TOO FUNNY!!! LMAO!

[OFUY]

The Perfect Day

> The Perfect Day for Her:


> 08:15 Wakeup to hugs and kisses
> 08:30 Weigh in 5lbs lighter than yesterday
> 08:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants

> 09:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
> 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer
> 10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo and comb out
> 12:00 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
> 12:45 Notice ex-boyfriends wife, she has gained 30lbs
> 13:00 Shopping with friends, unlimited credit
> 15:00 Nap
> 16:00 3 dozens roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer

> 16:15 Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage
> 17:30 Pick out outfit for dinner, prim before the mirror
> 19:30 Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing
> 22:00 Hot shower (alone)
> 22:30 Make love
> 23:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
> 23:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
>
> The Perfect Day for Him:

> 06:00 Alarm
> 06:15 Blowjob
> 06:30 Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today
> 07:00 Breakfast, Filet mignon and eggs, toast and coffee
> 07:30 Limo arrives
> 07:45 Stoli Bloody Mary enroute to airport
> 08:15 DFW - Private G4 to Augusta, Georgia (Coffee, SI and WSJ)
> 09:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club
> 09:45 Front nine at Augusta (2 under)
> 11:45 Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens
> 12:15 Blowjob
> 12:30 Back nine Augusta (4 under)
> 14:15 Limo back to airport (Bombay martini)
> 4:30 Private G4, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap)
15:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female (topless)crew
16:30 Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs)
17:00 G4 back to DFW, massage & hand job enroute by naked Kathy Ireland
18:45 ****, shower and shave 19:00 Watch
> CNN newsflash: Clinton resigns, Hillary and Al Gore farm animal video
released and authenticated.
> 9:30 Dinner, Lobster appetizers, Dom Perigon (1963), 20 oz. New York
Steak
> 21:00 Remy Martin and Cuban Partagas cigar
> 21:30 Sex with three women
> 23:00 Massage and Jacuzzi
> 23:45 Bed (alone)
> 23:50 12 second, 4 octave fart, dog leaves the room
> 23:55 Giggle yourself to sleep
LOL! [img]/~unreal/ubb/html/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Hendo]

Too funny!

[Zaccix]

LOL!



My night is coloured headache grey. Don't wake me with so much.

[Lizard Of Oz]

LOL




"There is no point in tip-toeing through life to get safely to death."
"Whom ever sacrifices freedom for security get's nor deserves either."

-Lizard Of Oz -aka- {PuF}Lizard- nguid = 108675

[a dumb@ss]

did u know that the longest fart was held for 2 minutes and a half?!?! i bet u didn't hehe

[Wendy]

That is all so true!

Hope we'll be seeing u here more often.


You walk the thin line between glory and despair, soon you shall cross over it.

[OFUY]

Well if you're here Wendy...I'll make it a point of checkin more often...