[sarcasm] dear INF team members,
since i am the only human on the planet playing your crappy game right now, and there are no other playing styles but mine, i hereby demand that the following modifications be made to enhance my personal experience:
1. the bots should belch and fart. nothing adds to strategic realism like a little bodily functions. it would give away their positions that i might frag them more efficiently. they should also stop in dark corners or behind dumpsters and take a leak, so i can sneak up behind them. real soldiers take leaks, don't they.
2. the bots should combine and morph into a giant killer robot with tactical nukes that makes an impossible foe, since i am such an uber-fragger. i grow tired of playing your game for hours on end and having such a ripping good time winning.
3. maybe you could even add some sort of manual control system that would allow another human to connect to my game, thru some sort of network interface, and control the bots. telling them when to move, what to shoot at, and when to fart.
4. your aiming system is for sh*t. it should be more and less random. perhaps it could auto-aim somtimes, so i never miss. other times it should shake rattle n' roll like it has a double-D cell vibrator up its buttstock. this would make it ever so much better.
for those who want to emulate me, if other players ever materialize, here are my bindings:
a - strafe left
s - move forward
d - strafe right
r - reload
t - toggle weapon
f - fart
w - whine
x - sniffle
c - cry like a little girl when i get my ass handed to me on a silver platter in online play because i spent all this time in a circle jerk with the freakin' bots.
in closing, gentlemen, your game 'suxors'. and i should know. i play it 6 straight hours a day, from the time i get off the short bus until my mommy tucks me into my little race car bed at nite. now if you'll excuse me, i have to throw a temper tantrum and get daddy to buy me a T1.
[/sarcasm]
[This message was edited by tripnine on Dec 03, 2000 at 14:58.]
since i am the only human on the planet playing your crappy game right now, and there are no other playing styles but mine, i hereby demand that the following modifications be made to enhance my personal experience:
1. the bots should belch and fart. nothing adds to strategic realism like a little bodily functions. it would give away their positions that i might frag them more efficiently. they should also stop in dark corners or behind dumpsters and take a leak, so i can sneak up behind them. real soldiers take leaks, don't they.
2. the bots should combine and morph into a giant killer robot with tactical nukes that makes an impossible foe, since i am such an uber-fragger. i grow tired of playing your game for hours on end and having such a ripping good time winning.
3. maybe you could even add some sort of manual control system that would allow another human to connect to my game, thru some sort of network interface, and control the bots. telling them when to move, what to shoot at, and when to fart.
4. your aiming system is for sh*t. it should be more and less random. perhaps it could auto-aim somtimes, so i never miss. other times it should shake rattle n' roll like it has a double-D cell vibrator up its buttstock. this would make it ever so much better.
for those who want to emulate me, if other players ever materialize, here are my bindings:
a - strafe left
s - move forward
d - strafe right
r - reload
t - toggle weapon
f - fart
w - whine
x - sniffle
c - cry like a little girl when i get my ass handed to me on a silver platter in online play because i spent all this time in a circle jerk with the freakin' bots.
in closing, gentlemen, your game 'suxors'. and i should know. i play it 6 straight hours a day, from the time i get off the short bus until my mommy tucks me into my little race car bed at nite. now if you'll excuse me, i have to throw a temper tantrum and get daddy to buy me a T1.
[/sarcasm]
[This message was edited by tripnine on Dec 03, 2000 at 14:58.]