View Full Version : Kick Me in the Head and Tell Me You Love Me

3rd May 2000, 12:05 AM
I was sitting downstairs, watching 3rd Rock From the Sun and slap-boxing the one-eyed champ looking at that hot alien chick when I realised I have a serious lack of any real friends.

I think my lack of friends stems from the fact that I hate everybody.

Now, that's an easy explanation for it all, and I figure the reason why I hate everybody is because fully half the people I know have "extendable" genitals, and the thought of a penis is so disgusting to me, I'd rather perform self-circumcision and then stick my newly changed member into an electrical outlet.

Pretty graphic? No kidding. But hey, think about this: A world of lesbians. This is my dream world, really. Who fights over pieces of paper and metal with faces and numbers on them? Men. Who fights over lines on a map? Men. The only thing I'd ever fight over if I was a women is if Shirley Jenkins told me my ass looked fat in my brand new Gap pants. And even then it would just be wussy hair pulling and goofy name calling. And if I ever wanted a baby, I could to my friendly Ms. Doctor, get my ovaries pumped full of X chromosomes, and go home with a nice toasty bun in the oven.

And who knows a woman's body better than a woman? Nobody would ever have to worry about pleasure again.

Nobody would ever drink out of the carton again, nobody would ever leave the seat up again, nobody would ever wipe their nose on the bread again (I DID IT ONCE... ONCE!!!)

Now, everybody run to your nearest underground doctor and create the fem Utopia we all know we want. For once, you might actually make your parents (Mom and Mom, now) proud.

***If you're friends with P, well then you're friends with me

If you're down with P, then you're down with me***

Now all I gotta do is sit on my thumbs and wait for the Thought Police to kill this one off.


3rd May 2000, 02:52 AM
You do have some interesting topics rolling around in your head.

The only thing is, is that we'd all be broke. Spent all our money on clothes.

What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?!!
Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough
attention when you were a child?!!!

3rd May 2000, 06:53 PM
good thin I've got O'brien on my speed-dial...

4th May 2000, 08:21 AM
don't blame the hate, mojo

i'm just as sick,twisted sdistic and evil as u are... but i've managed to scrounge up a few friends..not many but it beats floggin over 3rd rock

there is no knowledge that is not power

4th May 2000, 05:01 PM
Welp, I do have my little pack of social misfits that I lead and influence.

Let me introduce them:

Jenny (Morgan): Muh girl. Just as ****ed up as I am and her bitchiness is equal to if not surpassing my assholishness. Truly, a match made in some sort of ocean oil refinery cum infiltration map.

Jen: The other side of Morgan. My best friend's girl. A little on the strange side, but that's how I like 'em.

Blair: My best bud. I have alot of influence on him. A tad more psychotic then me, but he always follows orders.

Marty: The girl across the street. Like a sister to me. I'd lay down in traffic for her.

Liv: The other girl across the street. Loves me because I will always buy booze and smokes for her. Also, her friends think I'm the "best drug dealer".

So I have my little wolf pack, and I'm the alpha male. I just haven't gotten out of my humping legs stage yet.

Help control the people population, have your children spayed or neutered.

Environment/The environment exceeding on the level of our unconciousness
For example.../What does the billboard say?
Come and play/Come and play
Forget about the movement