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QUALTHWAR
7th Nov 2001, 07:22 PM
Anybody have any funny animal stories besides animal sex that some of you sickos engage in?

Deathwing
7th Nov 2001, 08:12 PM
My neighbor had a party in the summer and their two dogs decided to get it on right in the middle of the back yard.

And before anyone asks, no, I did not engage in sex along with them.

DigitalW
7th Nov 2001, 08:21 PM
I saw a large dog trying to get it on with a small dog...
They got hung up, and the big dog started running around the yard dragging the smaller dog behind him.....

That had to hurt!!!!

Rukee
8th Nov 2001, 06:58 AM
I saw a girl at the store last week....her butt was sooo big!!! (how big was it??) She could have put a 12 pack on that sucker and walked out of the store without holding it!!! :p

Balton
8th Nov 2001, 07:41 AM
hm...
how about bugs bunny for you qualth? should solve your boredness...

QUALTHWAR
8th Nov 2001, 07:43 AM
Originally posted by Deathwing
I did engage in sex along with them.

I'm sorry to hear that.

QUALTHWAR
8th Nov 2001, 07:44 AM
Originally posted by DigitalW
I saw a large dog trying to get it on with a small dog...
They got hung up, and the big dog started running around the yard dragging the smaller dog behind him.....

That had to hurt!!!!

Oh, man. We had dogs when i was a kid that would do that. They would be butt to butt wandering around the yard. Talk about dancing cheek to cheek.

Deathwing
8th Nov 2001, 06:19 PM
Originally posted by QUALTHWAR


I'm sorry to hear that.

Oops, I'll have to fix that. But there's a NO in front of it. :D

QUALTHWAR
8th Nov 2001, 09:21 PM
A friend trained his dog to eat with a spoon. It would place the spoon in a bowl of dog food, use its paw to push it into the food, then push down to lift up the spoon and eat. The weird part about it all was there was no spoon.

QUALTHWAR
8th Nov 2001, 09:40 PM
Oh, yeah...sorry:

Cat Fuzz
8th Nov 2001, 11:49 PM
Originally posted by QUALTHWAR
Oh, yeah...sorry:

Thats GOTTA be a fake pic! Those asses are just too huge to be supported by those skinny upper bodies. Besides, the gravitational pull alone would clean off the beach!

Deathwing
9th Nov 2001, 01:31 AM
That's a joke pic that's been around for ages.

QUALTHWAR
9th Nov 2001, 07:32 AM
Originally posted by Cat Fuzz


the gravitational pull alone would clean off the beach!

AHahah ahh ah ahahhah

QUALTHWAR
9th Nov 2001, 07:32 AM
Mommy!! Iím getting pulled towards those huge objects over there!

Chrysaor
9th Nov 2001, 11:47 AM
o help :|

the big butt monster is trying to swallow me. oh dear. run, run.

Rukee
9th Nov 2001, 11:53 AM
QUAL's avitar is practicing to spank their butts!!! :p

Cat Fuzz
10th Nov 2001, 11:20 AM
Originally posted by Rukee
QUAL's avitar is practicing to spank their butts!!! :p



That would take WEEKS!

lucifix
11th Nov 2001, 07:08 AM
Damnit Qualth, oh dear god............I'M BLIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

QUALTHWAR
11th Nov 2001, 08:04 PM
baby got back:

Vendetta
12th Nov 2001, 02:11 AM
back to the animal stories.
my dad had a dog named "duke" back when i was a kid. we also had 2 other dogs, 1 being a female. there was an area underneath a portion of my dads house that he made into a doghouse. for some reason i was looking for duke and i poked my head in the doghouse looking for him. i saw him ****ing the female dog. he didnt see me right away cuz he was facing away. so i just sat there until he noticed me and when he did he had the look of "how long have you been standing there watching me you sick ****?" on his face. it was almost human. priceless.

QUALTHWAR
12th Nov 2001, 02:33 PM
When I was a kid, i had a dog in my neighborhood that had a lot of fur, including around its butt. The thing was constantly getting crap stuck to its fur and it would drag its butt down the sidewalk, the drive, the grass, the dirt, anything to get the dangling turds off. Youíd think with all that dragging going on, the thing wouldnít have any fur left on its @ss.

Balton
12th Nov 2001, 02:35 PM
...even children get older...

QUALTHWAR
12th Nov 2001, 02:36 PM
This is a story I heard the other day: This guy said when he was a kid, him and some friends would throw golf balls at cows to annoy them. When cows drop a load, itís nothing but a big, runny plop. Right after a cow had, ahem, unloaded the guy threw a golf ball at its butt and it stuck. He said the cow acted like nothing had happened.

Balton
12th Nov 2001, 02:39 PM
Originally posted by QUALTHWAR
This is a story I heard the other day: This guy said when he was a kid, him and some friends would throw golf balls at cows to annoy them. When cows drop a load, itís nothing but a big, runny plop. Right after a cow had, ahem, unloaded the guy threw a golf ball at its butt and it stuck. He said the cow acted like nothing had happened.

you left the "GOTCHA' " part out! :)

QUALTHWAR
12th Nov 2001, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by Balton.de


you left the "GOTCHA' " part out! :)

Go change your avatar. http://forums.beyondunreal.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Balton
12th Nov 2001, 02:50 PM
Originally posted by QUALTHWAR


Go change your avatar. http://forums.beyondunreal.com/images/icons/icon12.gif


"oh daddy, c'mon i want to stay awake the whole night with ya watchin' TV and stuff..."

"Go brush your teeth and than go to sleep!"

yep, you are married and are having childrens

Vendetta
12th Nov 2001, 03:32 PM
back to the cow****.
when i was a teenager a fried of mine came over to ride motocycles on my dad's land. when my friend was taking his turn on my bike he went into a powerslide and had the bike leaned over. his inside leg-the one supporting him and the bike slid right thru a pile of fresh cow****, and splattered right up his pant leg. inside and out. i got my turn early.

QUALTHWAR
12th Nov 2001, 03:41 PM
Again, a kid, living on a farm, and we had cows. We were walking through the pasture and the cows started following us. So we got scared and started running and they started running towards us. We hopped over an electric fence and got away. It was later that we learned that cows will follow you just because they are used to getting fed and they think youíre going to feed them. If you run, they will run; if you slow down, they will slow down.

QUALTHWAR
12th Nov 2001, 03:47 PM
We let somebody use our pasture to keep a horse. We would ride it occasionally and once the thing started bucking on me. It headed straight for a barn and I ducked just in time as the thing went through the doorway. Once inside, it stopped at a gate and started bucking more and I let go of the reins. It bucked me back on its rear, then bucked again. I went up in the air and came down right on my feet. I didnít get hurt a bit. It scared me; I thought I was going to get kicked, but instead it turned out to be sorta funny.

QUALTHWAR
12th Nov 2001, 03:51 PM
There were these twins that wanted to ride our horse. As one was doing so he started slipping from the saddle. As he was slipping, getting more and more ready to fall off, the horse ran right past a metal feeder bin. The thing was mostly hollow, with thin metal, and the horse banged the guy right off him against the bin. There was a loud boom, and the horse kept going as the guy laid on the ground moaning. It was hilarious.

Vendetta
12th Nov 2001, 03:53 PM
i got chased by a goat once. (not GoAt)
he wasnt that big but he had some long horns so i ran for the nearest fence.
i was in "his" pasture so i dont have any hard feelings.

QUALTHWAR
12th Nov 2001, 04:01 PM
A friend and I were in a pasture at his place and there was a bull fenced in there. The thing charged at me and I just stood still. The fence was maybe 15 or 20 feet away, so I waited until it got closed and dived out of the way. It just kept going like a freight train, and I ran over and hopped the fence like I should have done in the first place.

Rabid Wolf
13th Nov 2001, 12:47 AM
I once got bitten by a squirrel.
was feeding it hazelnuts from off my palm, and it just sat there and munched, and I thought I could pet its head with my thumb...
the bloody fierce creature hit its teeth straight through the nail of my thumb into the soft flesh beneath.

Vendetta
13th Nov 2001, 12:50 AM
i bet you had squirrel for dinner.

Rukee
13th Nov 2001, 06:42 AM
When I was little (about 5-6)I pissed on an ellectric frence. :(
It was one of those pulsating ones so it didn`t hurt right away....but when that sucker zapped me.........ooooowwwwwwwccccccchhhhhhhh!!!!!

Balton
13th Nov 2001, 07:14 AM
Originally posted by Rukee
When I was little (about 5-6)I pissed on an ellectric frence. :(
It was one of those pulsating ones so it didn`t hurt right away....but when that sucker zapped me.........ooooowwwwwwwccccccchhhhhhhh!!!!!

yeah, I was puting once leaes on such an e-fence. yozu felt a pulsating feeling when still holding the leaves. had to watch out or the leaves could have start to burn. anyway it was like a pacemaker so i felt sick after a few leaves and had to stop....