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View Full Version : Let's make a racially unbiased, gender nuetral story


DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 08:46 PM
You all know the drill.

Once...

Donnellizer
11th Nov 2001, 08:47 PM
upon

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 08:48 PM
a

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 08:49 PM
midnight

Waxx
11th Nov 2001, 08:50 PM
...I had buttsex with Donnellizer. In the middle of our routine, he jumped up and....

Jotun
11th Nov 2001, 08:51 PM
grabbed my dog's ass and proceeded to...

FiringAimlessly
11th Nov 2001, 08:52 PM
...bake a cake.

Donnellizer
11th Nov 2001, 08:52 PM
Mojo suddenly jumped into the room and...

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 08:53 PM
proceded to strip for us.

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 08:53 PM
Shoot me down and splay my

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 08:54 PM
canned tuna

Jotun
11th Nov 2001, 08:54 PM
poop.

Waxx
11th Nov 2001, 08:55 PM
while riding his white pony

BlAcK_PlAgUe22
11th Nov 2001, 08:55 PM
When he plopped onto the couch...

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 08:56 PM
with an open zipper

Cap'n Beeb
11th Nov 2001, 08:57 PM
Mir crashed through the ceiling. The hatch opened and out popped a..

Jotun
11th Nov 2001, 08:57 PM
made of human pelvic flesh...

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 08:57 PM
naked DLL. He said...

Waxx
11th Nov 2001, 08:57 PM
"eat me"

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 08:58 PM
"Soon?" I asked, hurredly

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 08:58 PM
as i ran to grab a...

Donnellizer
11th Nov 2001, 09:00 PM
condom...

BlAcK_PlAgUe22
11th Nov 2001, 09:00 PM
I decided to grab a piece of the action... Donn turned to him and...

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 09:00 PM
threw a massive

Waxx
11th Nov 2001, 09:01 PM
dildo at him!

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:01 PM
It pierced his skull and...

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:03 PM
aroused him.

Donnellizer
11th Nov 2001, 09:03 PM
he went into cardiac arrest...

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 09:04 PM
and blew his load all over the floor!

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:04 PM
Then Maynard from Tool came down and raped Balli. While doing it, he sang Prison Sex.

BlAcK_PlAgUe22
11th Nov 2001, 09:04 PM
Then said, "do it again, you sexy hunk!"

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:07 PM
God then came down from heaven and smited Black Plague for ruining the story. God said...

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 09:08 PM
BLASPHEMY!

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:08 PM
"Now Fu<b></b>ck me in the ass and...."

Thrash123
11th Nov 2001, 09:09 PM
Call me BAAL!

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:10 PM
Blackplague assumed doggy style position and....

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:10 PM
BlueSniper's "sister" put on a strap-on and proceded to make ****.

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:12 PM
god looked thereon, and saw that it was good

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:14 PM
Meanwhile...

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:15 PM
Don was sticking a drill bit in his mangina and thinking...

plastic fork
11th Nov 2001, 09:15 PM
of what it would be like if DLL was around

Jotun
11th Nov 2001, 09:16 PM
Then Blackie Lawless came in and kicked all their asses for being fags

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:18 PM
MacGyver then swung down from the ceiling using a grappling hook he made with two pieces of lint and a Michael Crichton novel. He managed to save...

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:19 PM
Balli's erect penis

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:19 PM
from near certain doom at the hands of Tool.

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:21 PM
It was leaking everywhere, even onto...

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:22 PM
DLL. At that second, Arnold burst in the door saying "Listen to me! I'm detective Harry Kimble!". Balli just...

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:23 PM
jumped and spewed more rank fluid. It reminded him of...

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:24 PM
his days of masturbating to Dank's picture on the forums. He thought back to his days of innocence and said...

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:26 PM
aloud that he loves to play with little pink bunnies

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:27 PM
Too bad he can only see those bunnies when he is high, which is not a problem anymore since...

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:29 PM
his backyard is a forest of marijuana. What could possibly...

plastic fork
11th Nov 2001, 09:35 PM
Ok, so far we got


Once upon a minight..I had buttsex with Donnellizer. In the middle of our routine, he jumped up and.... grabbed my dogs ass, he then proceeded to bake a cake. Mojo then jumped into the room and proceeded to strip for us. Shoot me down and splay my canned tuna. poop. While riding his white pony when he plopped onto the couch with an open zipper. Mir crashed through the ceiling. The hatch opened and out popped a made of human pelvic flesh... naked DLL. He said... "eat me"
"soon" I asked, hurredley as i ran to grab a condom. I decided to grab a piece of the action... Donn turned to him and threw a massive dildo at him. It pierced his skull and aroused him. He went into cardiac arrest and blew his load all over the floor! Then Maynard from Tool came down and raped Balli. While doing it, he sang Prison Sex. Then said, "do it again, you sexy hunk!" God then came down from heaven and smited Black Plague for ruining the story. God said "BLASPHEMY!" "Now **** me in the ass and.... Call me BAAL!"
Blackplague assumed doggy style position and BlueSniper's "sister" put on a strap-on and proceded to make ****. god looked thereon, and saw that it was good. Meanwhile, Don was sticking a drill bit in his mangina and thinking of what it would be like if DLL was around. Then Blackie Lawless came in and kicked all their asses for being fags. MacGyver then swung down from the ceiling using a grappling hook he made with two pieces of lint and a Michael Crichton novel. He managed to save Balli's errect penis from near certain doom at the hands of Tool. It was leaking everywhere, even onto DLL. At that second, Arnold burst in the door saying "Listen to me! I'm detective Harry Kimble!". Balli just jumped and spewed more rank fluid. It reminded him of his days of masturbating to Dank's picture on the forums. He thought back to his days of innocence and said aloud that he loves to play with little pink bunnies. Too bad he can only see those bunnies when he is high, which is not a problem anymore since his backyard is a forest of marijuana. What could possibly......


...help him feel at ease and relaxed whilst he poses for a painful photohgraph, now displayed at goat</b>se.cx

DeadeyeDan[ToA]
11th Nov 2001, 09:44 PM
besides a 2 foot blunt? Nothing, except maybe giving head.

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 09:52 PM
What a supernatural sense of relief he feels when...

DENSRAW
11th Nov 2001, 09:56 PM
he feels DarkBls' "french roll" slowly penetrate his...

UTProphet
11th Nov 2001, 10:17 PM
soft pillow. I can't believe he

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 12:47 AM
let a Nazi do that.

Donnellizer
12th Nov 2001, 05:18 AM
All of the sudden Balli began to open his anus wide and Mojo screamed "SNAP THE PICTURE!" to me...

Fuct
12th Nov 2001, 05:46 AM
and Donnelizer decided to join the fun

Thrash123
12th Nov 2001, 08:44 AM
And now, for something completely different.

Somewhere, outside a small gondola, was a ...

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 10:35 AM
BMP-3 infantry fighting vehicle.

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 10:35 AM
The long, menacing barrel of the 100mm main gun turned, targetting...

GenoOfTheCrayon
12th Nov 2001, 10:40 AM
a midget with a pegleg, pink hair, and one eybrow, while the goats were...

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 10:45 AM
eating grass and smoking pot.

Thrash123
12th Nov 2001, 11:05 AM
I stepped out of my car, waving a...

DarkBls
12th Nov 2001, 11:09 AM
A white flag and concealing a DE, when ...

ThunderChunky
12th Nov 2001, 11:28 AM
I realized that I was wearing a pink tutu, embroidered with...

Thrash123
12th Nov 2001, 12:23 PM
Bright green fake emeralds and monkey toenails

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 12:32 PM
The tank crew passed out at the horrible sight...

DarkBls
12th Nov 2001, 12:32 PM
Unluckly this piece of leather didn't cover

Thrash123
12th Nov 2001, 12:57 PM
What he HOPED was his own...

Aeris
12th Nov 2001, 01:22 PM
Little pinky..

Thrash123
12th Nov 2001, 01:23 PM
Alas, he was not so lucky. Blaring at him were 2 big, objects, completely opposite of being subtle. They were...

BlAcK_PlAgUe22
12th Nov 2001, 01:23 PM
so big they...

Fuct
12th Nov 2001, 01:24 PM
Pamela Anderson's boobs.....

Thrash123
12th Nov 2001, 01:28 PM
NO! I screamed to myself. I was letting my mind wander all over Pamela... I miss her so dearly... and our villa. And our...

Donnellizer
12th Nov 2001, 02:10 PM
Exotic dildo collection...

Waxx
12th Nov 2001, 02:48 PM
and her souvenir breast implants from paris.

Donnellizer
12th Nov 2001, 02:55 PM
But that was all gone now, never to return.. Unless...

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 03:14 PM
With the sinister blare of the Imperial Death March, the Lord of the Sith enters the scene. Darth Vader...

UTProphet
12th Nov 2001, 03:18 PM
pulled down his electronic pants and...

Donnellizer
12th Nov 2001, 03:21 PM
reached for a condom.
The Imperial Sexual Awareness Group sez: SAFE SEX CONQUERS PLANETS. He then...

Jotun
12th Nov 2001, 03:21 PM
proceeds to stroke the "Emperor".

DENSRAW
12th Nov 2001, 05:41 PM
The "Emperor" was very pleased with his...

UTProphet
12th Nov 2001, 05:46 PM
schlong size. It was small enough to fit into his...

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 07:08 PM
schwartz.

Thrash123
12th Nov 2001, 07:39 PM
The protagonist of the story pondered to himself, "Why is it that every single time I do something it always involves some sexual inuendo?", and then realizes that his entire life is written by a bunch of horny gamers who have nothing better to do. He moves on with his life as usual... soon he walks upon a tree with a strange looking owl sitting in it... He asks the Owl...

Donnellizer
12th Nov 2001, 07:57 PM
"Want to have some buttsex0rz?"

(I was continuing your theme Thrash!)

(Besides, it's probably OwlofDoom!)

Jotun
12th Nov 2001, 08:11 PM
The owl then perks up and proceeds to...

striderteen
12th Nov 2001, 08:17 PM
attack Thrash with its razor-sharp talons, shredding what little clothing he had on and generally reducing him to a bloody mess.

(I work at the L.A. Zoo. Don't mess with birds of prey. There's a reason they're called raptors)

Jotun
12th Nov 2001, 08:19 PM
Then Beer busted through the door Wesley Snipes style with an M16 and...

DENSRAW
12th Nov 2001, 10:23 PM
an Acog/M203 combo. All the INFers...

EndlessInfinity
12th Nov 2001, 10:44 PM
...ran over and rammed their collective feet up his ass. Suddenly...

Barcode#09123111
12th Nov 2001, 10:47 PM
Luis farrakan proceeded to speak...

jaunty
12th Nov 2001, 11:17 PM
And he said "Jebus this thread is f<u></u>ucking stupid."

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 12:26 AM
Every gun and grenade launcher in the room opened up in a deafening crescendo, reducing the author of that comment to a bloody smear on the wall.

GenoOfTheCrayon
13th Nov 2001, 10:33 AM
HOLY ****! I WAS DRINKING SOMETHING AND I SPIT IT ALL OVER MY COMP! DAMN , THIS IS FRIGGIN' FUNNY!

yurch
13th Nov 2001, 10:59 AM
..the report of the explosion was strange indeed, and it sounded almost like someone speaking. Shaking it off, Luis said...

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 12:04 PM
"WE ARE THE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!"

LifesBane[4C]
13th Nov 2001, 02:33 PM
Elsewhere in Elbonia, the genital warfare continued to rampage on as it had for the past 50 centuries.

Donnellizer
13th Nov 2001, 02:54 PM
Then, out of the blue, Nazi footsoldiers jumped out and put ranks on everyone! :p

Thrash123
13th Nov 2001, 03:00 PM
And there was much rejoicing, because all the 1337 oldsch00lers at least get to be high up on the nazi rank chain with "Veteran" titles for their draft registration date of 1999!

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 03:01 PM
Some of the locals were not pleased at all, so they...

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 03:15 PM
...hauled ass to Russia, bought some RPO-A thermobaric rockets, and proceeded to incinerate the room.

Rostam
13th Nov 2001, 03:15 PM
but first they fired of 200 warning shots at they air

edit: damn the speed of post! i had to change it 3 times now!

Donnellizer
13th Nov 2001, 03:16 PM
Then after firing 200 warning shots, they realized there was an infinite lack of ammunition. This made them greatly displeased. To remedy their anger, they made sigs with the help of plastic-fr0k! Then they began to beat Thrash123 with hammers, in the middle of this torture Ballistophobia ran in the room (he traveled in a jet from wherever the **** we started, to wherever the **** we are) and said...

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 03:18 PM
"take me" you rank creators, take me and do with muh ass what u will, so the rank creators proceeded to...

Jotun
13th Nov 2001, 03:44 PM
sing "Endless Love" in the shower together.

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 03:44 PM
..ship his sorry ass to Siberia. Unfortunately, the plane crashed into the Extreme Prejudice map...

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 03:45 PM
and everyone walked in circles until the 90sec timer ran out.

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 03:48 PM
Then the Afghans came and took them away into the mountains...

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 03:49 PM
where they held them captive, tickling their feet, and asking them questions of the jeffersons. This along with...

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 03:52 PM
...the presence of Bin Laden's secret lover, Barney the Purple Dinosaur, caused them to go insane.

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 03:52 PM
So they came up with a plan to...

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 03:58 PM
defeat Barney and Bin Laden with the infinite power of n00b stupidity.

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 04:00 PM
...so they typed in their admin passwords, turned godmode on, and summoned their big pink impact hammers...

Jotun
13th Nov 2001, 04:05 PM
then Warren came in and replaced the impact hammer with a machete. Then...

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 04:06 PM
...with the barriers of reality shattered, everything became Unreal. Seizing their chance, Strider and his comrades of the noble Trial By Fire clan teleported in using Translocators and gunned down the Taliban with Eight-Ball rocket launchers and Redeemers.

:trans:
:trans:
:trans:

:rl:
:rl:
:rl:


The entire population of New York City followed, and proceeded to violate Bin Laden's personal space...and no, they weren't telefragging. :eek:

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 04:15 PM
As if things couldn't get worse for the terrorists, a new force comes into the picture: the Sailor Senshi!!!!!!

Before any of the rocket-shooting TBF troopers or the machete-wielding n00bs could react, the battle cry rang out, IN THE NAME OF THE MOON WE WILL PUNISH YOU.

Of course, the ensuing henshin transformations were sufficient shock to cause all of the terrorists to become catatonic. The Senshi facefaulted in unison, and a Titan stepped on them.

As the an army of True Anime Fans celebrated, the n00bs finished slicing 'n dicing the terrorists...still alive, but missing a few important pieces of their anatomies.

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 04:33 PM
Upon completion of a job well done the n00bs took turns raping barney and osama. Even some of the vets showed up for the reeming like...

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 04:39 PM
HEY! I ALREADY SAID THAT!!!!!

GNAT
13th Nov 2001, 04:49 PM
screamed stridersteen! And all was well... Meenwhile back in the obligitory of the INF off topic forums...

Keganator
13th Nov 2001, 05:06 PM
The Almighty Keganator started to but in on a story started for the sole purpose of...

UTProphet
13th Nov 2001, 05:07 PM
****ing it up. Then UTProphet said "STOP FU<b></b>CKING EVERYTHING UP WITH YOUR NON-STORYLIKE FRAGMENTS!" He then proceeded to jack all over the floor. Who would have thought that he...

Keganator
13th Nov 2001, 05:10 PM
had been in denial from the...

Jotun
13th Nov 2001, 05:32 PM
small penis.

Keganator
13th Nov 2001, 05:42 PM
That Jotun insisted he flaunt in front of Osama. This lead to Jotun falling from...

MiscMan
13th Nov 2001, 05:55 PM
the giant goat, of which was the original LSD goat. "Thank you," he says.

Donnellizer
13th Nov 2001, 06:12 PM
Meanwhile, back in irc:
Dank_Budz: Send me some kiddy porn you bastards!

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 06:18 PM
Strider and the noble Trial By Fire clan return in triumph from their victory over the twin evils of Bin Laden and Barney.

Overhearing Dank's comment, Strider is possessed of a righteous fury and proceeds to tear apart the IRC server with his bare hands.

Donnellizer
13th Nov 2001, 06:31 PM
Rogue jumps onto the scene and knocks Strider off his high horse! He then proceeds to...

Keganator
13th Nov 2001, 06:40 PM
Continue on about The Manifesto. "As if there was any other one" he said. This lead Keichi to...

Jotun
13th Nov 2001, 06:41 PM
wack off. After doing so...

striderteen
13th Nov 2001, 07:18 PM
...he is attacked by Strider, who beats him up for being a pervert and mails the remains to Siberia.

Viet and Rogue then proceed to debate Libertarianism vs. Communism, taking some time off to steal some Russian nukes and blow up the U.N. headquarters in New York together.

Jotun
13th Nov 2001, 08:09 PM
They stood together, hand and hand, and gazed at the glowing sunset sighing at each other and whispering in each other's ears. One giggles and the other blushes as a mushroom cloud appears over the horizon...

owlofdoom
13th Nov 2001, 10:11 PM
flying through the mushroom cloud, an owl appears, and spasmodically jizzes all over.....


BTW, who brought me into this? thrash? Damn you.

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 12:15 AM
...muf dakin's head, as he screams in pure pleasure and ecstasy! He then falls his knees and begins to thank the gods that have blessed him with the sacred owl jizz.

Keganator
14th Nov 2001, 12:38 AM
And then GNAT wakes up, realizing he needs to find that Boytoy he's always wanted. He heads off towards...

Fuct
14th Nov 2001, 01:17 AM
a gay bar.

BlAcK_PlAgUe22
14th Nov 2001, 01:36 AM
When he entered, he saw..

Rostam
14th Nov 2001, 01:42 AM
George W. Bush walking around trying to get lucky...

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 02:03 AM
And then the Secret Service takes him out with a suppressed SOCOM.

The Infiltration forum community shows up and proceeds to argue heatedly about whether or not the pictures of GNAT's bullet-riddled body funeral can be posted or not. All-out civil war erupts between the forces of the Forum Moderators and the Free Speech Advocates over this issue.

yurch
14th Nov 2001, 02:20 AM
...The purple hatted one leads the opposition, ranting about ACOG's and term papers.

Cholo Grande
14th Nov 2001, 04:57 AM
And then procedes to down a handfull of yellow jackets while mumbleing about vic's vapo-rub and anal pain.

Camel_Toe(l)
14th Nov 2001, 08:49 AM
Then, suddenly, Andre the Giant bounds up behind Cholo with a tube of ky jelly and a hyper active female midget clinging to his uni and proceeds to

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 08:54 AM
lick cholo behind the ears and whisper "ooo baba, i may be tarded but it don't top me fum lubbin yur ear and u hairy legs" Then out of nowhere came....

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 09:08 AM
...a platoon of Waffen-SS Panzers.

Camel_Toe(l)
14th Nov 2001, 09:09 AM
Mondogay with a "muddy" face gasping for air. "It seems that Andre hasn't wiped in awhile" he said in a sultry voice. Cholo, startled, yet aroused, grabs 2 wine glasses, a 40 of OE, and

(damn, insta-posted, was in reply to Gnat's comment)

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 09:24 AM
a bag o peanuts!! as he sits back to watch mondogay and andre do their thing Cholo thinks to himself...."camel may have taken it across the line, just a bit too far..." but he soon forgets about that and gets back to watchin andre grab mondogay and...

Camel_Toe(l)
14th Nov 2001, 09:30 AM
then Dakin, still in ecstacy from his previous experience, sees all the fun that is going on and becomes enraged by jealousy. He pulls out an m9 and

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 09:36 AM
...points it at the 2 homos, trigger finger trembling.... he burst out into tears and says, "I'm sorry daddy, I'm so sorry!!! I can't shoot u daddy andre.... I feel so ashamed, will u ever forgive me??" Daddy andre diverts his attention to dakin and says "no boy, u just wait ur turn and i'll forgive you after i finish forgiving mondogay". Dakin flashesback to his childhood... Ohhh no daddy! no please dont..... HE SUDDENLY Turns the gun on himself and -POP- the sound of the m9 rings out...

Camel_Toe(l)
14th Nov 2001, 09:43 AM
Andre, seeing his son, Dakin, attempting suicide bellows out in laughter and yells I knew you had bad aim!!! Dakin, shaking and teary eyed, pulls the pin on a frag and jumps on it...

Rostam
14th Nov 2001, 09:52 AM
the server had explosive ammo turned on and they both died

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 10:05 AM
meenwhile back at planet hollywood, gryphon was seen hitting on arnold shwartzenager. The manager darkbls, walked up to gryphon and...

Camel_Toe(l)
14th Nov 2001, 10:31 AM
heard him use excessive profanity and tacky innuendoes and saw that Arnold was offended. DBLS, shook his head and looked down and saw that gryph was inching his pants down as he talked to A.S. and slapped a large "CENSORED" sign on him! Gryph turned to BLS...

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 10:44 AM
...and whacks him over the head, anime-style, with a giant hammer labeled "First Amendment Freedom Of Speech".

Strider, the interfering fellow that he is, teleports in and points out that this is private property, therefore freedom of speech doesn't apply; overcome by the force of logic, Gryph...

Keganator
14th Nov 2001, 10:48 AM
Collapses. However, since Arnold had Gryph on ignore...

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 12:31 PM
...he only sees Strider and DarkBLS ranting on doofi (plural of doofus) who don't read contracts before signing them.

Then he realizes that since he does the same thing, they are by exension calling him a doofus. Glaring daggers at them, he snarls "I HAVE A VERY GOOD AGENT!"

"Huh?" Strider and DarkBLS blink in confusion...mistaking it for derision, Arnold...

Cholo Grande
14th Nov 2001, 12:31 PM
...

Cholo Grande
14th Nov 2001, 12:32 PM
damn instapost!

Fuct
14th Nov 2001, 12:35 PM
confessed. He told them that......

Cholo Grande
14th Nov 2001, 12:36 PM
passes out from a massive Darvocet overdose and pees all over himelf. Meanwhile Marion Barry is carpet crawling for his next rock.

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 12:41 PM
Looks like ya got instaposted again, Cholo.

...Strider steps on Marion Barry. Unfortunately, Strider is currently demonstrating how heavy a n00b loadout really is, therefore he is staggering around under the weight of a combat pack + Robar + M-16 w/ ACOG and M-203 + M-3 + Five seveN.

With a loud crack...

Camel_Toe(l)
14th Nov 2001, 12:45 PM
Arnold slaps Strider in the face and yells "stop the shameless self promotion Strider!!!" Then Arnold turns around and plays Donkey Kong on the Atari 2000 until...

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 12:57 PM
...sadamm hussein enters the room with his canadian looking flap jaw - terrance and phillips on each side, screaming about how operation get behind the darkies was a complete failure and...

Keganator
14th Nov 2001, 01:46 PM
his cohort in arms, Osama, is now being gangprobed by aliens. "The aliens tried to get me, too" said Saddam, but it failed because of ...

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 01:50 PM
...the superb defense shield put up by terrance and phillips's gastro-engineered stink bombs for which the aliens were not prepared. Sadamm calls satan up on his celley, satan come on up i have em right here. We can now do all those things to them, like...

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 02:06 PM
"Dodge this." interrupts Strider rudely, sucker-punching Saddam and then stitching him with 5.7mm X 28 AP ammo.

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 02:10 PM
"Stand clear!!" exclaim the Birdman Arms people, "Let the EXPERTS handle this!"

All eyes go wide, all bodies hit the deck as they draw their massive chrome NUKE-50 micronuclear .50BMG pistols...

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 02:15 PM
Then just as the birdman folk were taking aim through their cup complete with black string cross-hairs, Satan himself bursts up through crumbling rocks in the center of the field. He says, "Sadamm come with me, you know I am the only one that really loves you, and I'll let u call me bitch. Just hurry before you get hurt my precious..." Everyone stands, and stares in disbelief at the remarkably gay tone of satan's voice. Then...

Donnellizer
14th Nov 2001, 02:24 PM
Out of nowhere, Ballistophobia backflips into the room and exclaims "I do gymnastics, take me now Satan!". Satan responds...

Keganator
14th Nov 2001, 02:27 PM
"Come (sp?) with me." He then leaves with Saddam and Satan into the next room, where many grunting sounds are then heard, followed by a sheep's baa. This lead the Birdman Arms people to...

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 02:35 PM
pack up their sh1t and go home, mumbling "wtf was that sh1t? ehh i dunno............. i just dont know" The one eyed one horned flying purple people eater sat on a branch in a nearby tree. Hearing the birdman arms people discuss their new project he decided that it was time to put an end to their silly antics. So he swoops down to them and...

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 02:41 PM
...is interrupted by his cousin, Barney. "I love you..."

CHOMP.

Donnellizer
14th Nov 2001, 02:42 PM
The one eyed one horned flying purple people eater glares menacingly at them with his one eye. The men are so frightened by this (and his purple hue, crimes against human aesthetics) they jump into his open mouth to escape him.

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 02:47 PM
So then the one eyed one horned flying purple people eater makes his way over to satan, sadamm, and balli. The upcoming battle is inevitable...

Keganator
14th Nov 2001, 03:08 PM
...but catching them in the 'act', Satan is for the first time unprepared. He then makes a deal with the Purple People Eater, that if he would screw a cat right there and then, he could put the battle off for one hour.

(um, to fully understand that, you need to read Sluggy Freelance Presents: Kitten (http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=000626) from the beginning, or for a quick really funny summary, click here (http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=000730)

Jotun
14th Nov 2001, 03:17 PM
Satan jizzes fire uncontrollably while...

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 03:34 PM
...sadam, and balli make their escape! Leaving satan and the one eye one horned flying purple people eater alone. Satan, says "thank god their gone, that little sadamm, only wants sex, and he doesn't respect me....." The one eyed one horned flying purple people eater says "come here my child, allow me to comfort u" Satan walks over with both heads hung low and says, "ohh momma why do they treat me this way?" THe one eyed one horned flying purple people eater responds....

Jotun
14th Nov 2001, 03:38 PM
because you were born with only one testicle my son. Satan sobs and...

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 04:28 PM
and they both walk off into the sunset. Little did they know Big bird, 124 thousand 573 miles away had a plan... A plan to...

Jotun
14th Nov 2001, 05:01 PM
EAT HIS OWN POOP

GNAT
14th Nov 2001, 06:05 PM
but unfortunately statan had cursed big birds arse shut. Franticly looking for a way to un bind his arse big bird sets out to find satan, take his mother the one eyed one horned flying purple people eater hostage, and force satan into fixing his arse. Big bird employs a long time friend and sex partner for help along the way by the name of....

striderteen
14th Nov 2001, 06:09 PM
Xena the Warrior Slut.

Cholo Grande
14th Nov 2001, 06:30 PM
Who harvests embryos on the side for research into making Wang Chung super clones.

Keganator
15th Nov 2001, 03:52 PM
The Wang Chug super clones then, under direction by statan, stormed over the earth, consuming it all in darkness and evil.

GNAT
15th Nov 2001, 04:13 PM
Except for the little old whore that lived in a shoe, ya know the one with all the illegit kids... anyways she had her doors closed up and they skipped right over the wore out tramp, thinking to themselves... "who the hell would live in a shoe anyway?" So the little ole slut ina shoe stepped outside to see that everything in the world was now evil, and she had to do something about it.
So she...

Keganator
15th Nov 2001, 04:18 PM
...she, since Infiltration 3.0 was out, picked up her Styer Scout + G36 loadout and headed off towards the horizon. The entire army of the Wang Chung Superclones were standing outside a rather large...

LifesBane[4C]
15th Nov 2001, 05:16 PM
...statue of Jim Belushi without underpants, which proceeded to tip over and smash the troops into a scrap-heap. And there was much rejoicing...

GNAT
15th Nov 2001, 06:14 PM
... the END!

Jotun
15th Nov 2001, 06:16 PM
or is it... MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

DENSRAW
15th Nov 2001, 06:31 PM
YES! IT IS THE END... of Chapter One. We will now continue to Chapter 2: The Curse of The Deathren.

Jotun
15th Nov 2001, 06:37 PM
someone with alot of time needs to put the story together and post it :)