Anyone can make up this kind of ****, here let me show you mine.
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"
Increase in law suits against video game violence has also shown a correlation with an increase in illiteracy.
Gavin Edgington, 7-9-2003.
These are the recent findings of a collaborative effort between top gaming website gamesindustry.biz and the British Council, who have reported a marginal increase in illiterate parents that file for law suits against the video game industry.
When most parents where questioned outside the pending courtcases what these signs meant, none of them had a clue. The recent study could also be interpreted differently, are these people really illiterate? Or just plain stupid?
We went into the streets to ask the public what they thought on the subject matter, not surprisingly the majority of the public (over 86%) said that these "concerned parents" were "dumbasses" and "smacktards".
Indeed.
We couldn't get any correspondance from the parents in question over the recent study, because of the confidentialty over the court cases. But we were lucky enough to speak to a couple people from the Industry.
"I'd like to say that these people are dumbasses, and of course smacktards." - A very handsome CliffyB at Epic.
"These people should be removed from the genepool, or atleast from civilised society where I don't have to deal with them." - The wise PR man Todd Hollenstead from Id.
The research is being carried out in the hopes that the problem can be isolated and solved, and prevented in the future so that the next generation of parents will not become "smacktards".
The research at the moment looks to be conclusive, but will still continue to help further understand the scale of the problem at hand."
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Hopefully people will stop using the entertainment industry as a scapegoat and learn that the only reason their kids are murderous little bastards are because they couldn't exercise any self control and stop little jimmy from playing "Grand Theft Murder Everyone With An M16 While Pissing On Your Neighbors" even though it had a huge 18 certificate on the front of the box.
this story is complete fiction.