Location: and face the mirror I still have to face
Originally Posted by Trynant
Too Human is a wonderful game. It's made by this godly company called Silicon Knights, and as far as I can tell there is no single flaw that ever arised from this game, except that those Satanic minions at Epic Games RUINED THE BEST GAME OF ALL TIME. Well, at least Epic tried to do that, but could they really succeed in stopping the pinnacle of gaming that is Too Human? Of course not. Why the **** would you ask me to hate on such a sublime experience? You really are low people. Now excuse me while I fellate Denis Dyack.
Legends of Equestria is a terrible game. It looks like ****, it looks like it plays like ****, and it seems to only be popular because it's pandering to the brony audience. Worst of all it's still in alpha and not available for download. I WANT TO BE A PRETTY PONY DAMMIT.
"I go where the games are." -Scott Ramsoomair my blog
I've been busy because games are terrible. I will continue my hate.
Originally Posted by SleepyHe4d
Secret of Mana
Secret of Mana is a terrible game. It is a Chrono Trigger wannabe, except it had this crack-pot notion of being real-time. PFFFF. Like that made any JRPG better.
Illusion of Gaia
Illusion of Gaia is a terrible game. I remember watching this game as a kid and thinking to myself, "One day, I'll grow up to be a pathetic human being and will make myself feel better by thinking about how terrible this game is and writing about it to other people." So actually, this game made my dream come true, except it was just a stupid thought and not an aspiration. Therefor Illusion of Gaia can't make your dreams come true and is a terrible game as such.
Secret of Evermore
Secret of Evermore is a terrible game. It's somehow related to the Secret of Mana, but I don't know if it's a crappy sequel or a crappy predecessor so I GUESS IT'S A SECRET TO ME. Anyways, if Secret of Mana was already **** then this can't be any better.
Seiken Densetsu 3
This is a terrible game because it's in weeaboo language and therefor can't have been a good enough game to be Englished. Yes, I just used English as a verb in past tense. That's how terrible this game is. I hate the number 3 as well. **** you.
Final Fantasy 6
Final Fantasy 6 is a terrible game. It's like Chrono Trigger in that everyone is going OH WOW WHAT A GREAT JRPG FROM THE SNES ERA DON'T YOU WISH JRPG'S WERE STILL GOOD I'M GOING TO CRY INTO MY TERA BODY PILLOW NOW. Please. JRPGs were definitely more terrible in the SNES days and nobody realized how terrible they were until people tried the same stupid **** in modern era and it became obviously terrible. Final Fantasy 6 can't even get its numbers straight; in the NA version it's #3. I hate the number 3, therefor this game is terrible.
Paper Mario is a terrible game. I can't describe any particular reason, but as far as the story--all the characters seem too...2-dimensional. And the game as a whole falls flat. And the game feels like it cuts and pastes ideas into a collage of paper-thin ideas. Anyways...
Super Metroid is a terrible game. It may be the most terriblest game ever made. It has these...pixels. And platforms. And you jump on them. And you get lost and **** and think about how your childhood friend was terrorized by his drunken father who scammed your parents and fled the country and took away your best friend and then you think how ****ty your life was after all that time and how I was diagnosed with a mental illness and strapped on medications that I was hesitanttousebutthengotusedtoitovertimeiguessthat'swhyalcoholisokaynowbecausedrugsaren'tallbadandit' saviciouscycleandi'llalwaysthinkbacktothesimplertimeswhereiwasplayingsupermetroid. Anyways. Terrible game.
Fallout is a terrible game. I used to like it, but then I had a ......falling out with it.
Fallout 3 is a terrible game. It's not even really Fallout as much as The Elderscrolls MLXII: Nuclear Post-Apocalypse Edition . It's the same ****ty engine with guns strapped on, and you don't even shoot them because you just turn on VATS while you pretend to care about the story with the ****ty facial animations telling you about your daddy issues. What a wash.
Deus Ex is a terrible game. If you can get past how utterly UGLY this game is (it's like someone ran the Unreal Engine through a trash compactor of foul human excretions), then you'll be pleased to find its buggy gameplay that is semi-responsive. Oh, and supposedly there's some deep story of some sort and good level design or character progression, but can all of that really shine through the ****ty foundation Deus Ex is built on? That was a rhetorical question. Of course not. What a terrible thing.
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Originally Posted by HugoMarques
I bet this one is gonna be another wonderful game...
Of course not! Deus Ex: Invisible War is a terrible game. But I can't think of anything terrible about it at the moment because I was stroking my Too Human. Hold on...one second. Umm...Ungh....Erggh....
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
AAAAYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH. Anyways. Deus Ex: Human Revolution is a terrible game. It tries to relive the former glory of Deus Ex, but anything that that old terrible game did right even this new version ****ed up. Like modern games can ever succeed at living the glory days of the SNES JRPGs. ALL HAIL GLORIOUS NIPPON AND CRONO
Originally Posted by NeoNite
Quest for glory I
Quest for Glory is a terrible game. It's the beginning of a terrible series. You do little more than point and click and hope that whatever stupid **** you couldn't possibly know about is actually the right thing to click on. Thankfully this game is mostly forgotten except that there's, like, some moose in Magicka referencing this game.
Originally Posted by MrMaddog
Pac-Man is a terrible game. It was made before GLORIOUS SNES JRPG DAYS, therefor it is automatically terrible. Oh, elaboration. It has no story, is little more than ugly seizure-causing lines, and caused a generation to rave and die to ghosts. This game is still the #1 reason people try to fight ghosts and die. Also fruits. Fruits are terrible.
...cuz I gotta go old school
Old school is terrible. You should go to the new school. It's slightly less terrible. Except when it's worse than old school. **** games.
"I go where the games are." -Scott Ramsoomair my blog