My Birthday Wish List

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QUALTHWAR

QUALTHWAR

Baitshop opening soon.
Apr 9, 2000
6,432
71
48
Nali City, Florida
web.tampabay.rr.com
I’ll be 46 this Thursday. Here’s a list of things you people can get for me:

A helicopter so I don’t have to worry about traffic

A life-sized Barney doll

A supermodel’s phone number

A turtle

Retractable pants for my turtle

$1,000,000 in cash. Non-sequential, unmarked bills

Penis enlargement equipment

Underwear that looks good on my head as well as my ass

One bowling shoe, size 12, right side

$73 dollars in pennies

A pardon by the Japanese mafia

A T-shirt that reads: “Stop Staring At Me; I’m Neurotic!”

4 gallons of non-flavored ice cream

A brainwave keyboard so I don’t have to type

Chocolate and nylons

Any type of wild animal

Lard

Pirate clothing

And last but not least, a compass that goes all the way up to 361 degrees
 
S

Skorch

Banned
Feb 5, 2000
1,812
0
0
I was gonna get you the compass...but my evil plan to squish the Earth vertically by increasing it's rate of spin and thus increase it's girth by 1 degree was thwarted by minions from Weight-Watchers...it seems this would have lowered the gravitational pull at the equator through centrifugal force, causing a sudden loss of weight for millions resulting in lower sales...but don't worry...I have ninja snipers stalking their cheif executive officers...soon....very soon...
 
Cactus

Cactus

The Evil Spatula
Mar 19, 2000
1,970
2
0
42
Ithaca (A.K.A. Cornell's Bitch) NY
if i had ONE wish for my birthday... it would be for all the children of the world, to join hands and sing.

If i had TWO wishes for the world, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing, and a check for one million dollars, tax free, payable to me, every month...

remember the steve martin thing?
 
OO7MIKE

OO7MIKE

Mr. Sexy
May 2, 2000
5,022
107
63
Nalicity, NC
Nice list!

My birthday is next month...so take close attention:



A clock that goes up to 13'o clock

A Money making machine that spits out as little as "a dollar a day"

A lobby in my house full of virgins so when i walk by they all giggle at me

A very large Pirate ship with holes blown in the sides

A "half" a cup of coffee (split in the middle)

300 gallons of fake snow

A refrigerator that has an endless supply of V8 and Popsicles
 
BangOut

BangOut

...smells like groin.
Nov 4, 2001
3,028
0
0
Right behind you...
But you can't break them and make them scream for daddy and have them cry afterwards. :B

err...

Just think Q, you were in your early 40s when you came here... no longer...
 
QUALTHWAR

QUALTHWAR

Baitshop opening soon.
Apr 9, 2000
6,432
71
48
Nali City, Florida
web.tampabay.rr.com
BangOut said:
But you can't break them and make them scream for daddy and have them cry afterwards. :B

err...

Just think Q, you were in your early 40s when you came here... no longer...
Click to expand...
Yes, I know. In April, I’ll be here 4 years. I went from being in my early 40’s to mid 40’s to late 40’s. We need a special forum for us geriatrics. We can talk about denture cream and prostate problems.
 
QUALTHWAR

QUALTHWAR

Baitshop opening soon.
Apr 9, 2000
6,432
71
48
Nali City, Florida
web.tampabay.rr.com
Steve was one of those people that made you laugh just by the look on his face. The Jerk was funny. I loved the part where the sniper was shooting at him at the gas station and hitting the oil cans.

"He hates the cans! Stay away from the cans!" Lol!
 
QUALTHWAR

QUALTHWAR

Baitshop opening soon.
Apr 9, 2000
6,432
71
48
Nali City, Florida
web.tampabay.rr.com
I only remember bits and pieces of it. I think that was the movie where he thought he was a poor black child. At the end, he's leaving his home and he starts by taking a chair with him, or something. "All i need is this chair." Then he grabs something else and all he needs is the chair and that, then the chair that and that, and he just keeps going.

He writes a letter back home telling his family that he met a girl and has found some work. He said "work" because the lady said she would give him a blow "job." He was like a real-life Homer Simpson. Dumb as hell.
 
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