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Old 25th Aug 2003, 04:06 PM   #1
Olethros
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Laughing And even more geek humor: LAN people.

http://lotl.cc/humor/lanpeople.php

I think they've got most of us INFers' number:

The Exot: While everyone else is playing Counterstrike, Q3 or UT, this guy tries to get others to play games that they never heard about. Action HL, Codename: Eagle and Battlezone 2 are apparently god's gift to gamers, and must be played and adored by every attendant of the LAN party. If everyone's lucky, there will be multiple exot's on a LAN, because then they'll hole up in a corner and stop bothering everyone because they are too busy playing unknown games and feeling 3l33t.
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Old 25th Aug 2003, 04:17 PM   #2
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so true

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Mr. One Game: Has a huge collection of games, but claims to have beaten them all and that they all suck. He refuses to play anything but one certain game (usually CS). And will resort to playing by himself while the rest of the people play another game, thus defeating the entire premise behind a LAN party.
my hole last lan consisted of these guys. there was just me and fuor or five others most of the time (out of 60 ppl)
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Old 25th Aug 2003, 04:33 PM   #3
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Reading that list reminded me why I stopped going to LANs.
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Old 25th Aug 2003, 07:38 PM   #4
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The Dream Crusher: She enjoys Counter-Strike, Q3A, C&C:RA, Starcraft, Diablo, AOE II, UT, Anime, Action Movies, Star Trek, Star Wars. Is a math major, has a kickass computer, has no boyfriend and is really smart, funny and cute. Characteristics: Is a Lesbian. Fly away, nerd.
SaraP?







just kidding, just kidding...put the shotty away
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Old 25th Aug 2003, 07:42 PM   #5
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"What do you do when you run out of room at the lan party?"

http://lotl.cc/humor/images/hangemhigh.jpg
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Old 25th Aug 2003, 09:31 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keganator
"What do you do when you run out of room at the lan party?"

http://lotl.cc/humor/images/hangemhigh.jpg
Who gets to hold the bottle when he needs to pee? Or worse?
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Old 26th Aug 2003, 01:59 AM   #7
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Haha, that's funny.
Quote:
The CPL God: The inevitable one guy who shows up at every LAN party, who obviously spends 24/7 playing these types of games, because he knows the exact curvature of the surface in Tribes to keep him going while never running out of jetpack, he knows every map in Quake by heart and knows how to get from his base to yours and back in 15 seconds or less, without being seen and without taking any damage. He also knows the exact spawn time and location of every weapon and item on the board. In CS, if he's a counter-terrorist, he knows the location of each hostage and the most efficient way to rescue them, or knows all the entry points for the opposing team if he's a terrorist. Characteristics: BINK BINK. You will die within 10 seconds of starting the fight. He will kill everyone on your team systematically. You'll look at the score and his score will at LEAST triple the closest person to him.
This reminded me of the first time we played Blood (deathmatch) and I had 70+ kills while guy on the the second place had ~12. Was fun.
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Old 26th Aug 2003, 05:21 AM   #8
TheShiningWizard
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My friends and I once had a LAN party where everyone just played Morrowind. I hate my friends
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Old 26th Aug 2003, 08:10 AM   #9
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It was like that at the lans I used to co-host (see my sig which I need to change). There was the few peeps who always had to play cs, Me trying everyone to play some other new game like inf. The leechers/file shareres, I was one of them, At least we had our own private switch which was linked up to the main switch. One of the Hosts lil brother was the lil **** except he always wanted to play TFC. the other host was The smoker, except it was fags not weed (well thats whati think anyway). We had 3 peeps in a cs clan, we did have a pron king that turned up for a few lans. We had an audiofile that was getting on our nevers (our being the hosts) playing hardcore rock or what ever you want to call it, so we (the host) brought in our sound systems and blasted the hall with some good 'ol hardhouse. That was about it all the other peeps where guys who wold play nearly anyother game.
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Old 26th Aug 2003, 10:25 AM   #10
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This sounds like me [except for maybe three or four months every two years, when I have enough money to upgrade]:

10fps: This guy’s machine was cutting edge, but its not 1998 anymore, and the system requirements have changed. You know you are in bad shape if you are grateful for a loaner TNT card. Characteristics: Grateful for anything that can help him increase his frame-rate or resolution. After LAN party has overwhelming urge to buy a new machine.

My brother when he's playing Infiltration [against bots, nonetheless]:

Mister Angry: Upon dying, missing a power up, missing a single shot, getting hit with a shot, hearing any sound or thinking of kittens, Mister Angry will put his hands under the desk and launch it into orbit around Neptune. Headphones can often be found embedded 4 feet into walls. He then proceeds to blame his every shortcoming on every other member of his team, his computer, economic conditions in Bolivia and Orville Redenbacher. Characteristics: Every piece of computer equipment is held together by duct tape. Has not blinked in 10 years. Veins on forehead large enough to ski down.

His favourite victim of abuse is my mouse.
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Old 26th Aug 2003, 11:19 AM   #11
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I must admit, I am the "makes even a sailor blush" kind of LAN-er...but usually only when I do something REALLY stupid for whatever team I'm on. Naturally, when I play infiltration, I'm swearing a lot
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Old 26th Aug 2003, 11:53 AM   #12
Grim_Reaper ~UFS~
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The only game I swear a lot in is Natural Selection. Especially when some moron skulk stands in front of me (the onos) while I'm trying to escape from 5 heavies with around 100hp.
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Old 26th Aug 2003, 12:20 PM   #13
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I usually don't go to lan party's...
There is this cyber café nearby with a 17 pc lan meant for gaming where I sometimes meet my friends. But for the rest, the closest lan arena is around 50+KM away...
Unfortunately, the party's held are always themed tournaments...
Offcourse around the most low-quality suckage games...
CS, BF, Q3, Serious Sam ( ), UT and UT2k3 (always both at the same time)...
and never any UT mods. I hate Antwerp!
I even prefer playing MOHAA or SeriousSam2 with 5 friends above that!
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Old 27th Aug 2003, 08:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
The CPL God: The inevitable one guy who shows up at every LAN party, who obviously spends 24/7 playing these types of games, because he knows the exact curvature of the surface in Tribes to keep him going while never running out of jetpack, he knows every map in Quake by heart and knows how to get from his base to yours and back in 15 seconds or less, without being seen and without taking any damage. He also knows the exact spawn time and location of every weapon and item on the board. In CS, if he's a counter-terrorist, he knows the location of each hostage and the most efficient way to rescue them, or knows all the entry points for the opposing team if he's a terrorist. Characteristics: BINK BINK. You will die within 10 seconds of starting the fight. He will kill everyone on your team systematically. You'll look at the score and his score will at LEAST triple the closest person to him.
Funny, that was what playing against LB in INF 2.6 was always like. I would be sneaking up on his spawn with 3 or 4 others, positive that we had him. All of the sudden the guy next to me would drop. Then the two behind me would die in a spectacular hail of shrapnel. I would be left standing there wondering where the hell the rain of fire and brimstone was coming from...
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Old 27th Aug 2003, 08:59 PM   #15
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oh man! this is the best site ever! thanks Olethros!
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Old 28th Aug 2003, 03:04 PM   #16
Vers Vlees
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grim_Reaper ~UFS~
The only game I swear a lot in is Natural Selection. Especially when some moron skulk stands in front of me (the onos) while I'm trying to escape from 5 heavies with around 100hp.

haha I swear a lot in CS

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AWPenis licker: This lowlife mother****er only uses the cheapest guns in every game. They also have a Rainman like knowledge of every cheap camping spot in every level of every FPS. Their first mistake is using the AWP in the same room as me and their second is not saying their prayers before I strangle their worthless soul right out of their body.

arg I hate it when ppl use those cheap guns.
The AWM from Cheet strike, to the spore gun in Natural selection, The SVD + G36 in Firearms.
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Old 29th Aug 2003, 09:23 AM   #17
ninjin
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@ your sig phatcat

actually, me too
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