I DEMAND THESE FEATURES NOW!

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tripnine

New Member
Nov 14, 2000
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[sarcasm] dear INF team members,

since i am the only human on the planet playing your crappy game right now, and there are no other playing styles but mine, i hereby demand that the following modifications be made to enhance my personal experience:

1. the bots should belch and fart. nothing adds to strategic realism like a little bodily functions. it would give away their positions that i might frag them more efficiently. they should also stop in dark corners or behind dumpsters and take a leak, so i can sneak up behind them. real soldiers take leaks, don't they.

2. the bots should combine and morph into a giant killer robot with tactical nukes that makes an impossible foe, since i am such an uber-fragger. i grow tired of playing your game for hours on end and having such a ripping good time winning.

3. maybe you could even add some sort of manual control system that would allow another human to connect to my game, thru some sort of network interface, and control the bots. telling them when to move, what to shoot at, and when to fart.

4. your aiming system is for sh*t. it should be more and less random. perhaps it could auto-aim somtimes, so i never miss. other times it should shake rattle n' roll like it has a double-D cell vibrator up its buttstock. this would make it ever so much better.

for those who want to emulate me, if other players ever materialize, here are my bindings:

a - strafe left
s - move forward
d - strafe right
r - reload
t - toggle weapon
f - fart
w - whine
x - sniffle
c - cry like a little girl when i get my ass handed to me on a silver platter in online play because i spent all this time in a circle jerk with the freakin' bots.

in closing, gentlemen, your game 'suxors'. and i should know. i play it 6 straight hours a day, from the time i get off the short bus until my mommy tucks me into my little race car bed at nite. now if you'll excuse me, i have to throw a temper tantrum and get daddy to buy me a T1.

[/sarcasm]

[This message was edited by tripnine on Dec 03, 2000 at 14:58.]
 

Dark Knight

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Mar 29, 2001
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...and the point of that post was???

:~)

I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.
-- Homer J. Simpson
 

deathren

Dusty ****er.
Nov 26, 1999
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Man, he is funny!

I really love the part about race car beds and tantrums! :cool:


"Something about the battle Excites people's emotions."

-Lady Une, Gundam Wing

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deathren

Dusty ****er.
Nov 26, 1999
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If I had to burp/fart, I'd wait. Now it there was a loud noise IT might just sneak out. And if I had to pee, ummm. Hold it? Itd be funny if you could shoot open someone's bladder in inf...


"Something about the battle Excites people's emotions."

-Lady Une, Gundam Wing

page
 

Acey4 NA

New Member
Nov 27, 2000
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-breath-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

welcome to the jungle PUNK!
 

deathren

Dusty ****er.
Nov 26, 1999
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And mabye they could have a prune juice/Waffle crisp (Makes you fart BAD)/whatevercausesgastrointestinaldistress and the farts could become a Tactical weapon. And get a lighter... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:


"Something about the battle Excites people's emotions."

-Lady Une, Gundam Wing

page
 

owlofdoom

New Member
Mar 18, 2000
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you could practice your skills in the bathrooms at the shooting range

I'm that bird on Pestilence's shoulder
 

jars

New Member
Oct 11, 2000
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I think tripnine just wants to see if he can make this thread reach 5 or more pages.
 

Angel Of Death

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Oct 19, 2000
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Yeah, I don't think I even smiled the whole time I read that. That was really, really stupid and a waste of time. Tripnine, the least you can do is be humerous... that just shows that you try too hard.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
 

JonnyBoy

alive
Jun 6, 2000
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wow, this post is split in two between people who find it funny and those who don't. i for one don't.


sorry but your sense of humor isn't dry enough for me. :D :D :D

JB.gif