View Full Version : !!! Important News for Mod Newbies !!!

3rd Apr 2000, 04:17 PM

!!! http://zeroes.overclocked.org/100blackjesus.jpg !!!

Black Jesus sez: Infiltration is not, never was, never will be Counter Strike, and I know because I'm the Alpha and the Omega. Yiah, you're going to Hell for ripping that one off, Xan Kriegor. Punk mofo.

I thank you. Black Jesus thanks you.

Disclaimer: If anybody is offended by blacks, Jesus, or the idea of Jesus being black, I apologize. I didn't realise you were hopeless skinhead losers.

Disclaimer #2: This is in response to the rash of recent "I saw this is Counter Strike..." posts. Please, dear God, this is not CS. If you saw something in CS, suggest it, just not on the premise that "it was in CS". Listen to Jesus, please. He loves you!, dammit.

Disclaimer #3: History indicates that Jesus was more than likely blacker than he was white (just like Cleopatra)

Disclaimer #4: In anybody makes a "soul" brotha joke, you'll get a smackin'.

[This message has been edited by Bad.Mojo too many damn times.]

[This message has been edited by Bad.Mojo (edited 04-03-2000).]

Mr. T
3rd Apr 2000, 04:27 PM
But Mojo, in CS, Jesus is white. (joking /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif)

I guess you weren't kidding Mojo, it IS possible for somebody to yell over a TCP/IP protocol suite.

3rd Apr 2000, 05:16 PM
Yep. Its not really anything against CS or anything like that... Its just Black Jesus and I both know that if something's cool, its cool because the idea thats behind it is cool, and not what context its in. Sure, CS has some awesome aspects to it, and that's great, and I don't mind people saying "I saw this in CS, and ..." or "I saw this in Team Fortress, and ..." What irks me is when somebody comes along and says "make this like Counter Strike" or "This is a Counter Strike rip off even though Serpentine and Infiltration were along way before it and probably inspired the authers of that mod but I'm to stubborn and insane and stupid to know what I'm talking about" That last quote was actually sarcastic, but hell. I mean, really. Suggesting something because its cool is one thing, but making false accusations (so very, very false) and suggesting something just because it was in CS (or any other mod for that matter... though I don't see anybody saying "Hey, I saw this in that mod for Wolfenstein 3D where you play as Ryu and Blanka throws sonic booms and Scorpion comes and does Sub-Zero's freeze on you and then Mario comes along and gives you some bong hits and then you kill a bunch of terrorists and use money and shoot through doors, SO YOU BETTER FRIGGIN' DO IT!".

I guess I have three principles in life:
And even if you don't care, YOU WILL READ THEM AND FOLLOW THEM.

1) Its not what you say but how you say it.
2) Its the not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog that matters.
3) Women are very soft and smell good and nice to look at and even nicer to the touch. Soooooooooooooo soooffffttttt

[This message has been edited by Bad.Mojo (edited 04-03-2000).]

Mr. T
3rd Apr 2000, 10:12 PM
Combat, now that was a cool war game. Or Air Sea Battle, I think it was called. Missile Command of course.

And then the revolutionary Ikari Warriors, and another similar game, Commando or something I think. Of course, that's back when Arcades were popular, if anyone remembers what those are anymore.

4th Apr 2000, 12:49 AM
Ikari Warriors kicked ass /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Catalyst (edited 04-03-2000).]

4th Apr 2000, 12:55 AM

is cook'n

4th Apr 2000, 03:26 AM
Bionic Commando was an awesome game, and so was POW and NARC in the arcades. And Jackal. Jackal was just to cool for words to describe.

Mr. T
4th Apr 2000, 03:43 PM
Yeah NARC was cool. Couldn’t you like get into a car and run into people in that game and their bodies would go flying?

Ikari Warriors was originally so cool because you could play with two people simultaneously! WOW! Shootout was a cool cops vs. Gangsters shooter. And Battlezone was a tank war game. Remember that, you had to look through the little view area used to simulate being inside a tank.

I was into other games too like Joust, Tron, and Spyhunter. Then I started playing fighters like Double Dragon, and Bad Dudes. Hehe BAD DUDES, what a name.

4th Apr 2000, 03:46 PM
Double Dragon the arcade game was awesome... Bad Dudes just sucked. The president was named Ronny, and he got kidnapped by ninjas... how many goddam ninjas run around kidnapping presidents? How the hell did they get passed all the secret service anyways? And then two guys with track pants and wife beaters and no guns whatsoever go out, kill all the ninjas, and save the day? WTF?

Cinema, simulated life and drama/Birthright, culture, Americana/
The change in adrenaline got you searchin' for/the thin line between entertainment and war
There be no shelter here/the front line is everywhere

4th Apr 2000, 04:25 PM
What the hell, Jesus is black???
Hell everybody knows he's green; he didn't want to be a racist and therefore decided to be neither black, yellow, red or white.
Just green and blue remained, and blue didn't fit his eyes.. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

oh, and what was that dog-story about. I didn't really get it..

Oh and BTW, would it be possible to add a weapon byuing system like in Cstrike, or make the whole mod like Cstrike.. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif / /infopop/emoticons\icon_wink.gif / /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif / http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~unreal/modcentral/html/sarcblink.gif

hehe, just like to see someone in anger..

Snakeye /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

anything you do can get you killed, including doing nothing

Mr. T
4th Apr 2000, 08:13 PM
I'll just reply on Mojo's behalf:


Well, damn. I meant to use the constipated angry face, but instead used the I just got kicked in the groin face.

[This message has been edited by Mr. T (edited 04-04-2000).]

4th Apr 2000, 08:31 PM
First off, the dog story is pretty basic stuff. It doesn't matter how big you are or strong you are, it matters how big and strong your balls are. Are you willing to go the extra mile and snap the guy's neck, or do you just wanna knock him out and lay him up in a hospital for a few weeks?

In response to Mr. T. Thank you very much for that post. I can think of about fifteen funny things relating to the word "kracken" most of them involving the obvious, and its been so long since I smiled.

Mr. T
4th Apr 2000, 08:33 PM
Anyway, Mojo, it’s full name was actually BAD DUDES VS. DRAGON NINJA. Which doesn’t exactly scream "Compelling, mind-challenging gameplay surrounded by an intricate and sophisticated plot."

5th Apr 2000, 06:42 AM
That's so very true, but still... I mean... Bad Dudes? You know we're going back to the early nineties when we hear "bad dudes". Hell, we just get over Flock of Seagulls, and then we get Bad Dudes... like, totally radical man.

Man, looking back at all this lingo is pretty sad. The only thing that's managed to outsurvive anything is the word "cool". One day, five to ten years from now, I'll be looking back at how stupid it was to run around saying "gat" and "chill" and "hood"...

But by that time we'll all be saying "MurderDeathKill".

5th Apr 2000, 08:07 PM
I LOVE commando and I can't seem to download the freaking ROMS for it and have it work (there are always two missing). If anyone has those, upload em to my i-drive (thornz) and I will worship you. Maybe not as much as black jesus, but still worship you.

NARC was cool too, b/c it was like the first game to be banned for violence! Well, prolly not the first, but the first with publicity.

jackal rocked!

and I don't understand how the bionic commando for nintendo rocked and the arcade version was kinda ghetto.

completely off topic, I just got finished reading "all quiet on the western front" and started playing UT, and had to stop playing b/c it felt like...I don't know. Wrong. UT makes me think of what nam must have been like, people with their heads suddenly inexplicably exploding when they are standing next to me. Only in nam, there wasnt a respawn. I guess the mockery was why I had to stop playing.

Mr. T
5th Apr 2000, 08:21 PM
Yeah, that book is pretty explicitly detailed. And you start to realize that real war isn't anything to make light of.

I love commando too, but it doesn't allow for two players simultaneously in Arcade version anyway. Ikari Warriors was an improvement in that regard.

5th Apr 2000, 08:58 PM
I think you're a little bit cock-eyed with your view of war, Mr. T.

A species that is above all natural predators, outrightly combats disease, adapts radically to new environments, has the ability to mold reality as it sees fit -- we need something to keep the population in check. Man therefore has the wonderful built in self-desctruction mode. Grand genocide. The more people in the world, the more wars. Wars are seemingly in direct proportion with the amount of people and territories in the world, just as peace time is the reciprocal.

If it wasn't for murder, man would go unchecked. I'm not condoning it, but if man stopped killing each other, we would propogate in viral proportions. We are a scourge, a rape of the natural world. We need something to keep us in check. And that something is us.

Think about what a world without war would be like. Ah, Utopia, yes? Sure, if your idea of Utopia includes grossly overpopulated cities in need of sorely lacking technology, famine, plagues of pandemic proportions, poverty, despair. It sounds alot like today, doesn't it? Only think of today, with the national guard stationed in the ghetto without any reserves fighting bloods and crips and the mafia, and in the middle of the crossfire were always tens of thousands of innocent people.

That's the future without war. Well, take out the warring factions. But imagine the DESPAIR that idea invokes, and then place it in that "Utopian" society -- I suppose I should have stated that outright, but hey.

5th Apr 2000, 09:24 PM
A better comparison..? YES!
Okay, picture war. War is brutal. War is violent. Picture your head exploding in a thousand pieces. Do you feel anything? No. You're dead, but death is inevitable. At least you were graced with a quick and painless demise. Now, you're out on the battle field. A searing pain rends through your gut and you collapse to the ground, clutching your abdomen and gasping. A field medic rushes out quickly, dodging bullets. He carries you off to a tent. You are operated on. The pain was excruciating, but you will survive. It will soon be forgotten. Or picture yourself being gutted. Your warm intestines spill out of you, splattering your crotch in bodily fluids and a deep crimson shower. The agony is unbearable - you think you're going to pass out - and grace be, you do. Your mind quickly slips to black, partly from the blood loss, partly from the terrible pain. And you never, ever wake up. Or maybe you do - all patched up, your insides okay - just a very nasty flesh wound, and some blood loss. Your stomach hurts, feels like indegistion, but you'll be okay. Here, have some more morphine... doesn't that feel better? Soon you'll go home. You'll go home to your clean, sterile home, and have something to eat. Your wife will make you breakfast every morning again. Your children will grow up happy knowing their father proudly served for freedom, and if you should die before you wake, your name will be spoken in an awed hush and forever will you live on in the memories and spirits of those masses you liberated from oppression, your sacrifice great though you are one. Will you go home to your family, or go home to God, soldier? Its up to you, but either way, you know you'll go into open, loving arms.

Flash forward to your Utopia without war. Billions upon billions of people. AIDS and Hepatitis have spread rapidly throughout the population, going unchecked due to the world's massive growth. Nature is put into a violent strangle hold and quickly spirals out of control. Entire forests are destroyed to build shanty towns, bleak wood and tin buildings erected like some warped churches meant to give hope to a crippled mass. Food - food is so scarce. So many people to feed, and yet the natural world has been destroyed to make room and to feed the rich, who are now defined as those who can afford to live in ghettos, under martial law, with no freedoms. Those are the rich. You walk the lonely streets of cities. Lonely? With so many people? You wonder to yourself. The words echo in your mind, and you realise that for all the people, there are no souls, just empty, glassy eyes begging for release from a long standing torment. You look down at your feet and see the emaciated body of a young child. She is no more than ten. Her lips are coated with a thin white film and you can quite clearly see her ribs. Flies walk on her, those tiny winged carrion eaters not even waiting for the soon to come death. Once some good high tech medical equipment could have saved her life, fed her an IV drip while doctors worked her back on solid food, but technology has made no leaps and bounds like it used to during war-time. Quite the opposite, it is as sparse as a healthy person, been hoarded by the few. Her mother sits by a brick wall, an equally thin waif huddled in a brown rag, trying desperately to cover her tiny body that has been ravaged by cold and hunger. You can see the puffy red circles around her eyes from the silent tears. You see those salty streaks of liquid creeping slowly down what could have been such beautiful cheeks. She has nobody now, her child lies dying no more than five feet in front of you. Yet you walk on. Apathy is your companion, it will not leave you. Once you felt. Once you were alive and you could touch and see and feel and hear. Now all you can grasp are the skeletal remains of buildings long collapsed since nobody could lift themselves for long enough to fix them. You look at an alcove in one such edifice, and the crumpled form of an old man lies beneath a blanket of old news papers. Years old, you'd guess by the terrible taint of brown. He coughs, and with that cough comes bile and blood. Once he could have received medical attention, but now that the world's population totals more than 11 billion, he can barely afford a three-eyed fish from the local polluted pond. And what with nature being raped so cruelly away, no natural occuring medicine or plant deritives could be formulated to make a single aspirin to comfort his tumourous headache. He looks at you in passing, as if you're some curious oddity, maybe the Messiah, somehow different from the ragged masses around, come from on high to free them, to love them and to reaffirm them, to set them free from this terrible, never ending nightmare. You walk silenty passed him. Soldiers in gas masks with assault rifles loaded with riot rounds and tear gas launchers stand near a tank, barking orders of curfew, and shouting that any who violate the no-violence laws will be dealt with swiftly and without mercy. The saline stench of that irony assails your nostrils, seemingly infused with the sweat of the camouflage-clad warriors. It brings back a memory - a distant memory. Once you were alive. You remember. You remember the last day - the last day you fought, the last day of fighting, ever, so many years ago. You had watched your friends die, some horribly decapitated by tank rounds. And the day you were discharged was the day the world peace accord was signed, and all fighting ended forever. Once you were alive. A doctor - he gave you some morphine and reassured you that even if the worst happened, you'd be loved and remembered forever for what you did -- saved your life after a terrible disemboweling. And you got this instead. Welcome to your future, soldier.

[This message has been edited by Bad.Mojo (edited 04-05-2000).]

Mr. T
5th Apr 2000, 11:27 PM
Mojo, you need to quit your day job and become a writer.

Anyway, I don't disagree with the view of war your wonderful illustration has portrayed. But war is hell. I don't give a f*ck about what it does for humanity in the long run. I'd much rather sit on my ass in front of my computer and play INF and Commando than f*ckin go through what some of those poor bastards went through in Nam and WWI, WWII.
Because I'm in it for the short term. And you know what, we're either headed for 11 billion or nuclear hulocaust F*CK how do you spell that word? haalo F*ck. Whatever!

I personally believe we will see a nuclear device detonated in the U.S. within the next 20 years. And maybe nuclear hou F*ck me. I need a dictionary.

Damnit, if I was still smoking pot, I'd have a hell of a lot better argument to present you. But beer just makes you forget how to spell.

OK. I will say this. When you're the poor Mother F*cker who is actually in the war, watching your buddies get their heads F*ckin blown off. Everyone you know dying all around you. The last Goddamn thing you're thinking about is "Hey, this is great, we're saving the world from torture and starvation, because WE'RE F*CKING KILLING EACHOTHER AND DECREASING THE POPULATION AND ALL MY F*CKING FRIENDS ARE DEAD AND MY COMMANDING OFFICER JUST GOT HIS F*CKING NUTS BLOWN OFF, SPATTERING THEM ALL OVER MY F*CKING FACE, AND I LOVE IT WOOOHOOOO! CAUSE WE'RE SAVING THE WORLD FROM STARVATION 200 F*CKING YEARS FROM NOW!!! Unless it's desert storm, of course, although I'm sure **** happened there too. But the greatest concerns on both sides involved How to Kick Ass or How to surrender.

Ehm. sorry about all the caps, but I hope you see the context under which I was making my original statement. Feel free to bash me into oblivian with your superior illustrations and spelling prowess. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Mr. T (edited 04-05-2000).]

5th Apr 2000, 11:55 PM
My day job? Man, there's no way in hell I'm quitting that. Its the most awesome job in the world. I like to call it "sleeping however damn late I want"

I know we're all in it for the short run, but look at all the agony around you. Look at all the people without consequences, who only live for the now. In our world, babies are as disposable as their diapers. Is that something you want to be a part of, to associate the tiny flicker that is your soul to that raging inferno of seething hatred and emotional avarice? I would rather dispose of my life, afterlife reassured or not, to serve the greater good. To know that I am truly continuing the survival of the species. Yes, I don't doubt that war is hell. But look around you, and you will see that hell is everywhere, not just the front lines. Some people are so desolate of mind that they drift aimlessly through a meaningless life of atavistic desires, hatred passed down through generation after generation, teaching them to serve only themselves. Some people are so innocent and sweet that those soulless people tear away what precious little they have and leave them nothing but a frightened, scarred shell to live out the rest of their days in.

This is what the world would be overrun by if the few weren't sacrificed for the many. I have always believed that. The needs of many outweigh the one. I would put a bullet through a child's head without even considering it if I knew it would ensure the happiness of 100 miserable people. Some people call that harsh, but I believe reality is harsh. Did that child do anything? Probably not. But 100 people have suffered and will continue to suffer if I don't kill it, so I must. Why should one child be happy when so many countless others are miserable not by their own doing?

That, I believe, it what seperates the war heros from the soldier. A war hero jumps on a grenade to save his fellow noncoms. A war hero takes a bullet to protect an intelligent leader. A war hero will give up his life to ensure a better life for his children and their children, and his neighbour's and countrymen's children. It would be a wonderful world indeed if war wasn't necessary to control mankind's spread, if mankind just accepted natures way. But we have somehow convinced ourselves that because we can make complex noises and poke at machines and we have opposable thumbs we are above the God and the World that birthed us, and so mankind will continue to fight nature, and so must continue to fight himself. Only when mankind accepts his role as a finite light in the vast universe will true peace reign, because then only killing for pure survival will occur. Man will only take life when he needs to eat, or is territorial threatened. He will no longer take life when he wants more oil wells or money or wants to laud his government as the superior one. In a way, war is a grand scale of nature's way, but a perverse one; man fights to survive, and must do so, but for the wrong reasons, and on a scope so magnificent that vast numbers of humanity must be wiped out at once to conform to the balance.

Every time anybody loses a life, its a sad thing. But if man wasn't pompous and smug, it would be much less sad indeed. If we learned to actually cherish and care for what we had, it wouldn't need to work this way. But we will never learn, because what we call our spirit will never, ever let us. And that is why it must continue this way, Hell or not.

Mr. T
6th Apr 2000, 12:04 AM
And in closing, man is doomed. Doomed because of it's very nature.

But at least in the meantime we can enjoy intelligent conversation and games to entertain our wonderous minds. Until next time...

6th Apr 2000, 12:13 AM
I really would make fun of your lack of ability to spell the worlds nuclear and holocaust, but that would be rude since in the best-case scenario, you're still like 5 years my elder.

I have something about people being older than me that I just naturally respect them and don't get mouthy with them.

Mostly because with age comes size... and yiah... I'm not quite willing to break anybody's neck in Orleans unless I really had to.

6th Apr 2000, 01:40 AM

Humans suck, and we have to suck to survive... now I finally get what all those bad guys in the movies television wanting to destroy the earth were getting at. Well thx Moj, now I'm either gonna commit suicide or waste 2 and a half ours thinking about population control. Either way you just took a piss on my day.

jk . ) ... but damn that is depressing.

Mr. T
6th Apr 2000, 02:48 AM
Buck up little camper! You'll be dead of natural causes long before then! Or a nuclear holocaust...MUWAHAHAHA!!!!

Oh and Mojo, I'm glad you didn't make fun of my spelling deficiencies.


"I really would make fun of your lack of ability to spell the worlds nuclear and holocaust"

At least I can spell... "words" MUWAHAHA!

Just kidding man, couldn't resist. It's good to joke around with my younger colleagues, ya' know.

BTW, Try at least 7 years. Also i'm 6'6", weigh 250 lbs, and lift weights daily. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

6th Apr 2000, 04:23 AM
Yea, but still... I can always just not give a rats ass and have fun and die, but damn that thought in the back of my head sucks... it's like the one agent in the matrix said, the human race is a virus. I just saw the end of this thing on some learning channel about inhabiting (infesting?) Mars... assuming we don't kill ourselves out too soon, it should be only a matter of time.

6th Apr 2000, 08:27 AM
lol... worlds. I love that. I love the irony of posts like that. "You cannot spell anything properly. get some grammer skills!"

One person actually said that to me. 1) Grammer does not mean spelling and 2) grammer is a word he made up, but I think he meant grammar which 3) also does not mean spelling.

6th Apr 2000, 08:30 AM
Sorry about ruining your day, man. Usually my bitter hatred for the world comes out in little spurts directed at targets which are, for the most part, humourous, however I occasionally explode into a flurry of depressive rain, directing all my angst squarely on society.

And yes, I really am a persian cat and monacle short of a James Bond villain.