I had the worst case of swamp a$$ last night

[BillyBadAss]

I wiped my a$$ 3 times over the course of the night and it kept coming back!

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I'll eat your gun lead and sh*t out No.2 pencils!


[This message has been edited by BillyBadAss (edited 03-17-2000).]

[CHRYSt]

Wow, you must be a super hero. You're A$$ Swamp Boy.

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"Where's the BACTINE?! Some of this blood is MINE!!" -- JTHM

[FenderTX]

doood what is swamp *** ? no scratch that don't' tell me...its not contagious right? whatever it is I think you should see a doctor

[BillyBadAss]

It is when you get a sweaty a$$hole.

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I'll eat your gun lead and sh*t out No.2 pencils!

[Morety]

LOL. Well suited for your name. /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

How about "Sally Swamp *** ".

I've been thinking about using the name "WarmSloppyTaco".

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I like you better in your rags, Cinderella, 'cause that's when you like to play.

[BillyBadAss]

How about "Warm Hairy Taco"? When I was in junior high my parents had not a clue what a hairy taco was. When my Mom would ask where we were going I would say, "We're going out to go get some hairy Tacos." To this day I don't think she knows. /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

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I'll eat your gun lead and sh*t out No.2 pencils!

[Morety]

roflmao!!!!!

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I like you better in your rags, Cinderella, 'cause that's when you like to play.

[Morety]

Ever thought about dropping the trousers, straddling a towel, put one hand in the front and one in the back and then using it like a big soft fluffy piece of dental floss? That'd help.

If it keeps coming back after that...stick a kotex up there. Then you can ride horses, play tennis, and all sorts of neat stuff.

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Because hey, if it weren't for Llamas? I wouldn't seem like such a great guy.

[el Gato|PuF]

:) ====> :o

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Wish I was oceansize...

[el Gato|PuF]

Fluffy bunnies are another good cure for swamp a$$. Just wipe and release!

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Wish I was oceansize...

[Dus]

Morety, I would just like to say:
YOU'RE SICK, MAN!


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I'm a crackhead, if you see me freak: RUN!!

[Morety]

Swamp as$ would make it really hard to play computer games naked. You'd slide off the chair. Not only that, it'd leave unsightly skid marks on the furniture.

Maybe use the device in the "Frag and pee" thread.

Bunnies make good kotex' too. I hear women like the way they wiggle around when in use.

http://www.planetunreal.com/images/bullet2.gif
Because hey, if it weren't for Llamas? I wouldn't seem like such a great guy.

[maxrevs]

next time you cap the flag , take it , hide , and run it up and down the crack of your a$$ , that way , the opposition won't want to get their flag back!!!!

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See the nowhere crowds cry nowhere tears of honour.

[Morety]

LOL! But then I wouldn't wanna keep it. :)

http://www.planetunreal.com/images/bullet2.gif
Because hey, if it weren't for Llamas? I wouldn't seem like such a great guy.

[el Gato|PuF]

Rub the swamp out of your a$$ with the redeemer, then launch it. Nothing like the smell of nuclear-burned swamp-a$$!

"Now you're cooking!"

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Wish I was oceansize...

[el Gato]

Ahhhh, swampa$$...

I saw a Skaarj squatting over a fresh kill the other night. I think he was wiping his swampa$$ on the Xan beneath him. :)

[XtraT]

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA @ Morety & El Gato

[Toolvana]

Mmmm, is that swamp-@ss I smell?

[SkummyB|BuF]

*flushhhhhhhhh* yep, sure is toolie :)

[CHRYSt]

Swamp ***? That's nothing a little wire brush scrubbing can't fix!

[Troll|PuF]

what the HELL possessed me to even LOOK in this thread ???


/me scuttles away hiding her eyes


Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[el Gato]

Being that Billy has returned, it seems fitting that this post be once again resurrected in honor of him.

Plus it's one of my favorite threads! :)

As you all know, swampa$$ never goes away. It forever stains. May as well embrace it!

[BillyBadAss]

All hail my a$$!

[Morety]

I'll be damned if here it is popping up again. (The thread, not the swampa$$) LOL Gato you bumpin' b@stard. :D

Billy, I'd happily hail your @ss, but I'm not gonna bend over to do it. :)

Speaking of bending over, maybe you could get the neighbourhood kids to help you out with the swampa$$. Just get them all SuperSoakerSquirt guns, drop the drawers, bend over and let them take target practise. That'd work fine for Uncle Billy as long as the parents' don't find out.

But, like Gato says, it's here and you have to live with it. So I'd suggest a page from the holey book of CHRYSt and use the swamp@ss to make some extra spicy Margarita Rimmin's.

[BillyBadAss]

It is gone now. Dry as a desert. AHHHHHHHHHH!

[Morety]

...and it only took 5 months to go away. :D

Hahahaha.

Your swampass may be gone Billy, but swampass itself is here to stay. Now I wanna start thinking of more cures...

[el Gato]

Hehe, supersoakers!

For those real bad nights of the swampies, go to your local carwash and use the 'magic' wand. Follow up with the foaming brush, and rinse with low pressure. I also suggest using the spray wax. It makes your next cleaning adventure easier. DO NOT USE THE ENGINE CLEANER MODE! YOUR A$$ WILL BURN FOR DAYS! :o It may sound like a good idea, but it causes the nastiest hemorroids known to man.

Or if you are running short on time, hang your a$$ out your car window and drive through a carwash. :)

[Goughmezz]

A bear and a rabbit were out in the woods. The bear asks the rabbit "Do you have a problem with sh*t sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replied "No." The bear then proceeded to wipe his *** with the rabbit.


I know it's dumb....

[el Gato]

Hehe, not dumb. I like that one.

[el Gato]

My new text taunt:

"Witness my anal leakage!"

Those who have played with me know I enjoy using my "Who else has swampa$$" text message.

[G-Lite]

Next time, use your momma's best dress... She will be sooo mad, she will be slapping your a$$!!! And then, everything comes out.. naturally... :D:cool::D

[el Gato]

LOL I think Red Oozing Anus would appreciate this one...

[Fear the Beard]

Speak of the devil, last night when I came home I had to go so bad it felt I was going to rupture my intestines.

When I finally reached the God of porcelain, I let out a fart that was so loud it almost made the windows oscillate.

and DAMN did it smell...

[Morety]

So Fear The Beard, why don't you do what I did in such a case. Paint the bathroom walls a deep beige, near brown colour. That works well at camouflaging any odorific staining.

My wife thinks that when I smoke cigarettes, that I can exhale the smoke out of my anus. I use that excuse to explain the nicotine stains on my underwear.

She, however, will no longer buy me white underwear. :(

PS: Will this thread never go away? :D
PPS: /me hails the ass of BillyBadAss yet again.

[el Gato]

Hehe, no Morety, this thread will never go away. It's a classic!

[Fear the Beard]

haha

bump

[B]

try this for cleaning :D

http://www.gelings.nl/borstel4.jpg

[el Gato]

When my cat gets swamp@ss, he drags his arse on the carpet. Bad kitty :(. I guess that would also work for you, Billy. ;)

[BillyBadAss]

I havn't had it in a while, but with summer coming I am sure it is just around the corner.:)

[el Gato]

I had a severe case of swamp ass last night, now my bum is raw from all the wiping. :(:D

[el Gato]

BBA, summer is almost over, and you haven't posted about your swampass. Have you found a new cure or treatment, and are you holding back on us???

[BillyBadAss]

This summer I didn't get any.:( Maybe I'm losing my anal touch.:(

[Syri]

Maybe I'm losing my anal touch. :(

i'm gonna have to sig that!

[Morety]

Mine got itchy the other day.

[BillyBadAss]

One thing that feels good when you get O.B.A.S.(pronounced Oh-Bass) a.k.a. Ohio Burning ******* Syndrome. Take a hot wet wash cloth and rest it on your pooper. Makes it feel all better.:)

[]LoL[malkovich|mOO]

another thread i cant believe i am participating in ... :D ... but i couldnt let this go without comment ---> that joke seems much funnier to me if the rabbit says yes ...

thats all , nothing to share about my ass ... sorry to disappoint ... shirk ...

[GuySJS]

Ever get a bad case of swampa$$ when your working? I find that a good 3 or 4 swipes of old spice prevents this from happening.


Old Spice, because you dont have time for swamp a$$.

[Cobra07]

funny how your cat licks the bar when your done.....

[GuySJS]

Howd you....hey! gimme those IR goggles hoe!

[Cobra07]

muahahahaaaa

*quickly slithers away with super slither power*

[el Gato]

Originally posted by Morety
Mine got itchy the other day.

I think that means you are about to get a big wad of money. Or maybe it's that you got a big wad... ;)

[Morety]

Happy 10th BuFday BBA :D

[BillyBadAss]

Thanks man! Man, I havn't had swamp ass in a long time. I wonder what happened? Diet maybe? Who knows.