On a stack of bibles, I swear this gave me a pounding headache only half-way through.

DigitalPixie · 31st Mar 2004, 12:13 AM

missPoopShoot · 31st Mar 2004, 01:01 AM

That is so weird.

A guy from work gave me the box for a mini r/c car the other day. He thought the translation of the instructions was funny. It was those instructions. THE SAME INSTRUCTIONS ...

It gave me a brain wrong too!

Jedediah Knight · 31st Mar 2004, 07:19 AM

What!?!?!? Dont you recognize the insatllation instructions for installing UT2K4 on Linux?

Loibisch · 31st Mar 2004, 08:05 AM

At least now we know what they're talking about...still makes no sense whatsoever

Nemephosis · 31st Mar 2004, 08:27 AM

Well here's my shot at translating them to real english. Seems like they're talking about one of those large toy cars kids ride in, like the Power Wheels stuff.

-Inside contains small parts, do not put them in your mouth as they possess a choking hazard.
-To prevent injury, do not allow children 3 years of age and under to operate and do not operate while swimming. (You know, electrical componenents and all.)
-Don't use it on a road.... even I can't get what swimming has to do with a road.
-Do not wrap the antenna around your neck (yes they have to write this... just like they write "Caution: May be hot after heating")
-May have sharp edges, check on child frequently. (in other words, don't be a sh*tty parent. This seems to be a line stating that you need to check on your kid and they aren't responsible if the little idiot cuts themself on it.)
-If used in any other way, batteries may leak or explode. If this happens:
-Vehicle may short circuit and cause large electric current. Do not attempt to use if this occurs. Use it after the charge has drained.
-If contact with water occurs, do not use.
-Please do not dispose of in water or fire. the decomposition something something.
-Do not place in the vicinity of fire or heat and then attempt to use.
-When charging batteries, use only the correct charger.
-If used in any other way, batteries in the remote control may leak or explode.
-Do not attempt to charge the batteries in the remote control.
-Do not use old and new batteries together, and use only all of the same brand.
-um.....
-swim to take out the battery...... well thats what it looks like, I've done a better translating job than anyone else so far

-If battery acid comes in contact with the eyes, skin or clothes, flush with cold clean water.
-Do not close hair, clothes or fingers inside the vehicle (I'm assuming don't get them caught in the door) to prevent them from being tangled into the vehicle.

So there's only a couple lines I can't make out, like the swimming in the road or swimming to take out the battery

but that's about 98% of it.

Fluid · 31st Mar 2004, 08:39 AM

The other 2 are:

- Do not use on the road, it's dangerous
- Swimming to take out the battery? Probably refers to not to try to get an electrical device out of the water.

Cap'n Beeb · 31st Mar 2004, 09:23 AM

Professor Beeb is here for your translating needs!

Small pieces inside, please do not eat the pieces. If you eat pieces, you deserve to die.

Keep your three year old bastard child away from this, lest he or she dies.

What? You think you can swim in asphalt? Go for it. And please film the hilarious results!

Feeling angsty? Hang yourself with this and you'll be taken to a land of autoerotic asphyxiation wonder!

The antenna is not a weapon. Dont beat previously mentioned bastard child with it.

Sharp places may be visited on the hour, every hour.

Do not anger the battery, lest it consumes your very soul.
--Angry Battery of Ryleh symptoms: Leaking, electronic storms conjured from battery compartment, thermonuclear explosion if combined with water, pyromania in the neighborhood, flesh decomposition, invoking the gods of recharging.

Remote control battery may attempt to usurp Angry Battery of Ryleh. Stand well back and avoid the following battery jihad.

Dont use geriatric batteries.

The battery is a dirty slut, and likes it in the back anode! STICK IT IN THERE BABY!

Do not swim with Battery of Sodomy, lest you catch some sort of whacky disease.

If you catch disease, there is no cure. Reattempt swimming in asphalt to end your miserable life, faithful consumer.

Dont stick yourself in the vehicle quilt, it might assimilate you.

Syri · 31st Mar 2004, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beerbaron

Professor Beeb is here for your translating needs!

Small pieces inside, please do not eat the pieces. If you eat pieces, you deserve to die.

Keep your three year old bastard child away from this, lest he or she dies.

What? You think you can swim in asphalt? Go for it. And please film the hilarious results!

Feeling angsty? Hang yourself with this and you'll be taken to a land of autoerotic asphyxiation wonder!

The antenna is not a weapon. Dont beat previously mentioned bastard child with it.

Sharp places may be visited on the hour, every hour.

Do not anger the battery, lest it consumes your very soul.
--Angry Battery of Ryleh symptoms: Leaking, electronic storms conjured from battery compartment, thermonuclear explosion if combined with water, pyromania in the neighborhood, flesh decomposition, invoking the gods of recharging.

Remote control battery may attempt to usurp Angry Battery of Ryleh. Stand well back and avoid the following battery jihad.

Dont use geriatric batteries.

The battery is a dirty slut, and likes it in the back anode! STICK IT IN THERE BABY!

Do not swim with Battery of Sodomy, lest you catch some sort of whacky disease.

If you catch disease, there is no cure. Reattempt swimming in asphalt to end your miserable life, faithful consumer.

Dont stick yourself in the vehicle quilt, it might assimilate you.

beautiful, it really is... all toy manufacturers should get beer to write their instructions

W0RF · 31st Mar 2004, 09:59 AM

instructions by fatman?

GeneticFreak · 31st Mar 2004, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beerbaron

--Angry Battery of Ryleh symptoms: Leaking, electronic storms conjured from battery compartment, thermonuclear explosion if combined with water, pyromania in the neighborhood, flesh decomposition, invoking the gods of recharging.

Remote control battery may attempt to usurp Angry Battery of Ryleh. Stand well back and avoid the following battery jihad.

Fluid · 31st Mar 2004, 10:01 AM

In all honesty though, except for English my foreign grammar sucks just as hard.

das_ben · 31st Mar 2004, 10:24 AM

That was pretty entertaining.

captainrad · 31st Mar 2004, 11:53 AM

swim to play, best thing i ever read..

hyrulian · 31st Mar 2004, 12:04 PM

I think "quilt involvement" (see the last sentence) was the best part.

captainrad · 31st Mar 2004, 12:11 PM

hahaha

stoned_jedi · 31st Mar 2004, 12:18 PM

that will probobally be a direct translation from the Chinese manufacturers.

31st Mar 2004, 12:13 AM	#1
DigitalPixie local hottie!! Join Date: Dec. 20th, 2001 Posts: 720	On a stack of bibles, I swear this gave me a pounding headache only half-way through. Try, just try to figure this out. __________________ "As for just men running the world, well I personally would like to see a few more women, cuz frankly our government is screwed up! " -Tim17 Yes, I'd like to see more people cry in office... -Diamond Sword Yeah, they'd probably just menstruate all over some important legislature or something. -SANS

31st Mar 2004, 01:01 AM	#2
missPoopShoot voodoo rage Join Date: Jul. 13th, 2003 Location: Cambridge, UK Posts: 1,337	That is so weird. A guy from work gave me the box for a mini r/c car the other day. He thought the translation of the instructions was funny. It was those instructions. THE SAME INSTRUCTIONS ... It gave me a brain wrong too! __________________ A human face! A deer with a human face? Oh witchcraft. What voodoo rage is this? Black milk! The wet jigsaw puzzle!

31st Mar 2004, 07:19 AM	#3
Jedediah Knight Flag Runner of the Year Join Date: Sep. 28th, 2003 Location: North Ark. U.S.A Posts: 277	What!?!?!? Dont you recognize the insatllation instructions for installing UT2K4 on Linux? __________________ Last edited by Jedediah Knight; 31st Mar 2004 at 07:20 AM.

31st Mar 2004, 08:05 AM	#4
Loibisch The Odd Member Join Date: Jan. 3rd, 2000 Location: Germany Posts: 2,199	At least now we know what they're talking about...still makes no sense whatsoever __________________ [Ci]Loibisch - Site/Forum admin and attacker of clan Carpe Imperium

31st Mar 2004, 08:39 AM	#6
Fluid Zen fascists will control you Join Date: Aug. 2nd, 2000 Location: Maastricht, the Netherlands Posts: 2,767	The other 2 are: - Do not use on the road, it's dangerous - Swimming to take out the battery? Probably refers to not to try to get an electrical device out of the water. __________________ GMD/S/SS d- s:-- a-- C++++ U! P! L+ E-- W++ N o? K? w++ OS/2! M! VMS? PS+ PE++ Y+ PGP! t- 5! X! R(+) tv-- b+ DI D G e h! r! !z* The man that hath no music in himself, Nor is not mov’d with concord of sweet sounds, Is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils; The motions of his spirit are as dull as night, And his affections dark as Erebus: Let no such man be trusted.

31st Mar 2004, 08:27 AM	#5
Nemephosis lol Join Date: Aug. 10th, 2000 Posts: 7,513	Well here's my shot at translating them to real english. Seems like they're talking about one of those large toy cars kids ride in, like the Power Wheels stuff. -Inside contains small parts, do not put them in your mouth as they possess a choking hazard. -To prevent injury, do not allow children 3 years of age and under to operate and do not operate while swimming. (You know, electrical componenents and all.) -Don't use it on a road.... even I can't get what swimming has to do with a road. -Do not wrap the antenna around your neck (yes they have to write this... just like they write "Caution: May be hot after heating") -May have sharp edges, check on child frequently. (in other words, don't be a sh*tty parent. This seems to be a line stating that you need to check on your kid and they aren't responsible if the little idiot cuts themself on it.) -If used in any other way, batteries may leak or explode. If this happens: -Vehicle may short circuit and cause large electric current. Do not attempt to use if this occurs. Use it after the charge has drained. -If contact with water occurs, do not use. -Please do not dispose of in water or fire. the decomposition something something. -Do not place in the vicinity of fire or heat and then attempt to use. -When charging batteries, use only the correct charger. -If used in any other way, batteries in the remote control may leak or explode. -Do not attempt to charge the batteries in the remote control. -Do not use old and new batteries together, and use only all of the same brand. -um..... -swim to take out the battery...... well thats what it looks like, I've done a better translating job than anyone else so far -If battery acid comes in contact with the eyes, skin or clothes, flush with cold clean water. -Do not close hair, clothes or fingers inside the vehicle (I'm assuming don't get them caught in the door) to prevent them from being tangled into the vehicle. So there's only a couple lines I can't make out, like the swimming in the road or swimming to take out the battery but that's about 98% of it.

31st Mar 2004, 09:23 AM	#7
Cap'n Beeb Banned Join Date: Nov. 27th, 1999 Location: A mountain compound Posts: 8,107	Professor Beeb is here for your translating needs! Small pieces inside, please do not eat the pieces. If you eat pieces, you deserve to die. Keep your three year old bastard child away from this, lest he or she dies. What? You think you can swim in asphalt? Go for it. And please film the hilarious results! Feeling angsty? Hang yourself with this and you'll be taken to a land of autoerotic asphyxiation wonder! The antenna is not a weapon. Dont beat previously mentioned bastard child with it. Sharp places may be visited on the hour, every hour. Do not anger the battery, lest it consumes your very soul. --Angry Battery of Ryleh symptoms: Leaking, electronic storms conjured from battery compartment, thermonuclear explosion if combined with water, pyromania in the neighborhood, flesh decomposition, invoking the gods of recharging. Remote control battery may attempt to usurp Angry Battery of Ryleh. Stand well back and avoid the following battery jihad. Dont use geriatric batteries. The battery is a dirty slut, and likes it in the back anode! STICK IT IN THERE BABY! Do not swim with Battery of Sodomy, lest you catch some sort of whacky disease. If you catch disease, there is no cure. Reattempt swimming in asphalt to end your miserable life, faithful consumer. Dont stick yourself in the vehicle quilt, it might assimilate you. __________________ Cap'n Beeb & Fizzil <3 for life. Anaemic is a super stud. Last edited by Cap'n Beeb; 31st Mar 2004 at 09:24 AM.

31st Mar 2004, 09:59 AM	#9
W0RF BuF Greeter, News Bagger Join Date: Apr. 19th, 2002 Location: Columbus, OH Posts: 8,731	instructions by fatman? __________________ Maps: CTF-ColaWars-FragBU - current version = 2 \| CTF/BR/JB/TDM-BuFferZone - In Progress

31st Mar 2004, 10:01 AM	#11
Fluid Zen fascists will control you Join Date: Aug. 2nd, 2000 Location: Maastricht, the Netherlands Posts: 2,767	In all honesty though, except for English my foreign grammar sucks just as hard. __________________ GMD/S/SS d- s:-- a-- C++++ U! P! L+ E-- W++ N o? K? w++ OS/2! M! VMS? PS+ PE++ Y+ PGP! t- 5! X! R(+) tv-- b+ DI D G e h! r! !z* The man that hath no music in himself, Nor is not mov’d with concord of sweet sounds, Is fit for treasons, stratagems and spoils; The motions of his spirit are as dull as night, And his affections dark as Erebus: Let no such man be trusted.

31st Mar 2004, 10:24 AM	#12
das_ben Concerned. Join Date: Feb. 11th, 2000 Location: Teutonia Posts: 5,873	That was pretty entertaining. __________________ - Ben. [Flickr] \| [Blog] \| [Tumblr]

31st Mar 2004, 11:53 AM	#13
captainrad admiral spock! Join Date: Feb. 15th, 2004 Posts: 1,376	swim to play, best thing i ever read..

31st Mar 2004, 12:04 PM	#14
hyrulian Rainbow Brite Join Date: May. 20th, 2001 Location: Chula Vista, CA Posts: 9,545	I think "quilt involvement" (see the last sentence) was the best part. __________________ My Profiles: Facebook :: MySpace :: Steam My Photo Album :: FragBU Community Wiki :: IRC Quotes

31st Mar 2004, 12:11 PM	#15
captainrad admiral spock! Join Date: Feb. 15th, 2004 Posts: 1,376	hahaha

31st Mar 2004, 12:18 PM	#16
stoned_jedi Ethically Challenged Join Date: Mar. 4th, 2002 Location: Taunton Posts: 853	that will probobally be a direct translation from the Chinese manufacturers. __________________

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