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View Full Version : Winnie, mentally ill? Oh, bother!


the real pacman
13th Dec 2000, 11:53 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Psychological assessment finds Pooh & co. in need of medication

By HELEN BRANSWELL -- Canadian Press
TORONTO -- It all seemed so innocent, so carefree, When We Were Very Young.

But some Halifax doctors fear the magical world of Winnie-the-Pooh is inhabited by some Seriously Troubled Individuals.

Pooh is obsessive-compulsive, they say. Eeyore is chronically depressed. Piglet needs medication. Cute little Roo is a juvenile delinquent-in-the-making. And Christopher Robin has some gender issues.

"Sadly, the forest is not, in fact, a place of enchantment, but rather one of disenchantment, where neurodevelopmental and psychosocial problems go unrecognized and untreated," a team of developmental pediatricians opines in the holiday issue of the Canadian Medical Association Journal.

"It is unfortunate that an Expotition was never Organdized to a Child Developmental Clinic," they add.

Oh, bother!

The team, led by Dr. Sarah-the-Shea, studied the classic tales about the bear and his boy.

Its findings -- wryly tongue-in-cheek in keeping with the medical journal's tradition of lighter fare at Christmas -- conclude that there is a Dark Underside to the world A.A. Milne created for his son, Christopher Robin.

"I have to say -- I love these characters. But they've got issues," says Shea, a pediatrician specializing in developmental and behavioural pediatrics at Izaak Walton Killiam Hospital in Halifax.

Take Pooh, for starters.

"Pooh's perseveration on food and his repetitive counting behaviours raise the diagnostic possibility of obsessive compulsive disorder," they say, adding that even more striking is his obvious attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

The combination of the two suggest that over time, Pooh may develop Tourette's syndrome -- a neurological disorder in which people exhibit uncontrollable tics and at times outbursts of profanity, the doctors prognosticate.

They are also worried about Pooh's own admission that he is a Bear of Very Little Brain and suggest Christopher Robin may be to blame.

"Early on we see Pooh being dragged downstairs bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head. Could his later cognitive struggles be the result of a type of Shaken Bear Syndrome?"

Pooh could lead a much richer life were he on low-dose stimulation medication, they suggest, adding it might help him compose and remember more poems like the following:

"I take a PILL-tiddley pom;

It keeps me STILL-tiddley pom;

It keeps me STILL-tiddley pom;

Not fiddling."

Piglet's anxiety over the heffalumps proves he needs anti-panic drugs. Eeyore could do with a dose of St. John's wort as he suffers both from dysthymia (chronic depression) and anhe(haw)donia -- the inability to enjoy life.

"It clearly applies," Shea insists.

Wise old Owl -- who spells his name WOL -- is obviously dyslexic. Rabbit, who shows a persistent tendency to self-aggrandize and a compulsive need to organize the others has obviously missed his calling, the medical experts note.

"He clearly belongs in senior-level hospital administration."

The future looks bleak for Roo, the product of a single-parent household whose best friend, Tigger, has a recurrent pattern of risk-taking behaviour and suffers from both impulsivity and hyperactivity.

"We predict we will someday see a delinquent, jaded, adolescent Roo hanging out late at night at the top of the forest, the ground littered with broken bottles of extract of malt and the butts of smoked thistles."

Kanga's future too looks bleak, the doctors predict.

"It is highly likely that she will end up older, blowsier, struggling to look after several joeys conceived in casual relationships with different fathers, stuck at a dead end with inadequate financial resources."

And then there's Christopher Robin, he of the Prince Valiant haircut and questionable clothing.

"He's wearing dresses," Shea says flatly, though she acknowledged that given his young age there's probably "potential for change with time."

"The more psychoanalytical members of our group indicated that there could be some Freudian meaning to his peculiar naming of his bear as Winnie-the-Pooh," the doctors note.

So what does this say about our culture that this cast of misfits is arguably the most beloved in children's literature?

Shea suggests there is something redeeming in the fact that we love the denizens of the Hundred Acre Wood, warts and all.

"It could also say that our group has lost its collective mind," she adds with a hearty laugh.

That group -- Shea and doctors Ann-the-Hawkins, Janet-the-Kawchuk, Donna-the-Smith and Kevin-the-Gordon -- may next turn their attention to Kay Thompson's magical Eloise series.

Eloise, a rambunctious little girl who lives in New York's Plaza Hotel, gets up to all sorts of high jinks under the lax guidance of her minder, Nanny.

"Nanny clearly drinks," Shea says.
[/quote]

I always said that there are some people that should never be allowed to bear firearms. This shrink is one of them.

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<a href=mailto:pacman@planetunreal.com>Pacman</a>|<a href=http://www.planetunreal.com/redeemer>The Redeemer</a>
I write messeges on money, its my own form of social protest.
A letter printed on paper that no one will destroy.

Keiichi
14th Dec 2000, 01:46 AM
Speak for yourself, dude. Winnie the Pooh scares the bejesus out of me. :rolleyes:

-Keiichi

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deathren
14th Dec 2000, 02:29 AM
Ive got tourettes. I give it a http://boards.infopop.net/infopop/icons1/icon13.gif Its really bad this time of year, my worst tic is a fast, hard, head shake. But some people got worse tics. I got off lucky. :)

P.S. I love winnie the pooh, I think he is funny! I don't watch it religiously though, Only when there is nothing else to do. It's a hell of a lot better than Captain Planet!

"Something about the battle Excites people's emotions."

-Lady Une, Gundam Wing

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jaunty
14th Dec 2000, 06:22 AM
winnie the pooh needs to pull his cok out of the honey pot and go maul someone like a real bear. hehehehe :)

on a more serious note however, i really dont like that bear, the donkey, the badly drawn/coloured rabbit, then incresingly worse coloured 'roo and most of all THAT ****KING TIGER !!! i dont care if it is fiction, its twisted, i think kids would benefit more from a good long game of "alice"

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[Iceman]
14th Dec 2000, 06:42 AM
Hey Pac, I think if you typed that very entertaining piece of documentation that you to need a Hobby ;) .

Iceman.

[One Shot ,One Kill ,No Mercy]

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ShakKen
14th Dec 2000, 07:19 AM
If I am not here, I think therefore... I must be gone.

Oh bother.

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JonnyBoy
14th Dec 2000, 08:03 AM
wow, this is so ironic. i heard this on radio 102.1(a classic rock station in springfield mass) and i was about to make a post about it!!

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the real pacman
14th Dec 2000, 04:33 PM
I read it on a website and posted it. If you don't know the copy and paste shortcut keys I think you are the one that needs a new hobby.

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But you will never forget you forgave and forgot.

Goat Fucker
14th Dec 2000, 06:00 PM
Whinie the poo is all about the holocaust.
Just look at it......it screems nazi cosentration camp!

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Changed name from Goat ****er.

Acey4 NA
14th Dec 2000, 06:19 PM
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!that was the damn funnyiest thing ive heard all week!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

P.S. Winnie-The-**** :D :D :D :D :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :p :p :p,i wish the little brat on that show would stop screwing his honey "teddy bear"

its right out side the door,now testify! :D

the real pacman
14th Dec 2000, 07:38 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Whinie the poo is all about the holocaust.
Just look at it......it screems nazi cosentration camp! [/quote]

How the hell do you figure that? You are on some ****ed crack. Its the damn most hillarious thing I heard in a long time though.

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<a href=mailto:pacman@planetunreal.com>Pacman</a>|<a href=http://www.planetunreal.com/redeemer>The Redeemer</a>
You forgive and forget.
But you will never forget you forgave and forgot.

Goat Fucker
14th Dec 2000, 08:08 PM
It is dude, just look at the undertones, all the hiden messages...have u ever tryed to backmask poo, its nazi propaganda at its worst.
Look at the donkey, he's the inbodyment of the jews for christ sake.
Its all a conspiracy to get kids into nazisem, the KKK is even reprisented in the form of Tigger.
If u have ever seen pictures of Bugenwald, u can clearly draw the paralels to "the hundred acre woods", its perverted to put it mildly.

Now look at the owl, if that isent a "toonified" picture of Göring, then i dont know what is, its so obvious, one should think they'd hide it better.

Now look at the rabit, hes so obviously Rudolf Hess, the guy the new nazi's worship as their god.

Roo....Hitlerjugend ring a bell now?, well it should, Roo playing with Tigger is propaganda for the union of the new nazi's and the KKK.

OK, time to get serious...

Hehe, let me explain, some time ago, a guy i went to school with got....uhm..displeased with the way i can take ANYTHING, and turn it into something evil, its just my little way of having fun.
To put it short, we got into an argument and he ended up screaming "YOU PROBABLY THINK WINNIE THE POO IS ABOUT THE HOLOCAUST TOO, YOURE A FREAK!"

Well, i found that damn funny, so it kinda stuck with me.
I know im sick, but im gonna milk it for everything its worth :D

.....J/K

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Changed name from Goat ****er.

the real pacman
14th Dec 2000, 09:12 PM
:D that was the most amusement I had all day. Oh and glen, help me, I'm turning into a pothead. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so, but am I just nieve?

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<a href=mailto:pacman@planetunreal.com>Pacman</a>|<a href=http://www.planetunreal.com/redeemer>The Redeemer</a>
You forgive and forget.
But you will never forget you forgave and forgot.