Rate the Last Movie You Watched

Metamorphosis: very bad/10

The intention was to watch "metamorphosis: the alien factor", which is also a bad movie, but in the way that (imho) it's fun. And I like the fact they worked on the monster models. There' some story and acting to it. But that's that movie...
Metamorphosis, however...

I really don't know why I watched this? Lately I've been feeling like watching all sorts of b-movies (mildly influenced by redletter media's "best of worst" ..).
However this one, it was all terrible. The acting, the "story" which is a complete mess, the "monster suit". Oh boy, you have to see that bit. It would've looked ok in a 50s movie, but in 1990?
I think the acting is what annoyed me most. It was so dull, emotionless. A cardboard replacement could've done a better job.
This movie is also a rip of off the fly. Nothing makes sense, the ending is the most nonsensical bit (and also most ridiculous and baffling). I'd rate this as a z-movie.
Shrug.. maybe it's not as bad as transformers 4...

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - 9/10

The predecessor was surprisingly good but the sequel is better in every way.

Starcrash:

I honestly don't know where to begin with this "movie", but let me say that I had tons of fun watching it. Mainly because NONE of it made any sense! Nothing did! It was so ridiculous! Everything looked as if it had bathed in the wicked mind of some lsd addicted hippy? So many bright colours. Those stars, green..blue.. purple..red...the design of those spacehips.. trippy as hell.
And it felt as if this movie had been written by a couple of ten year olds. Whenever someone ran into an obstacle, or came close to getting killed... something really weird happened to overcome their trouble. A superpower, a ehm.. ehmm...robot..guy..protecting a chick's heartrate.. simply by holding her hand.. while the temperature on an icy planet plummeted to several thousands of degrees (haha).
Eh, ehmm, like I said, nothing made sense.

I was nearly in tears, laughing so hard when the emperor's soldiers invaded the eh... count's (?) ehm.. spacestation? That hand thing.The emperor's soldiers bust in through the glass windows in some sort of bullet shaped errr..I don't know? Metal cigars? Pods? Anyway, they approach the count's spacestation on full speed (by no means of any propulsion) crash through the window and fall down. There's no suction, outside there is no vacuum. And apparently there's air in space? Or isn't there? It's equally pressurized .. no I mustn't try make any sense because my brain will melt...
So much for respecting the laws of nature. But silly me, it's the future. Anything is possabal in the future becuz peopelz haev tecnolgoly and superpowars that maeks spaes behaev diffrantly becuz the can lol! Take that evil count! Bam! Die! No, here's my ultimate wepon of doomz! No! Here's my floating city that will destroy ur spaec station! It's the only way!...
As I said, written by a ten year old. Or some mentally retarded lsd hippies.

Shit acting again, but not as obnoxious as in "metamorphosis". Laughable, but fun. The hoff plays the part of some prince.. and eh.. he does stuff.
There's also plenty of ideas ripped from other sci-fi movies (thinking of the blatant lightsaber rip)

What really dissapointed me was the amazonian scene. Plenty of scantilly clad women, AND NO LESBIAN SCENE????!!! I MEAN REALLY.. DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF???
Well, that's a another point deducted from the score.

I think they also ripped some scenes from an oddyseus movie from the 50s. The one with the giant statue f.e.

Strange, bad movie. But so bad it's funny. Extreme fun in some regards.

4/10. Added a point for fun factor.

Starcrash:

I honestly don't know where to begin with this "movie", but let me say that I had tons of fun watching it. Mainly because NONE of it made any sense! Nothing did! It was so ridiculous! Everything looked as if it had bathed in the wicked mind of some lsd addicted hippy? So many bright colours. Those stars, green..blue.. purple..red...the design of those spacehips.. trippy as hell.
And it felt as if this movie had been written by a couple of ten year olds. Whenever someone ran into an obstacle, or came close to getting killed... something really weird happened to overcome their trouble. A superpower, a ehm.. ehmm...robot..guy..protecting a chick's heartrate.. simply by holding her hand.. while the temperature on an icy planet plummeted to several thousands of degrees (haha).
Eh, ehmm, like I said, nothing made sense.

I was nearly in tears, laughing so hard when the emperor's soldiers invaded the eh... count's (?) ehm.. spacestation? That hand thing.The emperor's soldiers bust in through the glass windows in some sort of bullet shaped errr..I don't know? Metal cigars? Pods? Anyway, they approach the count's spacestation on full speed (by no means of any propulsion) crash through the window and fall down. There's no suction, outside there is no vacuum. Apparently there's an atmosphere in space, equal to the one we have here on earth ? Or isn't there? But it must be equally pressurized because nobody gets sucked out through the borked glass window and .. no I mustn't try make any sense because my brain will melt...
So much for respecting the laws of nature. But silly me, it's the future. Anything is possabal in the future becuz peopelz haev tecnolgoly and superpowars that maeks spaes behaev diffrantly becuz the can lol! Take that evil count! Bam! Die! No, here's my ultimate wepon of doomz! No! Here's my floating city that will destroy ur spaec station! It's the only way!...
As I said, written by a ten year old. Or some mentally retarded lsd hippies.

Shit acting again, but not as obnoxious as in "metamorphosis". Laughable, but fun. The hoff plays the part of some prince.. and eh.. he does stuff.
There's also plenty of ideas ripped from other sci-fi movies (thinking of the blatant lightsaber rip)

What really dissapointed me was the amazones scene. Plenty of scantilly clad women, AND NO LESBIAN SCENE????!!! I MEAN REALLY.. DOUBLE YOU TEE EFF???
Well, that's a another point deducted!

I think they also ripped some scenes from an oddyseus movie from the 50s. The one with the giant statue f.e.

They also reuse countless of shots. F.e. a fighter leaving the big spaceship's hangar bay. They probably used one shot in particular at least... 7-8 in a row iirc. But it wasn't obvious at all. no sir.
The robot guy was the comic relief of this movie. Or was it the entire movie? The robot guy failed at being the comic relief, and at the same time he was.

Strange, bad movie. But so bad it's funny. Extreme fun in some regards.

4/10. Added a point for fun factor.

Wreck it Ralph - 7/10

Finally got around to watching it. Relatively predictable, but quirky and overall entertaining enough.

Pacific Rim - 7/10

Was expecting an entirely vacuous monsters vs giant robots flick, and wasn't disappointed. Reasonably well directed (some great cinematography), not too badly written. Intended to be a modern Kaiju film, yet still has way more depth than anything involving Michael Bay.

The Iron Giant - 9/10

They don't make kids films like this any more. This is a fairly old animated film, clearly produced at the height of the cold war - the political overtones are very obvious, but it's an otherwise smartly written, and for the period, very well animated film about a boy who befriends a giant robot in the forest, and tries to hide it from the authorities who suspect is may be a Soviet threat.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole 6/10

Expected complete shite, but was actually a little surprised. This is a fairly stereotypical high-fantasy film with a plot that would feel very at home as a part of Tolkein's world - except the characters are all owls. I was expecting a kids film, but this was actually fairly dark and involved a fair amount of violence.

Black Swan - 9/10

Often described as drama, I would put this film further into the old-school horror category. It starts off very slowly, but comes together very quickly towards the end as Natalie Portman's character further declines into schizophrenia and psychosis. Very good film, highly recommended - but also very disturbing, so perhaps not ideal for the fainter of heart.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) [2D, Aug-01-2014]
The latest in the Marvel universe is full of adrenaline rush and surprises with the plot that matters, fantastic visuals, character designs, cosmic landscapes, and fast-paced action complex. It was based on the 2008 version of the same name (not 1969) involving five unlikely superheroes -- the human leader, green alien chick, green-skinned red-tattooed behemoth, genetically tough talking raccoon, and a muscled walking tree. Guardians of the Galaxy might be another favorite installment in the Marvel universe so far; it's an strangely unknown property but sometimes turned into a potential for what fans really excited about. Needed to say more?

• James Gunn's vibrant direction. The guy who brought Slither and Super might something become a "A-list" star very soon.
• Sequences of proud comic tones, Groot's only one line "I AM GROOT" thing just can't stop laugh, and the relationship between him and Rocket are just worth it.
• Chris Pratt is as amazing as Star-Lord/Peter Quill should be and Karen Gillan's sinister Nebula really interests me.
• Lee Pace's portrayal of Ronan the Accuser isn't really powerful but sometimes eccentrically decent villain.
• Josh Brolin's voice performance of Thanos is intriguing although a very small appearance. Future MCU releases featuring this guy coming your way! (But just a small part.)
• Love some classic tracks from Quill's "awesome mix" tape including Blue Swede's Hooked on a Feeling, The Runaways' Cherry Bomb, and others.

Grade: A

ambershee said:

The Iron Giant - 9/10

They don't make kids films like this any more. This is a fairly old animated film, clearly set at the height of the cold war - the political overtones are very obvious, but it's an otherwise smartly written, and for the period, very well animated film about a boy who befriends a giant robot in the forest, and tries to hide it from the authorities who suspect is may be a Soviet threat.

Click to expand...

FTFY.

The film was released in 1999.

It is one of the finest animated features ever to have come from a western studio and my only regret is that the script chickens out a bit at the end and lays the blame for the paranoia (and consequential actions) on an individual and not the society. Even so, the studio gave it the Firefly treatment and it did very poorly at the box office.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Given James Gunn's pedigree for mean-spirited wanna-be Joss Whedon fiction, this movie is a pleasant surprise. Solid popcorn flick, made me laugh and smile, just downright entertaining through-and-through. I can't really say more than that. Was just fun.

We are Groot.

Lucy (2014) [Aug-06-2014]
Grade: B

Guardians of the Galaxy - 8/10

When this was first announced I was expecting complete garbage, in the end it turned out to be a solid piece of entertainment!

The villain is a bit on the weak side and isn't very memorable. The soundtrack is cool, CGI is good and the acting is pretty decent, especially from Chris Pratt who plays the main character.

I'd say the first half of the movie was better than the second. The talking racoon is hillarious and their comments towards the tree guy are just great. Loved the references to Kevin Bacon and Footloose.

The Expendables 3 (2014) [Cinema, Aug-13-2014]
Grade: B+