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Taskmaster
19th Jan 2000, 05:08 PM
When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.



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I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF!

Taskmaster
19th Jan 2000, 05:11 PM
Everything I Needed to Know, I Learned in Corporate America

1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

6. Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

18. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

19. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

20. By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

21. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

22. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

23. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

24. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.

25. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

26. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself project.



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I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF!

Lizard Of Oz
19th Jan 2000, 06:12 PM
#17 -- LOL

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"There is no point in tip-toeing through life to get safely to death."
"Whom ever sacrifices freedom for security get's nor deserves either."

-Lizard Of Oz -aka- {PuF}Lizard- nguid = 108675

SSSHAD
19th Jan 2000, 06:33 PM
lol! Taskmaster, i'll not to forget those while i'm doing my business degree

a dumb@ss
19th Jan 2000, 06:44 PM
i'll type it up and put it on the post board at work hehehehe /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

Lizard Of Oz
19th Jan 2000, 08:04 PM
http://www.DigitalLaughter.com/pix/mngmnt.jpg

http://www.planetunreal.com/images/bullet2.gif
"There is no point in tip-toeing through life to get safely to death."
"Whom ever sacrifices freedom for security get's nor deserves either."

-Lizard Of Oz -aka- {PuF}Lizard- nguid = 108675

Wolf Blackstar
20th Jan 2000, 01:33 AM
That is so true. This also applies to the military.

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-Wolf Blackstar

"A chainsaw! find some meat!"

SSSHAD
20th Jan 2000, 09:00 AM
That is so nice that i'm doing management major /~unreal/ubb/html/biggrin.gif

Taskmaster
20th Jan 2000, 10:12 AM
"It" flows downhill as they say and management will "dump" on you sometimes! /~unreal/ubb/html/smile.gif

Great picture!




http://www.planetunreal.com/images/bullet2.gif
I declare myself to be the self-annointed voice of reason for PuF!