Your ...
:26] Kill_Whitey use underscore f00
:26] Your I'll underscore you.
:26] Kill_Whitey Ill **** your family
:26] Allah KILL YOURSELF!
:26] * Your Your anus tastes like butter.
:26] * Your Dank is a faggot.
:26] Your hahahaj
:26] Kill_Whitey hehe dumbass
:26] Majjhong lol
:27] Christ And Mary said to them "Blessed are the old men, for they will have me first tonight"
:27] * Your Act has a 14" cock.
:27] Kill_Whitey only 2 inches are visible though
:27] Majjhong should be you not your you ****head
:27] * Your I bet Mary was a slut.
:27] Your What should be?
* Kill_Whitey ****s some loose afghan sluts
:27] Your Is my nick showing up?
:27] Allah NO!
:27] Kill_Whitey >:]
:28] Your Good.
:28] Majjhong kill whitney is balli
:28] Allah teh afghan sluts are teh my hoes!
:28] Your (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Act
:28] Christ afghan girls aren't hot
:28] Allah yeh they are
:28] Kill_Whitey their cooters are!
:28] Christ and their pussies stink
:28] Allah hahaha
:28] * Christ knows this
:28] Buddha lol
:28] Act ...
:28] Black_Trash balli
:28] Majjhong lolllll
:28] Act What does it say m nick is?
:28] Act Help, help.
:28] Majjhong act
:28] Kill_Whitey yes, cuz christ/dens is an afghan women!
:28] Black_Trash you were talking bout hydro
:28] Act Hmm...
:28] Black_Trash ?
:28] Kill_Whitey yup
:28] Allah this has to be the most interesting irc conversation ever
:28] Black_Trash what bout it
:28] Kill_Whitey I got a ****load
:29] Black_Trash nice
:29] Christ (YoYo365@12-236-105-14.client.attbi.com) is now known as DENSRAW
:29] Act (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as _
:29] Kill_Whitey ya, but it's different from normal bud
:29] _ **** THIS
:29] Black_Trash how much ?
:29] Majjhong (holy_west@Montreal-ppp-89835.qc.sympatico.ca) is now known as underscore
:29] Quits: _ (~Snak@ool-182d236b.dyn.optonline.net) (I'm too sexy for you.)
:29] Kill_Whitey different taste and smell, very different high
:29] DENSRAW BALLI! LISTEN TO THE SONG!
:29] Black_Trash how much ?
:29] Kill_Whitey I originally had 12 big ass vials
:29] * Allah ****s some afghan bitches....*GRUNT*
:29] Kill_Whitey I did dens
:29] Kill_Whitey I told you it sounds like boyband music at some parts
(07%) Buddha changes topic to 'IRC History - http://forums.beyondunreal.com/show...threadid=98303'
:30] Kill_Whitey Im down to like 7 now delta
:30] Black_Trash 7 vials
:30] Kill_Whitey yup
:30] Black_Trash vials ?
:30] Kill_Whitey I gave my connection 3
:30] Black_Trash vials for weed ?
:30] Kill_Whitey lol ya
:30] Kill_Whitey 'dro comes in vials here
:31] Kill_Whitey always has
:31] underscore starnge
:31] Black_Trash wtf
:31] Kill_Whitey keep the crystals from gettin ****ed up
:31] underscore weed come in bag here
:31] DENSRAW i can't hear it balli?
:31] Kill_Whitey ya, weed comes in bags here
:31] Buddha thats a good way to store
:31] DENSRAW i mean
:31] Buddha it
:31] Black_Trash underscare where you from ?
:31] DENSRAW i can't hear it balli
:31] Kill_Whitey hydro comes in vials
:31] underscore (holy_west@Montreal-ppp-89835.qc.sympatico.ca) is now known as ShrapNL
:31] Buddha in glass vials
:31] Black_Trash score
:31] ShrapNL quebec
:31] Kill_Whitey hear what?
:31] Black_Trash quebec
:31] Kill_Whitey see, dank knows
:31] Black_Trash where that at
:32] Kill_Whitey (****face@ool-18be38fd.dyn.optonline.net) is now known as Balli
:32] Black_Trash that a coutry or a city
:32] ShrapNL canada lol
:32] Black_Trash ?
:32] Black_Trash aight
:32] ShrapNL both a province and a city
:32] Balli capital too?
:32] DENSRAW i can't hear the boy band parts you talked about
:32] Balli I hate canada

and people wonder why I'm idle 70% of the time in #inf...

[21:11] Nolan4_20: Well, people that are social tend to act younger than people who sit in there room and jack off all day

<Goat> RAGE AGAINST THE OWL!
<OwlofDoom> rage against my anus, pleaze, goat.

[22:58] *Owl* and goat, you shoulda made this mod about the rioting against vietnam
[22:58] *Owl* so i could be a violent hippie.
[22:59] * Iceman hits owl on the head..."I HATE HIPPIES!"
[22:59] *Iceman* hippies = bad
...............
[23:05] *Owl* and what does iceman have agaisnt hippies?
[23:05] *Owl* did a bunch of hippies molest him?

This was a few minutes ago in #p19 .

Iceman.

DIE HIPPIES!!!